Do you worry about how your kids look?

[TruffleMonkey]

My daughter is 3.5 and always chooses her own outfits which usually results in some odd choices, but I don't really worry about it (as I'm no fashionista myself 😂)

I'm lucky if I can persuade her to let me brush her hair let alone do anything fancy with it.

Was speaking to a newish friend today who told me they don't like their child wearing certain colours, so they spend quite a bit on outfits for them. They also have designated clothes for 'play'. E.g they wouldn't let them go to Grandma's or out for lunch in those clothes, or something mismatched or mucky.

Just wondering people's thoughts really as I'm bored on a Sunday night and want to know if I'm being secretly judged for not minding how my kid is turned out😂

As long as it's clean and weather appropriate it's fine! My DS is 3 though and has no strong opinions. I don't bother with different clothes for weekends unless we are doing something like a birthday party or wedding. I used to do cuter outfits as a baby but now he gets stuff dirty or has an accident I can't be bothered.

I buy 90% of his clothes in bundles from vinted. I do weed out things I really don't like. DH is more fussy than I am as he thinks labels are common 😬 so anything with a label or big logo goes to a charity shop or I give away.

I'm just about to have a girl so that will be interesting!

My son is profoundly autistic. He’s clean and tidy, but beyond that he can wear whatever he likes, if he finds it comfortable and it makes him happy. He wears a lot of Frugi and little bird as he likes bright colours and fun patterns. I do limit him to one mad pattern at a time though, purely because he has to be closely watched at all times and if his outfit has too many colours and patterns on, it gives me a headache

The only thing I obsess over is my son's hair. We're black and I always keep it braided and neat. He chooses his clothes himself. His favourite colours are pink and purple and he prefers typically 'girly' clothes. Couldn't care less. He's constantly muddy, constantly food all over him. He's 6 - it doesn't matter.

Age appropriate, weather appropriate, and clean at the beginning of the day are about the only things I insist on. I pick my battles carefully and whether or not things match or look 'nice' is not one worth fighting IMO.

I think it’s important that dc understand different clothes may suit different settings / situations etc and luckily mine do wear eg smarter clothes for a nice meal out without me having to prompt them now (they’re secondary age) but I used to be very particular about their outfits. Eg never put them in joggers, character clothes. Always matching outfits, lots of Boden, jojo & JL.

DC1 mostly wears the skimpiest outfit she can find and dc2 mostly football kits or holey joggers. I’ve given up!

DC2 was very particular about clothes from baby onwards. Even at 6 months, DC2 would remove their gloves in winter and it didn't matter how many times I put them back on. As a toddler, they refused to wear socks and insisted on wearing the same red cardigan every day. I would have preferred more conventional clothing but I decided it wasn't the hill to die on.

DC1 wanted to be comfortable and wear bright colours but generally didn't care much about what they wore.

The DCs are now 20 and 22 and DC2 still has very firm ideas on what looks good and what doesn't - for example DC2 does not like black socks.

I care to the extent that I like to make the effort for them to look presentable clean teeth faces, hands, brushed hair and a cute hair do for the girls, ironed and reasonably nice clothes) the girls have some absolutely beautiful dresses and outfits but I'm quite happy to throw jeans and a pretty top of them too. But if they get scruffy throughout the day I don't care, at least I know they looked nice to start with. And I don't dress them head to toe in beige I absolutely hate that trend.

I do see some children though that look like they've never had a brush put through their hair, a crumpled up dirty and discoloured t shirt with loud patterned leggings that are all saggy and trainers. IMO that's too far in the opposite direction. A child who has clearly chosen there own clothes is clearly different to a child who has had no effort made on there appearance at all

We definitely have clothes designated for play. Cheaper/paint stained/ darker colour clothes for nursery. Then what I call their “Sunday best” for the weekend when we’re going out, still nothing too fancy just nicer colours, a bit more put together but still age appropriate and comfortable. However I do make sure they are well groomed, hair brushed and tied back, nails clean and short, face cleaned etc, this is non negotiable.

I go with comfort first but then I always buy clothes that are comfortable - for me and the kids - and then we section our clothes. We have PJs, then home clothes (glamorised PJs - old trackies, lounge wear, old Tees from work events and school trips etc). Some of these clothes are good enough to do a supermarket shop or visit local friends that we know too well with.

Then casual clothes that are good enough to go out in that we can throw on. So not quite PJs - but we would happily be seen in them. Good for a messy day out like theme park.

Then nicer casual clothes. In my case it would do for work. For the kids it’s good enough if we are visiting family or going somewhere nice. Clothes matter in my culture so annoyingly we have to look half decent and “scrub up well” to go to aunties house for example.

Then there is the very nice clothes for special occasions. I only have 1 or 2 for the children as they grow out of them very quickly and we don’t go to enough “fancy” places so they end up being unworn.

When my daughter was younger she pretty much had a favourite outfit in each category. But we spend a lot of our days in home clothes and casual wear.

Mine started every day with clean, brushed hair, clean matching or coordinated clothes, polished shoes etc
Of course they got dirty and untidy throughout the day but I wouldn't ever have dreamt of sending them to school with food down their jumper or their hair a mess or whatever.

If we were going out somewhere like visiting or for lunch, they'd be in clean things.

I didn't do designer clothes or anything but I liked them to look cared for.

I've seen some kids looking like noone loves them they're such a mess.

At 2 or 3 my daughter started insisting on choosing her own outfits and was a catastrophic mish mash of pattern and colour, so we made a deal that she could pick clothes for playgroup, nursery, the park, soft play etc, and I could pick for visiting people, going to restaurants and other trips out. Obviously I completely rigged the process, but it worked for us!

@Rachmorr57 first post nailed it!

I don't care for fashion or looking smart myself- I dress for practicality and comfort so I facilitated the same for my kids. Leggings/trackies/jeans/T shirts and hoodies all the way. Most of it from supermarkets/charity shops/hand me downs. Perfect for messy play, climbing trees, and rolling down hills! Both are developing their own styles and preferences as teens- one is into some branded stuff, the other less so but they both buy most of their stuff on Vinted.

I let mine choose between sets I put together.

The children's brand "Garanimals" in the US helped a lot.

You need another Elsa dress for when that one wears out...

I do make sure my 3 year old looks clean and has her hair brushed, and wears weather appropriate clothes. I love buying her nice 'trendy' outfits I guess, but I don't buy anything unpractical and I'm not fussed at all about brands or labels. I'd not put her in random outfits that clash myself but if she insists on wearing, say, a leopard print top with bright rainbow leggings I'm not going to stop her!

Clean on and appropriate for the weather were my only concerns when mine were younger in primary school (when not in Uniform).
My DD loved to wear mainly pink (she was not born into a pink everywhere house just her choice with clothes) my DS loved to wear things with spiders/snakes/dinosaurs and batman on them.
I supported their choices, as why not?!

I cannot stand mismatched clothes on my children. I don't notice it on others but they have to wear matching clothes. All of their clothes are arranged into matching sets before I put them in their drawers.

That would be such a vibe and I don’t think Gen Z or Alpha will realise the link between the two outfits 😋.

My eldest always insisted on wearing whatever made me look like a terrible parent - open toed sandals in winter that were too small. 3 skirts layered on top of each other and a big coat in summer. She always had wild hair.

I mean I liked choosing clothes to go together when they were babies but if they want to choose their own I'm all for it. Encouraging their own decisions is important IMO.

I could never get my head around it when people would post pictures on baby groups with captions laughing at how their husband had dressed the baby mainly because I could never see what was supposed to be hilarious about the outfit 🤷🏼‍♀️

I dress my kids well and ensure they always look put together, clean and tidy.

Some of their clothes are expensive, some aren't, I'm not obsessive over 'names' in the slightest. Quite often the cheaper things look smarter than those brandished with names, and I shop for what I think looks nice rather than just buying something for the label.

But yes, I like my kids to look smart and tidy. If they get dirty from playing etc though, I'm not one bit arsed, that's what they're supposed to do.

Yes but colourful clothing is fine. I prefer neutrals on my 1 year old but once they are old enough to choose their clothes they can. 5 year old likes more colourful clothes so I will choose things they like when shopping but their outfit has to match. I usually give them 2 choices of clothing and they will choose which they want to wear.

I do have seperate outfits for nursery/ grandparents which are nice but cheaper (I like George Asda for these). I don’t want to worry about them ruining their nice clothes which they wear for days out.

We try to dress DC a little nicer for going out to something special/for lunch with family, but otherwise very relaxed.

We buy clothes that look lovely but are practical. If they get damaged, no big deal.

My mum was always very particular about clothing and didn't want me to get dirty/risk stains and it felt so restrictive. I don't want that for DC.

No, but I always taught DD about appropriate clothes for venue and weather. Her clothes were generally high street particularly Next, Debenhams or Polar Pyret in the sale or good ol' supermarket.

Princess dresses, wellies and fairy wings featured heavily on normal days.

Nursery, we spent an afternoon tye dying some white t-shirts as her 'nursery' clothes so it didn't matter how messy or stained they got.

If we were going somewhere more formal I would give her a selection to pick from or give her a challenge "We are going to soft play today so you don't want buttons or zips that could catch on things....", "we are going to the theatre today so we need to look smart and tidy".

One of DDs favourite outfits at around 4 or 5 was lime green jeggings, white jersey polo style top, navy braces with white polka dots and a bow tie

At 15 she still loves a formal look and shirts, waist coats and ties feature heavily in her weekend outfits and she lives the dark academia look.