Do you worry about how your kids look?

[TruffleMonkey]

My daughter is 3.5 and always chooses her own outfits which usually results in some odd choices, but I don't really worry about it (as I'm no fashionista myself 😂)

I'm lucky if I can persuade her to let me brush her hair let alone do anything fancy with it.

Was speaking to a newish friend today who told me they don't like their child wearing certain colours, so they spend quite a bit on outfits for them. They also have designated clothes for 'play'. E.g they wouldn't let them go to Grandma's or out for lunch in those clothes, or something mismatched or mucky.

Just wondering people's thoughts really as I'm bored on a Sunday night and want to know if I'm being secretly judged for not minding how my kid is turned out😂

Blimey, if you can't go out in a riot of mismatched clothes with hair like a scarecrow when you're a kid then that's very sad. Kids in weather-appropriate clothing and suitable footwear. Wings and/or dinosaur accessories optional.

As PP said - school uniform a given, out of school is completely different.

I wish people would just stop judging such non-important things. And I wish the parents (Mums) who fear this judging would just thumb their noses to it and not give it any oxygen at all.

I care. I insist DC is tidy and well put together. We simply don't buy clothes we don't like or that combined won't work well so that helps a lot. We listen if there are types of things they really don't like wearing, but I'm not going to let them create a bad impression for them or us by looking odd or out of place.

No, I’ve given up! If she wants to go out looking like an eclectic mix of Barbie, swampy, summer & winter, I just let her. I spent too long trying to get her to look stylish & I gave up!

I used to love Gymboree clothing (showing my age here) but it was very expensive; that said so cute and could be handed down as practically new to siblings.

No they’re not dolls to dress up and play with. As long as they’re clean and fairly weather appropriate they can wear what they like.

Yes, I like them to look nice. If one of them had a strong preference for clothes or really didn’t like something I wouldn’t mind but neither of mine have expressed any interest at all. I probably spend too much on their clothes but it is important to me that they are dressed nicely and presented well.

I used to worry about ds as he's always been a little alternative, and I was worried he'd get picked on at school, as he chose to have his naturally curly hair long (and flatly refused to use any kind of conditioning treatment etc on it, so spend most of his secondary school years looking like he had a huge vandalised birds nest on his head!), plus he has asd and behaves differently as well, but, fortunately, he didn't experience any bullying at all.

He's nearly 19 now, has started to look after his hair properly, and lives in black jeans, converse and band T-shirts, usually with a guitar somewhere near him. He's definitely found his "look" and looks pretty cool I reckon.

Same!! My daughter is like a moth to a flame with anything pink, sparkly and flamboyant. She went to nursery the other day in a full on Cinderella ballgown, complete with crown (Mummy put my crown on!) and Wellington boots.

I've always let her know we don't believe in pink for girls, blue for boys etc and she can wear whatever she wants but that's what she wants 😂

Put them in leggins and tees and that is all you need

Completely agree with every word

Few jumpers, fleeces and a big coat for winter, and there you go

I care what my child looks like but only in a normal way I think. He has cheaper, casual clothes for pre school/the park etc that he can mess up as much as he likes. He has other clothes for when we're not out and about getting muddy!

Boys clothes are easy to match so hes usually well coordinated because of that. And he hasn't shown any interest in picking his outfits, he just puts on what I choose! He always looks well put together, hair always brushed, clothes are all ironed.

It's not a big deal though, just part of everyday life. Quite often i'll change him after a wet and muddy walk and it might not all match but I don't think about it like that- just want him to be warm, dry and comfy!

If he did want to choose his outfits that would be fine but I would still guide him - ie not his best jumper for pre school! I wouldn't care if all matched.

I have to admit I do have a reaction to how some kids look, but it's the opposite: I have a judgmental reaction when I see kids who look like super neat, wearing trendy clothes, basically where it looks like they've been dressed up and aren't allowed to get their clothes messy or disheveled in play. I really hate it.

When they were younger I hated them in character clothing and football strips, but did eventually give in to that as it's what they liked. Again not for smarter occasions though

Ahh the football strips. My eldest two have grown out of that phase now but last year ds3 (7) wanted to wear nothing else from April to September. I'm already getting 'mum when will it be warm enough to wear my kits' now 😂 Luckily he's still at the age where ANY football kit is cool as beans so I can pick him up any old random strip on Vinted and he's delighted.

And other than casual kickabouts in parks he doesn't even play football or watch it! Just wants the kits.

No, just clean and tidy enough.

She has friends that are identical twins,and they're always immaculate, even at the end of school...

My daughter gets her hair done in the morning, neat and tidy, but the time she stands up and takes 3 steps ... Birds nest. Comes out if school, hair half down, cardigan wonky, random stains, tights half way down her legs, t-shirt crumpled.
...these two girls walk serenely by, not a hair out of place and no crumple to be seen. It's bizarre.

The only consequence we have in our house that DD6 cares about is a football kit ban. That she takes seriously. She is only in shorts and T-shirts at home.

she chooses dresses in the shops and never wears them. We occasionally pride in into one on holiday and she loves it, all twirling and saying “ do I look lovely?” And the next day hating dresses again.

when I look at what she wore from 0-3 it was beautiful rompers/ dresses/ jeans and lovely tops.

now brand tracksuits or shorts with band T-shirts is as good as it gets. 😂😀

Im happy for them to pick out their own outfits, the issue we run into is that it’s not necessarily weather appropriate. Dd6 has a current obsession with summery jumpsuits, with a jumper or running around inside yes fine, but when we go out it’s a real battle to get her to wear something warm!
it’s also not ideal that the teen fashion seems to be back to crop tops and those tiny black Nike shorts so dd8 wants to copy them, so another battle there.

Context, got 5 - 3 boys, 2 girls. Until about 12 years old it was all charity shop or hand-me-downs for most clothes, they probably had more clothes to choose from than others and I didn't really care as long as it was weather appropriate. I was also less angsty than a lot of parents whose kids had been dressed for a party and they got dirty or spilt their food down themselves after being bought something new from Next. Harder once they get to teenage years, but they are a bit more careful then about their best gear. I always thought it was about the parent "projecting" what they thought their child should look like, no issue with that, but it comes with a cost, both monetary and in freedom terms.

I can't say I don't have an opinion on what my DC wear, but I don't really get a choice! They are very much their own little people and if I dare cross my 4 year old, I'm for it! Tutus, summer dresses with tights in winter, party outfits for the supermarket, those headbands with fake rainbow plaits hanging off them... But I never worry what they look like or what anyone else thinks, and I don't get them changed before going out.
Occasionally I'll tell them they HAVE to wear weather appropriate clothing. This often means putting a coat on over the tutu and wellies over the tights 🤣. 4 yr old would wear sparkly Elsa dress every single day if she could.

I do have separate nursery clothes though, and I try REALLY hard not to let them go to nursery in any clothes that are nice / expensive purely so they don't get ruined (they ALWAYS do painting whenever I happen to bend this rule on the very odd occasion and the clothes do get immediately ruined and relegated to nursery only clothes) and they actually have nice clothes left to wear for parties and the likes.

I have a very girly yet very wild 3.5 DD, she will sometimes pick her own outfits usually if it's new. But will happily wear whatever I put out for her. Waist length hair that she loves, but I tell her that if she loves it she needs to care for it so that means shampoo, conditioner, spray, brushing at a minimum. I also will do it tightly in an updo for preschool (nit prevention and out the way), then usually just clip the fringe up day to day unless she asks for anything specific.
Other than hair care and hygiene etc, I've never enforced she had to look a certain way and have allowed her to dress how she wants (within reason, I did not let her wear her swimming costume out and about in November 😂).
For nursery I had set clothes, no new items were worn there, but pre school she doesn't get super dirty so just any leggings and a top.

Me and DH usually try to make her clothes match. Even her rough/comfy clothes are usually a pretty pattern or colour.

I then buy a couple of v smart outfits for nice occasions. If we go out for a meal out, family event or something with friends I dress her in that and do her hair. I love it - we get so many compliments on how cute she looks.

Her hair does often look like a scarecrow tho - she's 2 and it's so incredibly fine. Brushing her hair in the mornings is a battle, but she has just started letting me put clips in it, which tames the wildness somewhat.

My only rule was no nothing novelty! I hate clothes with characters on them ie Peppa Pig or Thomas! Anything else went!

My eldest was all about comfort and familiarity so he looks like he wears the same clothes all the time.

My youngest was fascinated with clothes from the time she could crawl and has always had strong opinions about her outfits. I loved some of her mad combinations in pre school but I was secretly envious of the mums whose little ones had colour coordinated socks and hair bows.

She’s currently going through the teen stage of trying to be a clone of her friends, and I miss her wild individuality.

Not very much. I did enjoy dressing them when I had some control over what they wore. Now my basic rule is clean and no holes and I'm relieved if they manage that! Life's too short, I'd prefer they were just comfortable.

No. DD is 14 now so beyond making sure she has the right school uniform and shoes that fit well I don’t get involved in her decisions about clothes. But even when she was little I let her choose (within reason). I could have done without the six months when everything had to be orange, just because it was surprisingly hard to get orange clothes for a 4 year old, but I reckon it’s all part of learning to express themselves.