Comments to threads that make you go FFS

[Doctorwhew]

Op: I’m starting a new role where the dress code is business smart. I’ve only ever worn jeans and T-shirts in previous jobs. Help please
Comment: I’ve always wfh so only wear loungewear

Op: John Doe has died, that’s so sad.
Comment: I’ve never heard of John Doe

Op: Lunch ideas please. I’m unable to eat bread or legumes.
Many many comments: I have beans on toast. Lentil soup is my go to. I love pita & hummus. Just make a sandwich.

On and on and on 😩

As @PurpleChrayn said, I'm a nosey judgmental bint.

Haven’t seen much of that ‘cancel the cheque’ ‘cutted up pears’ ‘penis beaker’ gatekeeping for a while. It was handy tho, useful to see a neon sign above their post saying ‘nob’. At least you knew where you were with them. Mumsnet equivalent of football nobbers - ‘oh you’re not a proper fan, you may not speak unless you were at the match in the snow in 1997 when Romerobolero did the 89th minute flapjack’

My original post was about catastrophic language to which the you agreed so I was having a bit of fun with exaggerated language ……not at all at your expense by the way!

Any answer on a "what are you having for breakfast/lunch/dinner" thread 🙄

Or when someone can't work out how to word a message to school mum, contractor or other person, the 700 slight variations of the same twee little message. I especially love hate how every poster addresses their little message to a different name and it becomes like a competition about how unusual a name they can use.

OP: I thought this was a good time to plant strawberries but I was talking to my gardener and they said it's too early, is it?

Reply: They? How many gardeners were there?! I can't possibly answer your questions about strawberries because the post is just too hard to follow with all these different gardeners!

Where someone replies with what is clearly (to the majority of posters) a jokey response, but the respondee doesn’t get it and keeps on about it like a dog with a bone……

The one where someone was saying she didn't like using Alexa to switch on her lights - it seemed more faff than it was worth.

People saying they found it useful because they had a disability - fair enough.

People telling her she should really have thought about people with a disability in strong terms - just daft.

Does every post have to have an automatic disclaimer saying 'not if you are disabled, a single mum, poor, afraid to leave the house etc etc'

(Sorry if already posted)

OP - I've had a horrible fight with my mum/dad/sister/insert relative, they 'did really horrible thing' and I'm so upset, don't want to talk to them anymore, how will I cope

Unhelpful poster - that's awful, your 'relative' will die one day and how will you feel then? My 'relative' has died and I'd give anything to talk to them, you're so ungrateful!

FFS - not everyone has the same relationship with their relatives!!

A&E now!
Sounds like sepsis.

OP: I’ve just accidentally severed my head, fallen directly on to a large, very sharp, knife and stumbled in to what I think is some sort of metal bear trap that seems to be down to the bone on my ankle. Should I go to A and E for this?

Response: OMG ITS BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT THE NHS IS ON ITS KNEES

Plus any woman with a weird health thing "Could it be the menopause?".

Haha! I was going to say that once posters decide the OP is too hyperbolic or not stiff upper lip enough the resulting swarm of attacks is amazing. Things that mumsnetters hate are basically:
emotion
neediness (perceived)
desire first connection or affirmation.

If an OP trips that wire she uses in for pages of abuse.

When every person on the whole thread is telling OP to get out of the awful situation she’s in or cut contact with in laws etc.. and her reply “well it’s not that bad, i’ll just carry on.” 😧😧

Yep, you feel like saying, it's just you who thinks that. You're unique, you're special. Not a single one of the billions of the other people on the planet have ever thought that. And it is generally implicit that anyone who doesn't think that is somehow 'lesser'.

I also want to punch my screen when I see another thread start with 'Why do all'? Generally it relates to older people because if the poster put 'black' or 'gay' or 'Jewish' in the sentence it would be clear to the poster what an offensive statement it is.

Apologies, a bit off tangent but I've just seen another one about 'women 65+' where apparently their statistical sample was their Mum and her friends.

If someone wants to post about hating commenters who deviate from the original point of the thread - you know like talking about people who start threads instead of people commenting on them - I'll take it on the chin.

'Is he/she neurodiverse/depressed/insert random medical thing here'

Everyone's a keyboard physician here!

Only if you are over 45. Before that it's 'could it be early menopause' or at any point, apparently, over 30 it's 'could you be perimenopausal'.

I sometimes feel I must have missed the memo that came around that women are no longer allowed to have a health issue that isn't related to the functioning of their reproductive system.

I do this and will keep doing it until mumsnet introduces the most basic forum feature of being able to edit (shorten) a quoted reply.

Yes! The armchair doctors and psychologists…

Every minor niggle if you are aged 30+ MUST be peri-menopause.

Every rude shitty behaviour MUST be ND because it couldn’t possibly be anything else.

OP has high stress in their life and is posting as they are struggling with things… they MUST be undiagnosed ASD or have ADHD, or if brain fog also accompanies this stress they MUST be entering menopause, it couldn’t possibly just be because they are going through a period of high stress.

From most threads you’d think everyone with ND behaves appallingly or every woman over the age of mid 30’s is a blathering, incapable, emotional, sweaty, wreck incapable of anything because of peri/menopause.

@OhBling I saw one earlier this week where a poster made a small mistake. Was challenged. Clarified her position and acknowledged she'd worded it badly. Butshe was being HOUNDED by someone who wanted her to "admit you were wrong".
WEIRD.

I've seen weird ones where someone hounding the OP demands the OP answer something the hounder posted, & when that's politely ignored because it's not actually relevant to the discussion, the hounder demands an answer over & over again, along with 'I see OP won't answer my question' (with the implication that the OP has some ulterior, shameful motive for not answering), or the goady 'the OP will never answer my question, will she? I wonder why.'

This

"I'm going to go against the grain here" before labouring the same point that two dozen posters have already made in fewer words.

The ones where those of us with experience of actual narcissists recognise a behaviour pattern & discuss it or point it out to the OP, at which point people who've never come across narcissism in real life start claiming there's no such thing & everyone else is wrong & over dramatic.

No, narcs are a whole new ball game. If you'd ever seen it you'd recognise it too. Your experience is simply too limited.

This is the thing that annoys me the most.

"You do know/realise/understand that..."

"Ignore the other posters OP, they don't know what it's like"

"Update please?"

"Link please?"