Why have some older people not adopted Internet?

[SparklyNewMe]

My parents have embraced it naturally somehow, and DM is very active on SM.
PIL have not - similar ages but always scoffed at it as if it was devil’s work. No smartphones. Both were switched on and active in olde age. MIL is on her own now, dependent on DH and BIL for all admin, and simpler things she deals with on her own like finding opening times are harder. But it was 100% choice, not inability, to adopt it, as MIL went to college in her 60s to learn Microsoft Office and has been using Word and Excel for her hobby. But email or internet - dismissed completely.

I find the outright refusal to even try quite baffling. It's not as if it's a new thing they've had to get to grips with quickly. They've had 30 odd years to dabble. It's just stubborn refusal IMO and is a pain in the arse for those who have to do everything for them. (I will make allowances for the very elderly, like 85+ as long they don't refuse to carry a basic mobile phone)

I don’t think there is one specific reason that some older people don’t feel comfortable with technology in general. I think it’s a combination of things and one reason for one may not be the reason for the next.

My dad used computers a bit in work and when he retired he wanted to be able to use a laptop at home (mainly so he could book golf!) so he did a course and eventually did quite a bit on line. He was always a bit nervous though. He got a smartphone too and was on WhatsApp and liked being able to message people. My mum on the other had never had anything to do with computers and wouldn’t have managed at all. My MIL was a teacher but I’m not sure she used computers much - she always taught Reception year in a small private school. When she retired she said she would do a computer course but never got around to it. And she never wanted to have broadband installed. Over lockdown she realised what she was missing out on as even some older friends or members of her church were using the internet and having zoom calls and church services in zoom, she was quite annoyed that it was all going on without her. But it got to the stage that it was too late for her to learn it all. She had so many issues with just a basic mobile phone that I think she’d have been a nightmare with a smartphone.

I am 60 and have used computers for years and the internet since the 90s and have a smartphone and iPad. But I know I’m starting to get a bit frustrated with changes. I do know I need to keep up though.

I would find that so annoying!

My DH (who used to work in IT, is mid 70s) had a short time (just a year or two) where he refused to get a smartphone... he said he was fine with just texting or making calls on a basic phone. He used to find it funny and almost a point of pride too that he didn't have a smartphone. I told him he would look like a dinosaur, be left behind big time and don't be so ridiculous!
And I insisted he get one, and my goodness I've unleashed a beast!

He gets his sports scores on it, is in various whatsapp groups, checks his banking, emails, uses various apps for travelling and much more. I do remind him occasionally of his daft reluctance to embrace it, he glosses over that 🤣

I (mid 60's) had a house full of children when computers became widespread and home based. They wanted one, picked up the tech very quickly (because children) and sort of taught me along the way. My job relies on using Word and email etc, so I can do all that, internet banking, online shopping, everything I need to, but I go to pieces if you show me an Excel spreadsheet (because I've never needed to use one). So I can do what I can do, and my kids mostly showed (or still show!) me how to do new stuff if I need to.

My BF (late 60's) has an autistic son. I mention his autism only in relation to the fact that he didn't take IT at school and has problems with communication. So they never had a computer when he was young, he got a laptop later in life but can't (or won't) show my friend how to operate anything. She doesn't have a smartphone, can't do internet banking and only buys books on Amazon, no other internet shopping at all. Can't use Word, can just about write an email but worries about it 'going to the wrong place'. She recently got caught with a telephone computer-related scam and is now very very nervous about doing anything online.

Just two people, but it shows how not picking up computerisation can be done, despite my friend not being ancient and me not being the least bit techy.

My DPs are in their early 70s and have worked with computers during their working lives, so are pretty up to speed. I would be concerned about my dad falling for scams though, but my mum is v clued up and suspicious of everything. She is, however, in despair at the amount of time my DF spends on Facebook! Even I have muted him as he posts the most ridiculous mundane stuff and jokes.

My MIL was pretty good too thanks to working a heavily computer based job. They had a laptop and she would deal with everything that needed to be done online, etc. Sadly she passed away last year.

FIL worked as a tradesman his whole life and wouldn't even know how to turn a computer on!

He reluctantly agreed to get a smartphone (handmedown from us) as he wanted to be able to check his emails but was scared of the computer.

He only has a text and minutes contract with no data and absolutely refuses to move to a contract with data, even though it would be cheaper. No idea why, and he moans if his car sat nav takes him through traffic, so it would be better for him to have data (his car has Android Auto too!).

It's an "in-progress" mission at the moment to try and get him to switch. If he really doesn't want the data, we have no idea why he won't save money! Even my own DM tried to convince him at Christmas and he wasn't having it!

@Needmorelego many of your posts on this thread demonstrate a lack of empathy and understanding beyond your own experience. I think you should try to open your mind to people not using the internet for many reasons beyond stubbornness and unwillingness to change and modernise.

In my career (nursing, social work and then healthcare management) we only started having very basic computers which were for internal use only in the late 90’s. No internet at all.
Many people’s jobs will have involved zero computer contact.
I think you are making a lot of rather inaccurate assumptions.

Agree. A few years ago I had to go out with a younger colleague to help someone write a cheque. Younger colleague (who wasn't a teenager!) had no idea how to fill one in.

I felt old

@NigelHarmansNewWife what have I dismissed?
I understand fully if someone (not just elderly) cannot use the technology due to eyesight problems or hand trembling or other medical/learning needs.
But other than the stubbornness of not wanting to change what exactly are the reasons?
This thread hasn't told me.

am 60 and have used computers for years and the internet since the 90s and have a smartphone and iPad. But I know I’m starting to get a bit frustrated with changes. I do know I need to keep up though.

Similar - I had email in about 1990 and a broadband line to work from home in 1995.
But doing financial stuff properly securely is quite a pain. If anyone thinks it isn't they're probably being a bit too blasé. Do you have your phone properly locked down? Do you have 2FA on everything? Do you have properly long passwords on important stuff?
Some of my concern is precisely because I've spent my life developing software so I've got an informed imagination re what can go wrong! E.g. we won't use a password manager for anything really important because they're such an obvious target for serious criminal hackers - sure enough at least one has been broken into. Way before the recent publicity it was obvious that 'my voice is my password' was a terrible idea which would be vulnerable to fraud.

I agree @Mittens67 - very often there would be one computer in an office and a secretary would use it so in, say, a sales team the sales people never used the computer.

The cost of IT equipment has gone down relatively over the years and the ease of use of software and apps has increased. It's been a massive shift. Many of us walk around with handheld computers 24/7, as predicted by Arthur C Clarke yonks ago. But that doesn't mean everyone does or should.

Go back and re-read it and get some empathy.

The 90's were a long time ago though. I think you'd have to go to some special effort to avoid learning anything at all in the last 30 years.
Nobody is expecting great grandpa to be writing code, but perhaps being able to google the Christmas bus schedule or look up a phone number.

Mainly laziness.

My parents are perfectly happy using internet and social media, they are 75 and 80. Dm has some sort of programming degree from 25 years ago.

MIL will use Internet and email on her phone, she can pay for parking and search a website but she doesn't get amazon and I end up doing her ordering and she never accesses her email.

FIL completely ignores it. He's only capable of using basic phone features and refuses to acknowledge anything more.

@NigelHarmansNewWife no - I am genuinely curious.
Other than essentially refusing to change (ie being stubborn) what are the reasons?
I understand that medical/learning difficulties/mental health issues mean many people will struggle - but other than that.....what is it?

But doing financial stuff properly securely is quite a pain. If anyone thinks it isn't they're probably being a bit too blasé. Do you have your phone properly locked down? Do you have 2FA on everything? Do you have properly long passwords on important stuff?

My son’s friend works in IT (banking security). He is beyond paranoid. He won’t ever use a cashpoint or shop online. Even when he rings a taxi he won’t order it to his own house, he gives an address up the road. He won’t divulge any personal details at all, and has zero online presence. He’s 27 years old. I wonder whether he’s completely over the top, or is it really that unsafe and he understands that more than most?

I'm in my sixties and have worked with computers in some form since the 1980s so no problem with doing things online. But just recently there are things I can't understand, including Passkeys replacing Passwords for certain apps and websites. Is the passkey a code that I can somehow access (and where?) or is it hard-coded into my computer and accessed invisibly when I type in my computer's user password, or is it attached to my AppleID or what? If anyone could answer these questions I'd be very grateful because I can't find clear answers online.
I'm avoiding using Passkeys wherever possible because of not understanding them, and perhaps this is why some older people avoid tech altogether.

There's a lot in what you say. We have a friend who lives alone, rurally. She's not in the best of health, but grows all her own food and is fiercely independent. She's lived all over the world, including with a tribe in Africa. Despite all this, she has no confidence when to comes to tech and no awareness of the competitive nature of phone contracts etc.

What people put down to stubbornness is often a lack of confidence, or fear, of the internet. Many older people now didn't use computers at work, either because the role didn't need it or there wasn't a computer for each person in offices.

If you read the quote history you will see that I was replying to a pp who was referring to the workplace in the 90s

And....
Remember a lot of phone numbers, 10ps and always turn up on time.
Wait 28 days for delivery.
And for some, the ability to use the phone to talk to people.

Oh god, my SIL & her DH are the same . Their shared mobile is only switched on when they need to make a call, so heaven help you if you are meeting them somewhere and one of you is running late. Apparently it costs money just by being on and it’s expensive to receive calls as well as make them 🤦🏻‍♀️

Late 60s, so by no means ‘elderly’ ( I hope)

From my own experience with these people, because 'I cannot be bothered to learn new things, I wanna be left alone....'
Suits ME just fine!
👍

People who haven't embraced this technology must be very unusual. My in laws are mid 80's and use the internet and MIL in particular is very active on SM. My DM is 75 and my DF 77 and they both spend a lot of time on the internet. DF uses it more for local history and DM does all the banking and investment managing as well as her ancestry research.

I volunteer at an OAPs social club ( most are aged btw 75 and 90 ) and they are all on our Facebook group.

I found this online, but it explains it pretty simply:

Age-Related Cognitive Barriers
As we age, our brains naturally change. Some older adults may experience a decline in cognitive functions like memory, attention, and processing speed. This can make learning new tech skills more challenging, especially when faced with a constant barrage of notifications, pop-ups, and information overload.

Vision, Hearing, or Fine-Motor Skill Challenges
Small font sizes, low-contrast colors, and touchscreens that require precise movements can be major obstacles for older adults with vision or dexterity issues. Hearing impairments can also make it difficult to understand audio instructions or participate in video calls.

Fear of Making Mistakes
Let's be real, we've all accidentally deleted an important file or sent an email to the wrong person.
For older adults who may be less confident with technology, the fear of making a costly mistake can be paralyzing. They may worry about breaking their devices, losing important data, or falling victim to scams.

Lack of Interest
Sometimes, the simplest explanation is the most accurate: some older adults simply aren't interested in technology.
They may have lived perfectly fulfilling lives without it and see no reason to change their habits. Or, they may feel that technology is just too complicated and not worth the effort.