Why have some older people not adopted Internet?

[SparklyNewMe]

My parents have embraced it naturally somehow, and DM is very active on SM.
PIL have not - similar ages but always scoffed at it as if it was devil’s work. No smartphones. Both were switched on and active in olde age. MIL is on her own now, dependent on DH and BIL for all admin, and simpler things she deals with on her own like finding opening times are harder. But it was 100% choice, not inability, to adopt it, as MIL went to college in her 60s to learn Microsoft Office and has been using Word and Excel for her hobby. But email or internet - dismissed completely.

I’m in my 60s and was an IT professional. I deeply resent the shift of all customer service admin from the supplier to the customer, and download as few apps as I can get away with- I have this morning changed taxi firms as the major local company has made it more difficult to speak to a person by phone,

My mother is 90 and cannot type or use catch-up on tv, or read messages on her special basic mobile phone. She is also deaf, but fully compos mentís. Getting anyone to do anything on paper is a nightmare. I make full use of paper based systems just to keep them available,

ETA the functionality illiterate are also excluded by the shift of everything to the internet.

I don't understand why anyone would criticise another person for not using social media? I really don't see anything wrong with people not using the internet, smart phones etc if they choose not to do so. I've got a couple of friends in their 60s who don't have smart phones and who hardly use the internet. One of them chooses not to use a debit/credit card and pays for everything in cash - that's her choice and she doesn't think it impacts negatively on her life, and I have to agree with her. Both of my friends are intelligent women but don't feel the need to make use of the technology available nowadays.

My mum used the internet when she was in her 80s, but could never understand the point of things like Facebook or forums - if she wanted to keep in contact with her friends then she picked up the phone, met up with them, or wrote to them. She also always said she was far too busy with other activities to waste hours on her laptop.

From my point of view, having a smartphone is fairly pointless for me for much of the time as we don't get a reliable signal at home most of the time and our internet connection is unreliable. My husband only got his first mobile phone under five years ago and managed perfectly well without one until then. I enjoy using the internet and it's necessary for work for the majority of people nowadays, but the world did work very well before it was available, and still does in many countries in the world.

My parents don't have the internet at all - they just don't think they need it and they are both 74. It's a right PITA at times (whenever they come and visit DM spends half the time getting me to look things up for her), but they manage and just think it is a waste of money for something they won't use much.

The biggest faff is that they also live in a rubbish spot for mobile data, so I can't get anything more than 3G when I visit! If there comes a time when I need to stay at theirs for any period of time to help/ sort things out for them (I'm an only child) I will be getting broadband installed pronto otherwise I won't be able to work or do anything I would normally do.

DFIL has an engineering background and designs databases for a living. He won't use social media because he still associates internet culture with awkward nerds. Its not for people like him.

DDad did an open university degree. I was privileged to witness his essay writing process.
It involved writing the entire essay out with a pen and paper.
Then DM did his typing and printed it out.
Then he read through it, counted the words on the paper copy, made edits with a pencil and passed it back to DM who typed the whole thing out again.
While this was going on, DM accidentally hit the overwriting key and DDad said "Oh dear, its doing that thing where it eats the words again. Well as we know, there's nothing we can do about that. Time to turn the computer off and have a cup of tea"

Passkeys are on the device but you can't access them, in my Apple Passwords app I have 3 but it just says the website name like for example Amazon, there is no code I can access but occasionally when I have wanted to log in it says use passkey and it opens with my Face ID on phone and iPad and fingerprint on IMac, I think it just saves remembering passwords but the password manager does that anyway so I don't really see the point as I still have a password that I sometimes use.

Do you not see that those encompass a huge number of reasons/issues? You come across as dismissive. @Anonym00se's post of 10:15 is really good.

Are you describing yourself?

Some people can function perfectly well without it. My parents didn't rely on me for anything to do with the internet @CheeseandMarmiteToastie. They were well read (my father was a doctor - had a pager back in the day but was retired by the time mobiles were the norm) and mother had a masters). They only watched the terrestrial channels. They read books. They went to the grocery store in person. They bought a newspaper daily. They used a landline. They never emailed - they wrote letters or called people. They went to a physical bank. They booked flights via the phone or a travel agency. If working they'd probably need more engagement with the internet (and while my father's area of medicine was very high tech/computer based he didn't have to operate it, but he did understand how it worked) but it just did not factor in their day to day lives.
Would certain things be easier? Sure. And it helped that they lived in a city that still had a branch of their bank etc.
I'm in my 60s and fully embrace new tech! I use it to bank, buy stuff, keep in touch with my kids, entertainment, work and social media. But I would not be tracking a bus on an app @Tolber.
But what you may consider essential many people do not.

@NigelHarmansNewWife I understand what @Anonym00se 's post was saying but what I have been saying is many of the "elderly" weren't elderly when these technologies were introduced.
Someone who is 90 now would have been in their 60s in the 1990s when home computers/mobile phones/internet was becoming common place.

That's good of you, making allowances for the over 85s as long as they have a basic mobile phone.

The ageism on this thread is appalling and depressing.

Exactly. Todays elderly weren't elderly 30 years ago. Can you imagine the response if I dared to suggest a 50 or 60yo was too old to learn something new?

For my parents I think the problem is that they didn't start using a lot of what is now everyday tech when it was new to everyone, as they thought the tried and tested 'old fashioned' way worked better and there was no need to bother with what they saw as unnecessary/faddy technology for the sake of technology. By the time it started to get harder to do things the old fashioned way, they found they were so far behind in their understanding of how things work that it all seems confusing and frightening, so they are genuinely worried that they will make a mistake and create a big problem. They are starting to try to learn how to do things online etc but because they are not used to it, they are confused when things work slightly differently on different sites/apps or when online tools are updated so don't look exactly the same as they are used to. They often feel frustrated and overwhelmed when they try to use online systems so they will usually try to find ways to do everything by phone or in person (which often means phoning me to do things online for them) even if this takes longer and makes things more difficult for them in the long run.

For context, both are intelligent people who used computers for work up until the early 00s so are confident in using specific software packages and sending e-mails but can't get to grips with online tools/smart phones etc. In contrast, my MIL is a similar age but started using a smart phone/i pad etc quite early so she's developed her understanding of how to use the technology as it has emerged. If anything, she has less of a background in computers than my parents but she is very confident in using online booking systems, apps, social media, video chat etc and loves that she can do all of these things even if she's out and about.

But 30 years ago if you hadn't ever used a computer you wouldn't suddenly want to buy one as they were quite expensive and took up a lot of room. We had one with a big tower thing and it had its own desk, laptops were very expensive then.

Obviously they can do what they want, but I won't pretend to think it's reasonable.

But the introduction of the technology was gradual. If you were never exposed to it then it's hugely different now. I was at uni in the 90s. Never set foot in the computer room as all exams and coursework submissions were hand written. When I started work, there was maybe one computer in an office or workplace employing 30+ people.

It's wrong to assert that these things were commonplace in a way that means everyone used them. They just weren't. People in their 60s thirty years ago were likely retired then so won't have even seen a computer or the internet in a work setting. Even those who were younger quite likely never used them themselves. Why is this so hard to understand? Time and again on threads on MN there's a total lack of perspective and understanding that things were different. Computers and the internet were very much seen as work tools so why would you have them in the home if you hadn't experienced them elsewhere?

And don't forget early closing on a Wednesday !!

My in-laws and my dad are keen internet users. For all manner of things.

My mum was adamant she wasn't going to engage. At all. Even when it became obvious I needed to take on some of her admin/shopping she refused to allow me to do any of it online (which would have saved me soooooo much time). She used computers at work previously, has been an electronics engineer straight from school so knew the technical stuff way beyond my understanding, but no. I began to think it was more about dictating my life by refusing to engage (lots of back story, in the end I had to step away for myriad reasons). Funny thing is HER mother would have been amazing with the internet - she was disabled and mostly housebound but mentally 100%, it would have made her final years so much more liberating!

Obviously, but there were public computers in libraries, friends and family may have had one, schools had them. They became smaller and cheaper quite quickly, then smartphone and tablets have been around a while too.
There's a middle ground between never using the internet at all and being early adopter.

Plenty of pensioners would have thought it ridiculous to invest in a home computer in the 90s. They weren’t cheap back then. Why would they have needed it? All I used to do was talk on MSN and watch music videos on YouTube in my 20s. Why would someone in their 60s struggling on a pension bother?

It’s only the past 10 years that everything has moved online and it’s become a barrier to day-to-day life. Before then (even up till lockdown) people could still manage without the internet, even if their methods seemed long-winded to us, it was just what they were used to doing.

As an old person who is very tech savvy, I did use Word etc at work back in the day, but I taught myself how to use lots of things, like the Internet. I couldn't care less if people my age and older don't use it. I know one person who is younger than me, in her 50's, who refuses to have the internet in the house, won't get a smart phone, but gets other people to order stuff, book tickets for her. I have other friends who can use it but use it for as little as possible because 'they don't like it'. I'm now at the stage where I'm refusing to do anything for these people if they ask me. I'm of the opinion that you should learn how to use the internet no matter how old you are. Most things are done online now, it does make your life easier, and learning new skills is good for you as you get older.

Yes...my mother was a secretary and used a "word processor", but the internet was only really launched in the late 1990s...There were inter office emails etc, but not the internet.
I remember the very large law firm I worked for in Central London getting a computer and inviting staff to be trained on the "world wide web" in 1999! There were inter office emails etc, but not the internet.

The 90 year olds would have been over 70 when the first smartphones came out around 2008.

And computers had been around a long while before that.... they weren't 70 then.
I do accept that for the very elderly, perhaps they wouldn't have picked anything up. But the OP is about "older people", under the age of about 85, it's been a conscious choice not to engage. Which is up to them, obviously.

I’m only in my 50s but I remember about 20 years ago my exH reading a magazine article and telling me that new phones were being developed that were also a camera/video and you could use the internet on them, send emails and play music. I said to him “That’s ridiculous. That’s far too many things on one item that could break. That’ll never take off!” 😂

My husband is mid 60s and works in the IT industry. I don’t think there is any excuse for anybody under about 75 to not be able to use the internet etc , it’s been around a very long time . My MIL is in her 90s , no internet , no mobile and forever moaning that she cannot buy what she wants in the shops and that there is nothing on the TV . Broadband would completely change her life , and could have been doing so for years .