Why have some older people not adopted Internet?

[SparklyNewMe]

My parents have embraced it naturally somehow, and DM is very active on SM.
PIL have not - similar ages but always scoffed at it as if it was devil’s work. No smartphones. Both were switched on and active in olde age. MIL is on her own now, dependent on DH and BIL for all admin, and simpler things she deals with on her own like finding opening times are harder. But it was 100% choice, not inability, to adopt it, as MIL went to college in her 60s to learn Microsoft Office and has been using Word and Excel for her hobby. But email or internet - dismissed completely.

Older People, myself included, were the generation that actually brought you the internet! I worked in IT for the majority of my adult life was working at 16 punching cards, early days of computing. I love smart phones, do all my banking on them etc.

My late MIL loved her desk top pc and kept her really connected to her grand kids she was mid 80s. She coukd also text like a teenager.

Also my grandad was texting until his mid 80s (he died 10 years ago).

My grandma could hardly use the sky remote.

All different.

@Anonym00se that is quite sad.
I do forget sometimes that some places no longer have libraries (or ones with very limited opening hours).
Quite a few libraries I know have become volunteer run - so hopefully things might change for the next generation 🙂

Perhaps they are afraid they'd end up on forums like MN and waste their life away reading about dilemmas and dramas of people they will never meet.

@TroysMammy that's true 😂😂😂😂

I mentioned in an earlier post, I feel she could have but out of stubbornness she wasn’t interested/let my father do it/claimed she didn’t understand/couldn’t be bothered until we are in the situation where she is widowed and can’t do a thing.

I do accept that some older people struggle with eyesight/tremor or might find some things difficult like remembering different passwords etc but like a pp, my dm was bought an iPad and refused to switch it on when she was more than capable of learning a few basics.

It is not just age. I worked in employment support and can report poverty of place, education, low literacy, learning disabilities.... lead to so many being digitally illiterate! Been raised countless times with government that society's race to become virtual is leaving huge numbers behind. Also a big issue with Internet use is fraud and scams, with many of those I worked with having been subject to this and it adding to their distrust! There are also hardware issues, so some thought needs to be given to the actual kit used too.

DH has to do everything for MIL. She doesn't have WiFi, wouldn't or couldn't learn how to use the Internet even when FIL was alive. He used the Internet, understood it, kept up with technology as best he could but she refused to have anything to do with it. She can't do any banking, pay bills, arrange insurance etc and DH has to do it all for her because a lot of businesses don't do things via the telephone any more. We found this when I lost my credit card a couple of years ago, and was only able to report it lost online - they wouldn't accept a phone call.

For MIL I think it really is fear of technology, not understanding it and having not grown up with it. Some people are genuinely afraid of it. My late dad did his best to keep up with technology but even he struggled at times and couldn't get to grips with the kindle we bought him.

Being off social media is fine but it’s increasingly hard to access essential services like banking, utilities and even health care without internet access. Even ordering a grocery shop on a freezing day can be a life saver. I guess that some older people don’t understand this, or are scared of getting something wrong if they start learning now, or distrust all technology, or prefer to rely on their children who know what they’re doing.

And of course "the Internet" keeps changing and so does the way people use it and the things they use it for. And what they imagine "the Internet" is.

People who've never touched a computer have a good reason to struggle with "the Internet".. though it might be easier to jump straight to smartphone and miss out the computer bit altogether. Technological change leaves cognitive baggage.

And just because you've been told how to do something on "the Internet" doesn't mean you have a handle on everything. Or that you can cope when it doesn't go exactly as expected, which it often doesn't.

Yes - how many times have we seen news stories of lorries blocking one track lanes unable to turn round, or people driving into rivers because they prefer to trust their sat navs than the evidence of their own eyes...

Why not just ensure the buses run on time and there are no unexpected long delays? Surely in these advanced tech days there's a way to ensure that no one (including people whose smartphone has just run out of battery) should be left waiting for 45 minutes in the cold?

I think some of it is lack of confidence/ training and inability to learn new tasks. DM had to be forced to use a basic mobile (never a smartphone!) and rarely texted. Would rather speak on the phone. Never used a PC though a very competent shorthand typist. Always did her accounts in longhand, and her banking in person at the bank.

DAunt (3 years younger) gives online training courses in her hobby, use SM, online shopping etc but has always been a more curious and outgoing person.

The OP clearly says her MIL can, and does use a computer - it's specifically the Internet she won't use.

My guess would be its fear of being scammed, or of losing money or privacy due to incompetence. These are real concerns - older people are targetted.

Not every place of work used computers though, did it? You learn what you need to at work

I think it’s more than that. Scientific studies prove that young people’s brains are wired differently to older people due to technology. For example, older people are better at retaining information because we had to remember things when we were young. Our problem solving skills are better because if something broke, we had to work out how to fix it. Whereas young people don’t need these skills. If they need information, they google it. If the need something fixing, they google how to do it. So there is no need for them to develop the skills that we have. Their brains are adept at embracing and using technology.

If an older person has used computers during their lives (my almost 90 year old FIL worked in IT in his later career and is still a whizz) they’ll find it far easier than a 60/70 year old who is being shown for the first time. In that instance, their brains just aren’t wired the same, because those neural pathways have never been laid down. It’s like learning a foreign language to them, that keeps changing all the time. It is immensely difficult.

Yes, never in life has there been a bigger waste of time.

I know an older person who hasn't and is definitely struggling with the number of services that require it. It can be frustrating for their family....but this person is incredibly mentally healthy. Still active, working and socialising in their 80s. Very routined, conscientious and mentally astute. One of those people who can fix anything. I look at my generation and my kids and I think it is us smart phone dependents who are vulnerable.

Neither of my parents have adapted to using modern technology particularly well. Seeing them being clueless and anti the way society has changed in this regard, has really made me realise how important keeping up to date with technology is. They got by in lockdown, but I think if that had happened now, because they're that much older, I'd have been quite worried about them.
Unfortunately, my mother has always refused (despite my gentle pushing) to go on any of the free courses at the local libraries aimed at silver surfers because, 'I'm too busy!' (She is a pensioner and former SAHM)
Some of the stuff she comes out with suggests that she may believe there is a conspiracy where everyone else is helping each other learn how to use the internet and she alone has been left out. I've explained that my siblings and I can show her how to do something, but that really you just need to get on a device and play around yourself to really learn, but it's like talking to a wall.🙄
My in-laws on the other hand (FIL is 5 years older than the rest) have always kept up with email, internet shopping and have eagerly embraced whatsApp! 😀

"it’s increasingly hard to access essential services like banking, utilities and even health care without internet access."

Just an aside really:

What really really shocked me is the government expect the unemployed to have 24/7 internet access.
You can't really do anything regards Universal Credit and unemployment without accessing your journal which is 100% online.

It puts a barrier in place for some people who struggle with English or reading or computers or whatever.

It's also made Internet essential to claim support, but that support is £390 or so a month which barely covers food, heat and light, let alone internet access...

(And then those wealthier than the poorest look down their nose and call them names because they pay for that internet, which they have to pay for to get access to the support they need to hopefully help them find work so they don't need the support... "Look at all those poor and starving with their smartphones..." Etc and so forth.)

i don’t agree. They are using relatives as dogsbodies. They are likely to need it more as they get older. It is just lazy to expect someone else to do the things you can’t be bothered with. Time for some hard love I think.

Yes!

Also, my DM almost treats it as a point of pride and a bit of a joke that she doesn't know how to read or send texts on her phone. 🙄

My mum 80 finally caved and now has an iPhone, we use it to WhatsApp and google maps and I've just downloaded a parking app for her and loaded in card details, it's been very gradual showing her how to use the camera while on holiday etc, how to send pictures to her friends on emails.

So stubborn has graduated to "actually this is useful" but it's taken bloody years.

I'm on computers all day and still expect I'll be a bit behind in my 80s the rate things change and so what, that's life I guess.

I'm semi-retired but work with a number of younger people who are less confident with tech stuff than I am.
Sadly there are some women who have fallen into the trap of computers being 'for men'.
Their husbands or sons have done computer-based tasks for them, just as they themselves struggle with, say, loading the dishwasher or doing laundry.
I'll confess to being baffled by booking tickets online on my laptop [bigger screen, proper keyboard] and then wanting to use them on my phone, but I worked it out eventually 😆