Why have some older people not adopted Internet?

[SparklyNewMe]

My parents have embraced it naturally somehow, and DM is very active on SM.
PIL have not - similar ages but always scoffed at it as if it was devil’s work. No smartphones. Both were switched on and active in olde age. MIL is on her own now, dependent on DH and BIL for all admin, and simpler things she deals with on her own like finding opening times are harder. But it was 100% choice, not inability, to adopt it, as MIL went to college in her 60s to learn Microsoft Office and has been using Word and Excel for her hobby. But email or internet - dismissed completely.

While I recognise what you are saying, there is more and more focus now on accessibility of online resources for people with disabilities, often mandated by regulation and that should hopefully continue. It may be hard for those who are disabled due to old age to think of themselves in that way, but things like screen readers are available for visually impaired people, or sites have to have an accessible version as well as the standard one. It may be that finding out more about that sort of thing could help people like the Mum with arthritis described by a PP.

A lot on this thread are thinking that using a computer and using the internet are the same thing.
They aren't the same 😂
I know this thread is about embracing the internet but people are telling stories of their older relatives apparently never touching a computer in their lives - which is just odd.

Speaking as an Older Person... and just so you know, because this will happen to you... how many times do you want to have re-learn how to do something very basic in a totally different way?

When I was a little kid my family was unusual in having central heating at all. There was a coke fire in the sitting room which we used during strikes and fuel shortages. Since then I've managed storage heating on Economy Seven and gas central heating on a timer. And fuck me, now my cental heating needs a password. It has its benefits (individual room timers are useful and I like being able to turn the heating on and off remotely) but I don't appreciate the cognitive load.

I started from physical banking and chequebooks and passbooks and paper statements to credit cards to cash machines then phone banking to online banking to smartphone banking. All different ways of doing the same things. All with different security procedures and all with different possibilities for fraud.

Dunno about you but everyday life is complicated and when I was middle aged I was very busy. It's often it's quicker and easier to get by doing what you know until it all changes so much that you really can't keep it up. I do learn some new shit for the sake of it but really who has the time?

For me using computers is totally normal but using smartphones for everything (which I increasingly do) is still weird shit.

And I'm not that old yet.

My elderly relative is just terrified of being scammed. She has a bank card but she's never used it online, only ever to withdraw cash (well send my dh to get cash) from cash machine or post office. Refuses to do an online food order so we shop for her. Asks us to order things online using our cards then pays us in cash which is a faff. She does have direct debits for household bills but won't use any kind of internet banking. And she flatly refuses to use a self serve machine if she goes shopping. She really worries us carrying large amounts of cash around. Pretty sure she keeps a lot in her home too. But she won't be swayed at all.

I pushing 70 and am fine with computers but that's probably because I've used them for years. Smartphones are another thing though, I really struggled with using one, got one, gave up, then found another that is more for 'elderly' people an I am just about managing that, but don't do social media on it, only texts and phone calls.

For me it's a combination of eyesight, less dexterity, I'm slower mentally to grasp how to do something, then to remember that for the next time (unless I am repeating said thing over and over), and getting very tired concentrating. It's frustrating as I was so quick as a young woman and learned things fast and retained them. So don't be too hard on older folk, it really is far harder and one day some of you 'young ones' will say 'oh now I understand what they meant!'

We are fast approaching 70 and both very aware that if we don’t keep up with technology it will leave us behind. So many things are just not available/accessible to those who aren’t internet savvy. Until she died, we cared for a lady in her 90s and she found the modern world a very confusing place. So we are determined to keep learning and so far, we’re doing ok.

One thing I’ve noticed is how many scaremonger stories abound on magazine style daytime TV shows about online scams and whilst it’s good to raise awareness you’d think from the programmes that the whole of the internet is populated by a pack of ravening wolves. I imagine anyone older being very suspicious of the whole thing.

I’m a trustee of the local community centre and we have free courses/ individual tuition available but there’s a high degree of reluctance in our older service users.

I know mine didn't, he didn't even have a telly after he left us

Because they know they can act hopeless and get other people to do things for them.

I get a 90 year old not being able to use Excel (why would they need to) but there is no reason a 60/70 year old can’t log into a bank account and pay a bill, enter a meter reading or check in for a flight.

My DF (late 80s) worked with computers for most of his life, however in the last 20 years he has developed a tremor in his hands that means he cannot use any sort of touchscreen and now can barely manage a standard computer keyboard. It is heartbreaking going out with him and watching a waiter hand him one of the new card machines with touchscreens on because he just can't enter his PIN no (he can just about manage the ones with buttons). Can't use phone pay because he can't use a smartphone. DMum is better but terrifed of scammers, hates the way that just as she gets used to one way of doing things we are told that's not the most secure way now and to change, all the apps for everything, plus reading about scammers all the time makes her anxious. I have been through putting stronger passwords and 2FA on some of her accounts for her and she is finding it all hard work, she could cope with one password for everything, you could get away with it back in the day but now it all seems too much. And honestly, I get it, I am pretty tech-happy, but I get stuck in the endless loop of a password reset that won't quite work from time to time and it is hard.

My mums always had awful eyesight and just doesn’t need the internet enough to be using it enough to be good at it so it’s a huge thing when anything can’t be done in person and I get that because it takes me a long time to click with new technology, figure stuff out etc. I love that there’s people who take umbrage with someone finding stuff difficult- great it’s easy for you, but I doubt there’s many not embracing technology because they’re trying to be bothersome!!!!

I do think it's coming to the point where not been able to use the internet will be the equivalent of being illiterate. Although some people get by in life and always have done but than you do need people / authorities to help out.
The internet is definitely one of the best and one of the worst inventions of our time though !

I think most people would be happier without social media. I personally preferred life before mobile devices. The older members of my family who do use social media really shouldn't, they have zero filter, as is often the case in the elderly (if my local FB page is anything to go by!)

Considering the thread is titled:

"Why have some older people not adopted Internet?"

My reply of:

"I don't blame them...."

Refers to that.

Sorry if that confused anyone.

Oh and DFIL worked as a manual labourer for his entire life and has never used a computer. He does use a smartphone in a basic manner (has a banking app, email, FB and takes photos) but is not really online in any meaningful way for his life admin.

But, all these older people in my life are very good at picking up the phone and calling people or talking face to face. Yet I saw an article about a college yesterday where they are having to train teenagers to make phone calls. So each generation has its challenges.

There are so many judgemental, ageist posts on this thread. Typical for Mumsnet.

I taught my husband to use a keyboard about 30 years ago when we got our first computer. He thought he wouldn't manage to use it as you had to be able to type but once he realised you just stab buttons with the right letters he never looked back.

@StrawHatLuffy yes I realised what I had said and corrected myself in another comment.
But a lot of people are saying "my 80 year old parent has never touched a computer in their life" - which I find very unusual.

My dps have both passed , but in their 70s they hadn't embraced technology/ the Internet. I think they were oblivious to it , and just weren't aware it was such a thing.

My dm wouldn't pay with a debit card, although she had store cards, so I'm not sure what her reasoning was.

Neither of them used computers for their job . Df was able to do all paperwork by hand, and dm left the workforce prior to computers being available ( she used a typewriter ).

Can’t they use a map then? Wouldn’t they have done that before sat navs?

Or can you sit in the back while the phone is using the sat nav and check they do it right for the first time? Maybe they’d agree if you say you’re not doing it anymore.

How old are we talking? My mum early 70s still works. Has to manage people online. Do zoom calls. Online courses.

Has an iPhone 15 with Facebook and online banking. Is wary of buying online incase it's a scam. So I order on my account.

Mother in law the same age has never used a cash machine.

Internet or computer, my dm won’t use either.

The flip side to the OP would be Why are some younger people so hopeless they can't read proper maps, can't sort out their own plumbing issues, can't do mental arithmetic in shops, can't stick to plans, etc etc

New technology means old skills are being lost. Which is fine until your battery runs out or google maps doesn't know about a road closure.

My DF has loads of skills I don't have. Last year he turned a new spindle for our dining room chair on his lathe. This year he has made a plinth to raise DM's chair up and another clever bit of woodwork to raise her bed. He's 95 next month.

@2025uk out of curiosity....why?

There are usually other ways round things - and if there aren't then there ought to be as there are people who have valid accessibility reasons for not using it.

My mother used to love going on Facebook and was quite happy using the internet, but she is so visually impaired now that it is impossible for her to use it any longer.

IMO, too many companies (and the government departments) have been too quick to put everything online without ensuring that there are alternative ways of getting the imformation / doing what you have to do for those who have genuine reasons for not being able to use the internet.

I learned how to use a computer in our local library, they had beginners classes during the week (we didn’t really learn how to use a computer properly in school). But my Mum worked full-time during the week so she wouldn’t have been able to get to the library. I’m sure doing her housework took priority on her one day off a week as a single mother.

I eventually became an IT teacher for a few years, and unfortunately our local libraries stopped delivering outreach classes over ten years ago due to cuts. By the the time she would have been able to attend, they’d stopped. We don’t even have a library now.