Vasectomy - feels so very final

[NameChange101xox]

Hello, please be gentle with me as this was hard for me to type out.

We are incredibly lucky and have 3 beautiful children, two boys and a girl. My youngest is 3. She was a delightful baby, slept all night, happy all day, strangers would come and tell me how special she was.

during her birth i haemorrhaged and I had to have iron infusions and tranexamic acid etc etc.
We are 100% done with having babies, we cannot afford another, it would mean a new house, new car, and I am 37 and not in a position to be able to do those things. And even if I could afford it I am not sure if I would.

I didn’t want to take hormonal contraception due to risks (I don’t want to drip feed but also don’t want to share this part of my story) so husband has been on waiting list for a vasectomy since she was born. He finally has an appt, it’s in a week. It’s the safest and most responsible thing to do, but it just feels so very very final. I am very much a baby person, but having my third be such a delightful baby makes me want to do it again.

basically I’m not sure what I’m saying here. Words of comfort please maybe? I want him to go through with it, I wish money and finances and things were different, it’s the safest thing for
me, I definitely couldn’t cope with another baby or child either. Has anyone been through similar? Thanks in advance x

Without being too outing I work in the nhs in paediatrics

In ten years time you won't regret stopping. Your youngest will be thirteen and you will be able to do so much more with them. You won't miss the school years by then either lol.

I love my late teen/young adult children and in time grandchildren may come along and give us those early years again.

It is the end of an era though and I think we all find these transition stages a bit sad but it will be worth it.

I used to fall pregnant easily. My ex refused to have a vasectomy. When youngest was two he left and more recently got current partner (not the one he left for) pregnant twice, she lost both in quite traumatic miscarriages and has been very ill. He is over 50 now and if one of those babies had survived my children would have had a sibling over 26 years younger! That just seems crazy.

Thank you for being so kind. Yes, maybe it is just the sadness of it being an end of an era. I really hope I don’t regret it and I look back and think yes it was the right decision like you say.

I am ten years down the road and neither of us have regrets. Life changes as children become young adults, but it is still rewarding. I have been rediscovering old interests I gave up as a young mum due to lack of time. The lack of need to worry about pregnancy/contraception is liberating and does wonders for the love life. You will be fine, give it time 😊

Thank you too for being so kind when I am feeling so fragile.

i am trying to be excited for all of the things we can do as they grow up. Days out, holidays, more times for clubs and activities.

mine had a vasectomy after 3 as well. I did feel abit sad but ultimately happy with the decision to just have 3. Especially now, travelling is easier that the kids are older, going away camping is easier. I do have a friend same age with 3 kids same age as mine (youngest is 11) who is pregnant (planned) with number 4. And honestly when I saw the Facebook post the first thing I thought is how glad I am to be done - we are making plans for when dd leaves school, I’m going to work overseas for abit. And another baby would not fit in with that.