Tidy rooms

[MrBiscuits24]

My fucking god I swear I will take a bin bag to their bedrooms and chuck anything thats on the floor.

Two DDs 11 and 8. I am desperately trying to make them independent. Whatever I’m doing isn’t working because they don’t throw rubbish in the bin, they don’t put things back in place, they leave a mess everywhere they go and I am at my wits end.

Do I need to have more grace? Do I need to close the door and they will have to accept the consequences of not being able to find their fecking chargers because they can’t remember where they left them? I honestly am so fucking done asking them to tidy rooms that still look like shite post tidy.

My two are a nightmare, 7 & 10. I regularly declutter with them, literally filling boxes and putting each and every item in front of them for a keep/rid and finding homes for everything but it comes back..

New year I'm hoping a daily 10 min today will help, but they need specific instructions still - clear that bag and put the contents away etc.

Tidying was always angry when I was growing up. Parents would ignore until they couldn't bear it, then finally snap, and there would be shouting and guilt/shame and finally angry chucking stuff into cupboards (or under the bed!)

I try really hard to make tidying a neutral, or even positive experience for my kids (OK, it's not often actually positive! But still, pretty much everyone enjoys a clean room). I still have to tidy "with" mine, although these days I largely sit in their room chatting, and maybe wiping surfaces, whilst they do the majority of the work. At first, these roles were almost entirely reversed.