How to enjoy life and do more

[Peachyblush2025]

I find one of my friends really inspiring. She’s not completely perfectly put together but when I visit her she just seems to achieve and do so much and I’m looking for tips on how I can be more like that? I could ask her but I think she might find it strange and also say she doesn’t really know.

I think I really love visiting her because it’s so different to my mum and how I grew up. My mum would frequently do one chore for example and say her work for the day was done; she couldn’t possibly do or be expected to do any more that day. And everything was always met with a no rather than a yes.

my friend on the other hand takes a lot of joy in everything even when most people would be exhausted or not bothered. She would think nothing of suddenly making cookies at 4pm, trying out new recipes, making clothes. She works and has kids.

I think I’m not explaining myself very well but what I want to know is how do you do a lot in a day and just enjoy life? Maybe that’s too vague.

I don’t even have kids but I seem to achieve my one task of having coffee and journalling in the morning which I enjoy and then the rest of the day I just seem to waste probably on my phone and social media. I guess I’ve partly answered my question but I just also wonder if there’s something I’m missing.

I’m afraid I don’t have much to add, but I’d love to see the replies to your question. I have a friend like that too - I’m constantly amazed by how much she achieves (not just career-wise - she’s active and does beautiful art, too). Whereas I feel worn out constantly, and just getting through the daily grind of work and kids (I love them, but getting them where they need to be, fed and presentable, all the time is a grind) leaves me with little energy to do anything other than lie down and scroll once they’re in bed.

I'm not sure it's anything that can be taught or learned. I think these things are down to natural personality types or the type of childhood brain shaping experiences of some people.

For what it's worth I'm not like your friend but wish I was and have many people in my life that I see this type of nature and feel astounded by how much they can do and still feel perky. I think mental health is one big factor of it.

Intrigued also! One of the people I do know who is like this did have ADHD as a child and needed medication for this, so no idea if her higher energy levels help. She also spends very little time online or reading etc.

The other who seems to do so much does work f/t, has one DS. She gets up very early and it's go go go. Not sure when they get any down time or rest which I think for most of us we need. Maybe they don't.

I have a friend a bit like this, always needing to be on the go and doing and creating, especially for the kids.

For her it actually stems from poor mental health and the worry that people would judge her for doing less.

But I am so glad you have asked this as I often look at one friend and feel like I do too little with my kids as we're not always doing something!

I don't think it would be weird if you asked her. People are different and have different energy levels and it takes different levels of energy to do different things. I exercise a lot and probably "do" a lot and that's fine for me but I find it draining to socialise more than a few days.

You could become a "yes" person and say yes to invitations and suggestions, try more things.

Are you asking what you'd actually do or how to do fit it in and find the energy?

I think the answer to your question is right at the end. Ditch the sm and scrolling I know rgat sounds glib but I genuinely think that’s the reason.

Yes, sometimes there is much more below the surface.

And of course, some people are just like this. It doesn't really matter which it is in your situation though, because you should aspire to be just like yourself, not anyone else.

Interestingly - it might just be perception. I feel like this - especially in relation to my decluttered, messy house, but so many people say it's amazing how much I do with my kids. I see it as throwing money at things and failing in the basics and living in perpetual chaos.
I'm going to try creating new habits for the new year, starting small and building up rather than go 0-60 way.

I know a couple of people like this and I know for sure that they are not scrolling as much as I am.
They're definitely more organised with housework and planning events.
If I meet up with them, they need an itinerary of what we're doing at what time. My life isn't that structured so I'm usually a bit vague, and then they're happy plan. Fine by me too and I always have a good time.
I feel plans keep them going.

Tasks/activities stretch to fill the time available. So fill your day and you'll find you don't have time for scrolling and then you'll realise you don't miss it. Start slowly - arrange something new once per week then introduce a second weekly thing. I started three new hobbies in the same week, having had thoughts like yours. I ditched one of them after 2 weeks but kept the other two going and they're the highlight of my week now.

I think you have been having those thoughts. So for example of you wanted to make biscuits at 4pm. Just stand up and start making them. If some one asks you to do something, join in. You have made the decision and now you can join in with any thing you would enjoy and ignore the things you wouldn't like to do. Hope you have a great 2025.

I envy these people too. I think they have more energy and focus than many of us. But I also think we can increase our levels of both of these.

My energy improves a lot when I remember to take iron, Vits B, C and D, drink lots of water and take plenty of fairly strenuous exercise (different for everyone but I worked out that 3 intensive workouts plus one yoga flow and a few walks each week massively helped.

And try something new everyday. Just do one thing you've not done before. That's how you end up making cookies at 4pm or going out on a wintery night to an event on your own. Just develop some curiosity about the wider world and don't worry too much if it isn't right for you - it can be a one-off.

I used to be like that. I would say it’s mainly energy levels. Levels of fitness. Mental health. When all these things were good there was no stopping me. Having a full time job and family meant that I had to keep all the balls in the air.
im retired now and find dealing with an excess of time much harder than too little.

This is a really good post. I used to think I was so useless - house always chaotic when dc were small, but others told us we did so much together - always out and about as a family or playing at home. It's easy to notice what you don't do. But try making a list of what you do accomplish everyday - even small things, from sticking on a wash load to feeding the birds or making soup. It adds up. And those lists of what you did are quite incentivising. I find they lead me to want to have more to add to them.

I think outlook on life has much to do with this. Like your friend, I enjoy doing lots in a day and find baking fun including doing an inventory to check ingredients etc. I enjoy that but know many wouldn’t. I also enjoying dog walks, hosting etc. my DP on the other hand would see those things as just another job to complete so he doesn’t view them as leisure activities.

Interesting post OP, I'm intrigued to know how people do this. Some days I get lots done, other days I don't know what I've done all day, time has just passed. I think possibly doing more actually makes you feel like there's more time. I've got a bit lazy now my kids are older and sometimes things I would have done fast now just expand to fit the time I have. I'm going to try to change this too for the new year.

I was a lot like this before having my second child - and I’m already looking into how to get that “busy” side of me back - but it’s not necessarily about wanting to be busy - it’s about wanting to do other things.

I have a daughter and a lot of my motivation was either getting us out of the house to prevent boredom. We’d either go on a random trip to a public place like a gallery or library - pick up a random treat on the way. If we are staying in and I’ve noticed that our “happiness” levels are low or “extreme boredom” is high then we will bake something (she’s a teen now and uses TikTok to find recipes and we will cook them together) or do some craft, learn a new skill or something

I also do clubs - hobby clubs and I find through those you tend to meet other “go getters” who might invite you to places. I used to say yes to all opportunities and work it out later.

I do think scrolling endlessly does lead one to live less. I’ve had days I would spend 5 hours and the day would be gone! I also got involved in work stuff in the past which expanded what I did - depending on your company we had stuff like coding clubs and could offer to organise staff related events (some were external or tan by company staff outside work).

The answer really is just putting the phone down and doing something different and then doing more of what feels nice:

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I would imagine that your friend doesn't see making cookies at 4pm, making clothes or trying out a new recipe as a chore. But you do, and that's the difference. She probably sees things like that as a hobby, or leisure activity. They give her pleasure, a sense of achievement, distraction from day to day worrying etc.

It's a mindset thing. If you view doing the thing as a chore, you need motivation and energy to get through it. But if, like your friend, you think that doing the thing is the reward in and of itself, you'd feel 'less than' if you didn't do it.

I used to be a one thing a day person, and was very precious about what I was able to do. I think it was mostly anxiety that caused me to feel like that. But I've found in the past 5 or 10 years, that the more I do in a day, the more things I feel capable of handing and it's improved my self esteem/confidence and happiness to have the shift in mindset towards what I imagine your friend has innately.

@Peachyblush2025
I don’t even have kids but I seem to achieve my one task of having coffee and journalling in the morning which I enjoy and then the rest of the day I just seem to waste probably on my phone and social media.

Do you have lots of things you want to do but you can't seem to focus enough to get them done? Or do you not really know what to do with yourself?

I get a lot done generally and I would say just make a list, figure out what order of activities makes sense, and just get on with it. And stay off your phone!

I am like this. I hate to sit still, or if I do I need to be doing something- reading, planning, Duolingo, Scrabble. I often get comments from people that it exhausts them watching me/reading about what I do.

On Boxing Day, we were at ILs & after a walk for a couple of hours in the morning, all we did was sit & watch TV (football which I hate) for 6+ hours. Everyone else said it was their perfect day, I hated it. Had to get out halfway through! So I don't think I'm normal. I would guess I have ADHD.

I do think it's innate, but I also make myself do things. I want to experience ad much of life as I can & I don't think I'll find most of it on my phone.

I dont know,I used to think like you and envy people so organised .However I was diagnosed with Cancer earlier this year .I sometimes think we are so fixed on being "busy", we ignore things like just enjoying a stroll in the sun,having a nice coffee,listening to the birds and so on. Hopefully at the end of treatment now so will keep this up

Could try limiting your phone use so you get more free time? This is my New Year’s resolution, I’m also trying to change my thinking and think I’ll make the cookies now and then I’ll chill/watch TV later, I can do both things this evening.