How to enjoy life and do more

[Peachyblush2025]

I find one of my friends really inspiring. She’s not completely perfectly put together but when I visit her she just seems to achieve and do so much and I’m looking for tips on how I can be more like that? I could ask her but I think she might find it strange and also say she doesn’t really know.

I think I really love visiting her because it’s so different to my mum and how I grew up. My mum would frequently do one chore for example and say her work for the day was done; she couldn’t possibly do or be expected to do any more that day. And everything was always met with a no rather than a yes.

my friend on the other hand takes a lot of joy in everything even when most people would be exhausted or not bothered. She would think nothing of suddenly making cookies at 4pm, trying out new recipes, making clothes. She works and has kids.

I think I’m not explaining myself very well but what I want to know is how do you do a lot in a day and just enjoy life? Maybe that’s too vague.

I don’t even have kids but I seem to achieve my one task of having coffee and journalling in the morning which I enjoy and then the rest of the day I just seem to waste probably on my phone and social media. I guess I’ve partly answered my question but I just also wonder if there’s something I’m missing.

Excuses excuses… the best way to achieve something is to just get going, every journey starts with the first step etc.

Unless you’re waiting for someone else to do it for you whilst you slump on the sofa?!? 😂😂😂

Oh I’m pretty active now, but after a period of depression where I just vegetated it was very hard to get going again.

My sister is like this. They always seem to have something going on or booked in - cinema, theatre, short break, friends over. She also has four kids and they bring energy to the house.

Me and DH are happy but I work ft, one of my kids has SN and we don't have loads of mutual friends (I have friends and DH has friends but not really mutual ones). Plus we have less money. So I feel we are very boring in comparison!!

My intention words for this year are JOY and ENERGY. I also want to find something to do on a Saturday afternoon so I'm not sitting on my phone all day!!

Could be a touch of ADHD. Some people cannot sit still.

BitOutOfPractice

I think the answer to your question is right at the end. Ditch the sm and scrolling I know rgat sounds glib but I genuinely think that’s the reason.
Definitely this- ditched mn and Fb and instagram the other day and read a book and played board games instead, hadnt realised how much time sm took up!

Some people are just people who cannot sit still and are very happy being constantly busy. Others are happy as can be, feet up, hot drink, watching tv or reading a book or on their phone. If you're happy with your time then you're not wasting it.

Your post has really resonated with me. I over plan and worry about certain things and get far less done as a result. The things I do without thinking (baking is one) I just never fret about and these are the things that get so admired by others, not the things I have agonised over. I'm going to try and think less and do more in the coming year. Hadn't realised this until you spelled it out so clearly here.

Has anyone been inspired to plan anything over the next few weeks by this thread?

Yes I have, not sure what yet but I definitely want to make some plans and start the new year as I’d like it to carry on. I’m hoping to plan one fun thing a month to have things to look forward to and hopefully enjoy when I actually do the thing!

Basically you just do other things you enjoy more than watching TV or being on your phone. I don't see what's hard about it for someone in good health with no kids who works normal hours.

People always ask me how I find time to exercise or cook properly, or write or paint. I find time because I make those things a priority in my life. Yes, there were times when I couldn't do as much, with work and kids etc but if my work was so busy that I didn't have a balance, then at some point something would have to give. I've had jobs that made me ill that were a means to an end but not for a long period of time.

And I still have loads of down time faffing about on my phone as I need that too. I do watch TV but perhaps not the hours and hours of US box sets that some people watch.

I know what you mean, I think I'm guilty of never really living in the moment and it saps the joy out of life a bit. I had a similar upbringing with the parents always saying 'no' thing or needlessly catastrophising situations. It is really hard to break out of that way of thinking, and I still catch myself starting to make bullshit excuses why I can't do something.

My husband isn't really a 'doer' either and spends a lot of his days off catching up on sleep or scrolling. My goal for 2025 is to find a new hobby or something which gets me meeting new people as my life currently feels so small and quite empty.

same here exactly 👍 maybe we should set up a thread for encouragement?

I don't use social media and when I do sit down I might watch some telly then get bored so I end up getting up and getting stuff done you feel much better after.

The best piece of time management advice I've ever had (in a professional context but applies to the rest of life as well) is to have just three things on your "to do" list for that day.

It feels manageable, you get on and do them, and you feel like you've achieved something...for such a very simple technique I find it astonishingly helpful.

OP, I noticed you said your diet is poor. This may sound strange but can I suggest you trying having an egg for breakfast every morning? I do this and it gives me so much more energy and means I am more likely to eat well later in the day too.

I fully understand what you mean. My SIL is like this, everything is so much fun when you’re with her because she throws herself into everything 100%. She has endless energy because she has a demanding job and 3 kids, but everything is done. Home cooked meals, school bags done every night. Nothings too much of a chore. I think she does look after her health very well and this helps with the energy, regular exercise and eating well.