Autistic child Christmas

[Shooowop]

Solidarity to those dealing with the needs of an autistic / special needs child today, as we know the sensory challenges and general excitement of the day can cause a lot of deregulation and challenging behaviour (my own is non verbal so makes it more difficult to explain what’s going on)

I'm sat having a cuppa alone savouring the last few minutes before everyone wakes. We go very low key and calm, presents not wrapped and staggered throughout the week so shouldn’t be too chaotic (famous last words), for us it’s more the meal that’s challenging and also staying inside (our usual places to go being closed etc)

And just so you know you’re not alone, not everyone’s Christmas looks like it does on social media or the telly.

I hope we all have some peace and some joy as much as possible 🎄 💪🏻

@MarchingInto2025 yes definitely! I’d gladly eat a plate of Yorkshires right now and skip the rest haha!

I think for a lot of us that were parented very very strictly (one of my parents had extreme OCD so although not their fault everything was very controlled and had to be done in certain ways) the not knowing what every day will turn out like is very unnerving. I agree I used to think parenting like that was me not ‘winning’- but what do we gain becoming poorly from being so stressed forcing a child to eat something they don’t want to and won’t even enjoy? Nobody wins.

it must be very difficult balancing the ND and NT needs together, you have my sympathy, they are both very lucky to have you x

oh and the weighted blanket, let me know how that goes down? I’ve been thinking about one for my DC!

Love this thread. Hope you all have a wonderful day whatever it looks like in your home.

DD (11) had Christmas Eve planned but then her uncle turned up unexpectedly and this completely ruined her day and she stayed in her room all day. She went to bed at 6 (unheard of) but then woke up at 8 and stayed awake, desperately trying to get back to sleep all night. I went to bed at 1, having suggested she put her stocking downstairs so FC wouldn't wake her up if she did sleep. She went and got her stocking (with permission) at 2am, woke me at 3 to show me everything, then woke us all at 5 for tree presents. I think she is asleep now but I haven't dared to check....
Today we eat at my mum's and luckily DD loves most bits of a roast. Then we all come back to our house and she can just chill upstairs.
Wishing you all a merry Christmas 🎄

ds (15)knew he was getting an Xbox so came down found that and then disappeared to set it up (thankfully pre set up so plug and go!)

he then asked me to categorise his presents under the tree so he could find the teddies. The rest will be opened at some point in the coming weeks!

he has been watching gruffallo on repeat this week so I’m expecting that to feature a lot. I may try to introduce tiddler when it’s on this afternoon but we will judge his mood!

We are lucky our ds 3 enjoys presents but it's very much business as usual here. We don't visit anyone and no visitors to our home today. He'll eat his usual foods and we are watching TV. He's sick so won't go out today but tbh he prefers it that way and so do I as he'll be upset the shops are closed 🤣

After breastfeeding for 3 and a half years, I could tie them in a bow. 😂

DD(10) has just asked to go to school 🤣.

There are 3 autistic people in this house. One aged 8 at special school and only starting to be verbal, one aged 10 at a mainstream school who struggles mostly with overwhelm, transitions and social interactions. And me, who struggles with all kinds of socialising (even with family) changes to routine, celebrations of any kind and PDA to the max.

Christmas is quiet. Same food. Similar routine for children and almost exactly the same routine for me. I don't get presents as I hate them. 8 year old doesn't care about them and 10 year old really does. Hard to find a balance.

God I hate it all. Have done all my life. It's the first year this year where we have no family coming over and the relief is amazing. I'm supposed to be making a basic roast for me and wife but am struggling so hard with this. I just don't want to.

Work tomorrow. Thank fuck. I volunteered to work Xmas this year but didn't get chosen. I'm a nurse and plan to do bank or agency if I don't get the 25th in 2025.

I bloody love this. 🤣🥰

We've had a quiet morning here. In that presents have been opened.

Dealing with ND DH too! He's adamant we all go on a walk, obvs for my demand avoidant DD that's a struggle! So trying to manage them all!

In the meantime I have my own and possibly currently waiting for an assessment for ADHD. Considering the RTC route!

I’ve found my people! Merry Christmas all!

I feel like this is the year we’ve finally nailed it (just in time to hit the pre-pubescent years and it all to go tits up 😂)

Lots of Lego for him to hyperfocus on all day, interspersed with games on the switch when it gets tricky. Lunch is always a picnic on the floor - pizza, turkey, rolls, and snacks. He has requested a yule log for pudding and a Yule log he shall get!

DS6 is autistic and non verbal. He's done surprisingly well this morning. Took it upon himself to hand out gifts from under the tree to everyone. He did some colouring with DD3 for a bit with their new art kit and has now taken himself off into the dining room to play with his toys.

We're having a slow day, turkey & pigs in blankets are in the oven, DP & DD are snuggled on the sofa watching The Grinch, DS will be happy playing with his toys until we eat. Hopefully he will eat some Christmas dinner but if not we have chicken nuggets on standby

Merry Christmas!!! We're all having an introverted breather after having done the handful of predictable, chosen in advance and checked on last night, unwrapped presents. No visitors! Here's to a peaceful one xx

Mine has survived gift opening, which he wanted to do with us all despite the overwhelm, and is now upstairs on his own building a new Lego set. His happy place. I’ll just let him have whatever space he needs either side of food now. He’ll pop down for hugs and to help a bit here and there.

Thanks for this. My son has no concept of Christmas. He eats the same food. Does the same things. Has zero interest in presents. But we try to see it as a nice day and me and DH enjoy being together and pottering on.

Hoping you have a smooth day x

Ps stay off social media.

Yes it took us too long to let go of expectations and look at what actually made us happy. Photos of the Beckhams at parties aren't it!

Sounds like my DS's idea of a perfect day!

Mines has mushed every colour of his air dying clay into a big ball and he's walking around with this football sized squeezy thing between lying in the dog bed watching Xmas lights. Sensory seeking heaven apparently. Have unopened presents too but he's managing to stay happy

Thank you lovely OP. DS is 15, DD is 12. She made it downstairs after much screaming and has opened a few presents. He sat silently watching and now has gone back to game online with his friends and sounds happy chatting to them. I would rather he was happy with them than struggling down here to know how to deal with his sister screaming every few seconds..

DH and I are both autistic too so everything can get very overstimulating all round, we just try to have lots of tea breaks and go outside to breathe the fresh air as much as possible 😂

Hope everyone is still coping.

So we still have ds routine exactly same - meals/dressing/activites all happen as normal with an hour slotted in for opening pressies . (He opens his then watches tv while we open ours. )

It makes it easier and gives us some downtime (when he's on his switch)

OP, you sound amazingly. A very Happy Christmas to you and yours. Xx

My son (autistic , non verbal , aged 7) is currently playing with his presents. He took 2 hours to open them and has enjoyed them one by one before opening the next. He gave us a big grin and a hug when he saw that he had a toy cash register with numbered buttons that beep and numbered coins that he can line up , so that was a lovely moment.

He's having nuggets and chips for Xmas Dinner with a bag of pom bear for dessert. His favourite foods. He's happy and relaxed , so we are too.

I hope you all manage to have a good day and that your little ones don't feel too overwhelmed by the experience.

Happy Christmas!

Why the biscuit, 🍪 @NameChange30 ?

Our guests are here, and it's going well!

DS big present was this machine nerf type gun and has spent all morning shooting me, but now we have guests and it's their turn to get blasted 😁

DS is happy, I'm happy, guests are almost certainly not going to overstay their welcome. They have got Christmas dinner at their other side of the families house anyway so won't be staying too long.

I am considering letting the guests use our spare nerf guns to even the odds a bit though and rolling the chairs over for some sort of barricade.