Accepting I am fat

[IDontEvenLikeMincePies]

I am overweight, recently I have been overeating because of stress so am getting fatter. I'm about 3 stone overweight.

Thinking about the fact that I am fat makes me feel like eating more.

My question is how do I accept that I am overweight in a way that makes me motivated to lose weight and doesn't make me want to eat more??

And any comfort eating solutions will also be gratefully received!

Is the continuing to overeat part of a "I'm fat so I don't care if I get fatter"? If so then try to cut down very slightly, if you have been overeating loads then you don't have to go on a major reduced calorie diet to start it going the opposite direction.

And still have treats, but make them good ones, instead of a pack of basic biscuits have something smaller but more tasty, piece of chocolate/fudge, strawberries with squirty cream instead of cake.

What are your go to bingey foods? To be able to suggest alternatives (mine used to be crisp sandwiches so savoury fix needed).

There is definitely a feeling of sod it I'm already fat so I may as well just eat. There is another side to it that feels quite self destructive as well, like I need to eat so much that's it's physically uncomfortable.

Yes if I did start to eat normal amounts I wouldn't feel so bloated and disgusted with myself as well.

My go to foods are sweet, especially chocolate. If there is something in the house I will eat it all. I've got no will power when I am like this

I think this is the wrong time of year to be beating yourself up for overeating - not that you should be beating yourself up at any other time of year! But these next few days especially can be fraught with worry, stress, overstimulation, family history bubbling under the surface, etc. Not the time of year to chuck out your go-to coping mechanisms imo.

Maybe just try to do something good for yourself, like drink more water, or get to bed at a decent time each night. Look after yourself, show compassion to yourself. You deserve it.

Yes very true, I'm not going to even think about what I'm eating for the next few days 😂

I think I should come back in January 🙂

Have you tried "The Easy Way to Quit Emotional Eating" by Allen Carr? You can find it as an audiobook on Audible if you don't fancy reading it. I really recommend giving it a go :)

Thank you. I will have a look 🙂

Could you just say, I don't want to get fatter, I want to get fitter, stronger, healthier.
Take each day as it comes. Obviously eat what you like on Xmas day! But just try and see your body as a machine that needs fuel. And healthy fuel will give you more energy.

Get a horse. Or a dog. I lost a stone and a half in the first few months of taking riding lessons then another stone when I finally got a horse on loan and had to chase his stupid arse across the field 3 times a week. He has also been a very unfortunate influence on my beautifully behaved dog and taught her to roll in shit then run away. Arseholes the pair of them.

You will need support to lose weight. And as PP have said, not over Christmas.
Come the New Year, chuck out ALL junk food. If it’s not there you can’t eat it. Join a slimming group and find an exercise buddy. You can do this.

@Nextyearhopes I think support would be a good idea, I'll have to see what's available around here

@Balloonhearts A dog or horse are out of the question but it has made me remember how much I like being outside so maybe I could plan more walks.

@BobbyBiscuits yes, I think I need a shift in my thinking about food. In the new year maybe

I think small goals and rewards at each stage- ie. If the aim is to go from a size 20 to 14- buy yourself an outfit to feel good when you reach a size 18.

This is an excellent idea.
I knew a lady who had a charm bracelet and bought one charm for each 1/2 stone lost.
Whatever it is, make it something special for you.

I second a poster above who mentioned shifting the framing of your issue. Instead of thinking about how fat or not you are, start to think about health.
Could you walk a little more? Do some cardio? Drink more water? Eat a bit less? Get stronger? Is there a hobby you could take up to look after yourself? Is there a way to channel your coping strategies into something positive?

maybe concentrate on taking small steps to being happier rather than thinner, good luck

Small plates have been my saviour. Cannot fit a large portion on a small plate.

As a former morbidly obese person who is now plain old obese and awaiting bariatric surgery I would warn against the fuck it attitude. This is what happened to me and I quickly moved from being uncomfortable to disabled by the weight I was carrying. At 3 stone overweight you are in a prime position to do something about it. For me the weekly accountability of a weigh in with a slimming group helped keep me in on a downward path. Use all the usual tricks...smaller plates, daily walks, reduce UPFs and cook from scratch. Trust me if you feel bad now, when you're 4, 5 or 6 stone overweight, it will seem unsurmountable.

Don't buy junk cos you know you're only going to eat it! I swear by this. Get sugar free versions ie cocoa powder rather than hot chocolate, montezuma 100% dark choc instead of cadburys (mix with sugar free muesli if too bitter) - or get healthier versions, have a few dates with some nuts or a few dried apricots if you want something sweet. It will take a bit of time to adjust but then you will start to notice how cloyingly sweet a lot of things are.

This also tricks you into thinking your having more because you have a full plate rather than a half empty one.

I accepted it when I saw a video of myself last year. I started mounjaro in April and Ive lost 4.5 stone and got my target weight, my life is so much better and I will never, ever let myself be that way again.
I'm not saying you should start mounjaro btw, not a decision to be taken lightly, but a slimmer life for me has been so much happier and healthier.

In the new year when all the festive food is out of the way why don't you watch some weighloss Joey way on YouTube and get some inspiration from others where you see what they looked like at the beginning and the end.

Just ordinary people like you who decided they would get healthy and how they achieved it.

Thank you everyone for your ideas, I feel more motivated and have lots to think about.

@charabang that's really made me think, I've already noticed that I can't walk as fast now and it's hard work. I think it's make or break time

Small goals also a good idea, I'm trying to think what I would reward myself with, maybe a weekend away?

Lots of other things I can do, I am going to make a plan and start in the new year 😊

@Balloonhearts Getting a horse might a bit to large of a financial commitment. Even in the name of health! My cousin has one and it costs a grand a month and to actually buy one is more than a brand new car! I guess volunteering in a stables, or walking your mates dogs? Getting out in nature and exercising gently is a good plan though.

Yes I work for my lessons, could never afford it otherwise. Part loan from the school is surprisingly affordable only a couple of hundred a month.

Add things rather than take them away.
Drink more water, eat more fruit and vegetables, take vitamin D and a good multivitamin.

Maybe you need to acknowledge yes you're fat but you don't have to always be fat.
Also buy fancy treats- very expensive hand made artisan chocolates instead of a tub of quality street. Stuff like that lasts me a lot longer whereas the cheap crap feels disposable and easy to gorge on.

@Balloonhearts ah ha, that sounds a bit more reasonable. Good to know there's a slightly more cost friendly way to enjoy horses. I'm actually a bit scared of them myself sadly! Not sure why but I'm pretty allergic. They're beautiful animals. I wish I could ride etc.