Accepting I am fat

[IDontEvenLikeMincePies]

I am overweight, recently I have been overeating because of stress so am getting fatter. I'm about 3 stone overweight.

Thinking about the fact that I am fat makes me feel like eating more.

My question is how do I accept that I am overweight in a way that makes me motivated to lose weight and doesn't make me want to eat more??

And any comfort eating solutions will also be gratefully received!

I'm just joining in solidarity! I tried Mountjaro after all the MN threads but it gave me horrendous side effects and I stopped after 5 weeks. I'm trying to be more mindful of what I eat over Christmas. I really like the charm bracelet idea as I've been planning to get one anyway.

I'm not saying you have. My point is that you can accept yourself without accepting that obesity and comfort-eating is all you have to look forward to.

I was in the OP's position for many years. Could not see a way out of the vicious cycle, society's prejudices and my own lack of self-worth that was both result and cause.

I ended up sponsoring myself to lose weight: for every lb I lost, I put £5 in a kitty to donate to an organisation that cooked good meals for homeless people, and sat down with their guests to socialise over food. That was my starting motivation. When I found it difficult at first, I reminded myself that I'm feeding people. Along the way I was supported by people who could not see me to judge (ie Mumsnetters) and I had a course of CBT to treat my depression. Eventually I found that I didn't need that reminder. I had discovered that I was worth investing in, that my beauty was more than my weight, that I am OK. It really is a powerful statement. I am OK.

I lost 5 stone.

Yes, my weight fluctuates. Yes, I generally put a stone back every few years. But I don't berate myself. Fat or lean, I'm OK. I'll just focus on looking after myself in another way for a few months and return to my healthy weight. No judgement, no self-despite, no punitive restrictions (I still eat things I enjoy). I'm healthier and more comfortable when I'm leaner. But, either way, I'm OK.

I suspect you read something into the posters post that wasn’t there, as I am also slightly bemused at you thinking she’s punishing herself or that’s all she’s got to look forward to. She literally just said she saw how hard it was, didn’t want that snd took control. So well done her.

@Queenofthejabs thankyou. If people think going to the gym and eating well is punishing themselves we as a society are in big trouble.

My point is. Everyone is worth looking after themselves. You are worth more than crisps etc. my parents think I’m mad that I go to the gym everyday. But when I reach their age I wont struggle like them. Or have heart problems. That I see as taking care of future me. I wish everyone could see that and realise they are so very much worth the effort.

'You' = the generic you. Not you the specific poster. I think at one point I made the effort to say 'one', so that the OP didn't feel that I was pointing a finger at her or telling her what she thinks.

The OP is clearly bothered by her unhelpful eating habits. It is incredibly common for comfort eaters and compulsive eaters to feel embarrassed or guilty about their eating habits. Therefore they often punish themselves passively or actively.

I'm not saying that Andtheworldwentwhite feels or behaves in this way. She said I am different in a I will not and didn’t accept it. I understood her to be saying that she did not accept that she's fat and there's an end to it (and always will be, should love herself as a fat person and not feel the need to change that). I'm talking about a different sort of acceptance.

I'm saying that the first step for someone distressed by their eating habits is to accept that they are who they are, and that they can make more changes through loving themselves than through hating themselves.