Accepting I am fat

[IDontEvenLikeMincePies]

I am overweight, recently I have been overeating because of stress so am getting fatter. I'm about 3 stone overweight.

Thinking about the fact that I am fat makes me feel like eating more.

My question is how do I accept that I am overweight in a way that makes me motivated to lose weight and doesn't make me want to eat more??

And any comfort eating solutions will also be gratefully received!

@IDontEvenLikeMincePies I read something about the "fuck it" attitude a few years ago which has stayed with me.

If you've eaten a couple of biscuits/half a huge bag of crisps/ a slice of cake or whatever and thinking "fuck it, I've broken my diet so I might as well eat the whole packet" , think of it like sunburn.

You're lying on a beach and you start to go red. Do you think "fuck it, I'm.a bit burnt so I might as well stay out here and get completely burnt" or do you move into the shade?

Good luck with the weight loss

@RabbitsEatPancakes hmm I have been seeing it in a black /white way. Of course it doesn't mean I'll always be fat. Actually I've had a really rubbish year with lots of crap happening which has made me stressed but that won't last forever and I can change

@ILoveAnnaQuay I like that, I need to get my head around that idea so I can stop the fuck it attitude, thank you

@IDontEvenLikeMincePies
Two years ago I was in a similar situation. Overweight, stressed and eating to make myself feel better. When the stress got so bad I started getting chest pains I knew I had to do something about it.

I joined the gym, started doing spin and strength training and it made me feel incredible, helped so much with the stress and it naturally made me want to eat better and I lost almost 5 stone in 18 months!

Perhaps there’s some kind of movement you think you’d enjoy that’d help kickstart a new you? Good luck!

Some things I have found very helpful:

No dieting in January. It's a grim time, grey weather, not nice outdoors, loads of goodies still around. No, diet in the spring, when everything feels far more cheerful and optimistic.

Enjoy your food. Slow down, focus, appreciate it. Eat things that please you. Eating them slowly makes it easier to stop. Until you have chosen what way of eating you want to use, don't worry if you eat calorific foods. Just ensure you eat plenty of healthy, filling foods.

If you're hungry outside mealtime, have a hot drink. If you're still hungry, have a snack. If you're still hungry - you weren't hungry for food. What is it you are hungry for? Affection? Fresh air? Are you bored?

Often when one chooses not to eat something, or to eat only one piece instead of everything, one can feel deprived, or angry at one's 'greed'. Instead, try telling yourself "I'm looking after myself" and "I'll have some later, if I fancy it." No guilt, no self-bashing. You're OK.

You're OK.

I go to the gym, along with intermittent fasting, small plates and low carbing.
Together they've really helped me to lose weight. Good luck.

There was a comedian who said ‘I’m not finished eating until I hate myself’. It really resonated with me because that has been me so many times. The only thing that has truly worked for me are weight loss injections.

For me it was looking at photos. Especially my wedding pictures where I look nice but could have looked better, refusing to go up to the next size and not looking nice in clothes. Also feeling lethargic and generally unfit.

I'm 2 stone over weight and I found that a weight in with slimming world sorted me our. The shame of potentially not losing weight each week, spurred me on.

You are an emotional eater and you sadly must have something that is spurring that on. I hope you manage to find what it is.

Lose weight because you are wonderful and deserve to feel your best! No guilt or shame, just looking after yourself.

When I finally realised I was very fat – nearly three stone heavier than the weight I had been all my life until I started taking antidepressants and the pounds crept on and stayed on – I made some decisions about how to deal with it.

I bought some nicer clothes as I'd been squeezing into old stuff or wearing baggy tees and drawstring trousers.

I knew dieting didn't suit me. It triggers bingeing and also makes me feel very weak and dizzy. So I decided to focus on building up intensive exercise and eating healthily. I lost a stone in 6 months. I've plateaued since at just 1st 2lbs under my top weight, But for various reasons the intensive exercise stopped and I need to get it back.

My advice is - take excellent care of your body whatever size it is. Dress well, exercise, eat healthy food in reasonable portions. Try not to let being fat hold you back. I can't lie - there have been a few occasions when I just can't summon the confidence to join skinny friends when they go wild swimming or on holidays when I know they will talk about weight and size too much. I have made excuses. But most of the time, it's fine. I climb mountains, and hike and swim and weight train. Learning to like your body for what it does for you - for its strength and stamina rather than its looks helped me a lot.

I have a bit of fear about going to the gym, I know that's silly but I feel like I would make a fool of myself but at the same time I have little motivation to exercise at home, I know I won't keep it up.

Saying that I do love walking so maybe I will do more if it and a few hills.

@Redwineandsunshine I never thought about exercise helping with stress, another good reason to do it

@Aparecium I'm embarrassed to say that I often eat standing in the kitchen, I'm definitely not eating slowly and enjoying my food

@TwilightCat sadly that is how I feel, it's called comfort eating but it doesn't actually make me feel better, it's more of a compulsion, I don't even enjoy it

The first step is to forgive yourself.

When you get angry at yourself for comfort eating you enter a vicious cycle - because you then self-soothe by comfort eating.

Don't apologise to anybody for being yourself. Forgive yourself and love yourself. You're OK.

I was in a similar position for the last couple of years. I had put just over a stone on. I was miserable but also stressed, tired and in fuck it mode. I read Ultra Processed People in the summer, had a break from work and was well rested and less stressed, then I felt ready to tackle the issue. I joined Nutracheck which cost money, and made me become accountable. I've lost 19lbs. I have to remember I have type 2 diabetes on one side of my family, and high cholesterol on the other and I need to take care of myself. No one else will do it. I needed to deal with why I was over eating first though.

Ask a child. Their brutal honesty will spur you on!

Women will say you're beautiful and that they wish they had your body, that's just the way women are built. Men will say whatever they think you want to hear to get you into bed. Children... Well, you'll be motivated after asking a child!

I don't think my skin is thick enough for that level of brutality 😂

@DelilahBucket After the holidays things will settle down and change which will mean I'll be less stressed so it's a good time to start tackling my health. Well done for your weight loss

@Aparecium I have been spiralling, I think this thread has actually helped me to take a step back and hopefully break the cycle

Find what motivates you to exercise. (And yes, I know it ultimately comes down to what you eat, but exercise just makes you feel better, which then has amazing knock on effects.)

Maybe wear a Fitbit and increase steps (very satisfying.) That’s the easiest way to start. A two hour stroll around the shops counts! I get to the gym before work because I know full well I won’t be able to do it after. And I pay out a fair bit of money for the gym I belong to…another motivator.

And water. 2 litres a day. It does numb the cravings, it really does.

Bit stunned someone said buy a horse, it’s like a parallel universe on here sometimes, who gets a horse as they need to lose weight. Wtaf.

Op, lots of good suggestions, past the get a horse one obvs, but could you think on it this way, “I’m fat, but if I eat x y or z I’m going to get even fatter”,

because it’s not just acknowledging you’re fat, but accepting the more you over eat the fatter you will get. You don’t just stay as fat as you are now. You get even fatter.

Mounjaro. You'll never look back.

There is so much conflicting advice and even disagreement about what eating healthily even means, that it's very easy to do things which are not helpful with the very best intention. My ah-ha moment came with https://www.eatinglessonline.com and the revolutionary idea to choose what to eat according to how I would feel afterwards.

Lots of things that we think are treats are really nothing if the diet and we actually feel much better when we don't 'indulge'.

Treating ourselves well by eating well sets up a positive spiral of reinforcement which makes things like a gentle walk rather than munching monotonously much more appealing. Find out what your body really wants to eat by seeing how you feel after you have eaten it. If it sets you up for indigestion and that bloated feeling, then it's really nothing much of a treat, is it?

I am different in a I will not and didn’t accept it.

one day I looked at my mum and dad. Both overweight and struggling to move now they are in their 80’s and decided I didn’t want to be that way. I don’t want the risk of heart problems , leg problems etc. so I changed it. Joined the gym. Changed the way I eat. I feel so much better for it.
I didn’t want to have to have an ambulance and fire engine people come to help get me up when I fell. Which is what we have had to do.
my gym is expensive and I’m not wasting all that time and money and still eating rubbish. I am worth more than that.

when ur overweight when ur younger you can cope. But I have seen the effect first hand what happens when ur overweight when ur older. And it wasn’t something I wanted to go through. You are worth so much more than giving up.

Do something today that your future self will Thankyou for. This is my daily motto and I have it as a screen saver for my phone. And I read it everyday.

Blunt, like mine. They would bury their faces in my belly and declare "I love your wobbly tummy, mummy!"

Uncritical, unconditional love!

You don't have to accept it, @Andtheworldwentwhite. But you don't have to punish yourself for it, either. The best way to do anything about it is with the positive attitude that you are worth the effort.

I had a bit of a medical scare. Sky high blood pressure, that and realising the I was 55 and needed to get fit for retirement.something clicked. I started eating more protein and veg. Taking my lunch into work.having breakfast. Cutting down drinking and crisps...my nemesis.

I joined a gym to do weights, I walked more...that was about 12 months ago. I'm so much fitter, dropped a dress size nd a stone and a half. Still got a stone to go but it feels achievable now.

I think eating better was a great start for me.

@Aparecium i haven’t punished myself? I am looking after myself. I’m doing the best I can for me.