Boss punched the table & shouted at me.

[Walkingwithdinosaurs]

Boss has a favourite employee, said employee (let’s call her Pat) was extremely rude to me so I told her not to speak to me like that. The whole office heard it and of course spoke about it to each other and to me.

Pat then went to the boss (owner) and told what happened and said that I was gossiping about her and making her look bad and that I had hurt her feelings.

It’s all very immature and I’ve never had this kind of behaviour in a work place before. Anyway, boss calls me into the office and goes crazy at me. How dare I upset Pat, he shouted so loudly that everyone in the office heard every word he said to me. He punched the table, wouldn’t let me speak or stand up for myself or explain what actually happened. This lasted about 10 minutes until I walked outside and gathered my thoughts.

Needless to say, I was extremely upset and embarrassed. I sat at my desk and cried.

I honestly don’t know what to do. We don’t have HR because it’s only 4 staff + the boss.

I’ve only been there 2 years and don’t want to leave because I love my job. Any advice much appreciated as I can’t even sleep replaying this back over and over.

Leave, I wouldn't care how much I loved the job.i would plan my exit from this toxic place

1- is your boss called Frank?
2- he is unhinged!!

God that's absolutely awful. Happened to me once and I just walked out and never went back but that was 25 years ago. I really feel for you it's just horrible x

He wouldn't let you leave the room? He is a vile bully and there has to be a reason that he loves pat so much

That’s horrible! Are you going to love the job now? I’m not sure I could continue with a boss like that. Sorry 😔

Start looking for another job. There will be others you like just as much. Once you have some thing new lined up, hand in your notice. No job is worth being treated like that.

How can you possibly love your job and not want to leave after that has happened?

I'd be seeing it in a whole new light.

I wouldn't be going back, not a cat in hells chance!
I would do almost anything for money rather than go back.

If he won't listen write and include names of witnesses . Tell him you didn't speak to anyone about it but they overheard for themselves
Tell him you feel you have been treated unfairly and are very upset and would like to share your side.

Just add I think you have a good case for constructive dismissal.

A boss once did that to me and I walked out and never went back.

Can you afford to leave and look for something else? You deserve to be treated fairly at work, and it sounds like it'll never happen there.

The two people who saw what happened between you and Pat need to set the boss straight, or you leave. There’s no other way this will be resolved.

Not Frank
yes completely unhinged, misogynist and a narcissist!

Yes I can’t understand the attachment to Pat. Although she was the first person he employed so she’s been there 15 years.

He did call the other people in and they backed me but he didn’t believe them either… because Pat would never do that because she’s so amazing!

I work in a very niche role and was lucky that I secured this post, it’s right on my doorstep and the money is good am in my 50s and I dont think I’d have a hope of finding something similar.

You are all 100% right though, I need to leave. I’ve no choice in the matter. Can’t afford to leave so will use the next few weeks to look for something else.

I’d have left his office picked up my stuff and left
absolutely no one speaks to me like that

I’m sorry that happened to you op

Contact ACAS - you've got a good case for constructive dismissal - regardless the size of the company x

I would sleep on it.
No rash decisions.
You said you love the job otherwise and in the absence of a good stash of savings you could be facing 2025 starting off unemployed.
Was this behaviour a one off thing.
Im not excusing it and I got another job at 57 as my last place was dreadful and didn't improve.
It took ages to find something that fitted with my lifestyle.

Leave and don't go back. I'd send an email stating that you are fearing for your personal safety and will not be setting foot back in the place. Utterly disgraceful behaviour. Would this be classed as constructive dismissal? I don't know, I'm guessing. Can you speak to ACAS?

I would look for something else and leave them massively in the shit. How dare he do that to you.

You could, of course, resign. I would hold on, and write to the boss something like the below.

Dear Mr NotFrank

I am writing to record formally the events of [date], which proceeded as follows.

1. Pat was very rude to me, and I challenged this behaviour.
2. Pat reported this to you.
3. You called me into your office. In the subsequent meeting you refused to listen to anything I had to say about the matter, shouted at me, and punched the table.
4. Other staff members were called into the office during this meeting, and when questioned they supported my version of events, but you refused to listen to them.

I am putting the record of this event in writing as I was extremely distressed by your threatening and unprofessional behaviour during the meeting, which was loud enough to be overheard by the rest of the office. I am considering whether this behaviour, combined with your refusal to give me an opportunity to state what actually happened, constitutes constructive dismissal. Please retain a copy of this letter on my personnel file, as whatever my decision now, I shall certainly take formal action in the event that such behaviour is repeated.

Yours etc

If you could also get written statements from other staff about what happened, these can only be helpful. Gird your loins, though - if he is as arrogant a pig as he sounds, he may double down on the behaviour. If he does, THEN is the time to walk out, and to raise an Employment Tribunal.

@wizzywig i think we’ve worked at the same place :)

He's probably shagging Pat or has in the past.

If you came on here and told us your partner had screamed at you and punched the table we'd be telling you this is abuse and to leave immediately.

You could potentially report the incident to the police as it's physical intimidation;punching something in front of someone whilst screaming at them is alluding to the fact the could punch you.You have an office full of witnesses.

No one has the right to yell and scream at you even if it’s at work. Next time just get up and say ‘I’m leaving until you can have a calm and professional conversation’. You will find me at my desk doing my job if you need me.

Take back some power and control. Sitting there taking it and then going back to your desk crying will only make you feel worse in the end. Then send the email in a previous post as suggested.

Do you get paid sick pay? If so I’d go off for as long as possible on it first. Don’t just quit

Enter a formal grievance to pave the way for a constructive dismissal claim. Even if you don't bother to follow through with it, your boss needs to be made to feel uncomfortable about his conduct.