What to do when ds is at nursery?

[nurserysahm]

Ds is going to be starting nursery in late January/early February. He will be doing around 5 hours a day, 2 days a week. The only issue is that it is too far away (I don’t drive and it’s 2 busses plus a short walk) to go home in between dropping him off and picking him up. We have been trying to find him a place for months with no luck (SEN/waiting lists/too expensive ect.) and this one seems like the right fit it’s just annoyingly out of the way.
It is not near anything but I can get a bus to 2 different towns which would take 10-15 minutes each way but with the walk and waiting for the busses it will be about 30-45 minutes each way leaving me with about 3 and a half - 4 hours to fill. There’s a leisure centre, a library and a few shops and cafes in both towns and a park in one of them. I can't afford to be spending loads of money every day though 🙈

Like a story book?

Why do people just say "learn to drive".
Like everyone just has the money hanging around for driving lessons, a car, insurance, petrol.....
If I could drive my life would be massively easier - but I can't afford to 🙁

Do you know how I could find out more about this? I know they do this for school but I can’t find anything for nursery 🤔

I definitely can’t afford it 😂

I'd use one day in the library to get all your life admin done (do an online supermarket shop, make any appointments you need to, catch up on correspondence, order any presents you need/write cards, pay bills, any research you need to do re. your child's SEN or anything else).

If driving would be a help you could swot up on the theory test in the library and get your DP to start you off with lessons. You can make a lot of progress this way and then just have a few lessons when you've already made a good start.

@nurserysahm is there a parent carer group for the area you live in? Try googling. Our local one is very knowledgeable and would know. Otherwise try googling xxx council transport and then emailing them directly to ask.

I don't know what professionals are involved with your son but they should also be able to signpost you or find out for you.

Obviously I don't know what the situation is with your son but at similar age, we had help from portage (play therapy for pre school aged kids), salt, occupational therapy, physiotherapy and had applied for DLA.

It’s sounds like you need to move home, or get a car.

nursery is supposed to provide a) educational opportunity and b) childcare so you can work (paid or in house)

what’s the point in living somewhere where you can’t access amenities or work.

@nurserysahm once you've got an EHCP in place you might be able to get transport provided.
My daughter is at a SEN school and the borough gives us a debit card to pay for Uber (I have to accompany her) as we don't live on any of the minibus routes.
Your boy will probably be too little to travel unaccompanied so they might fund a taxi.
@MumonabikeE5 yeah moving home is just so simple and easy to do 🙄

Oh come on, absolutely no-one moves house because two days a week they have to hang around while their child goes to nursery. Especially when in a couple of years the DC won’t even be at nursery anymore and OP will need to think about school. And the DC hasn’t even started this nursery yet, for all anyone knows it might not work out and he’ll end up at a different nursery by the summer holidays!

I’m amazed so many people think this kind of situation is so ridiculous - to a SEN parent it really doesn’t sound unusual. Hassle and inconvenience is just par for course of SEN parenting in my experience. Some of you should go and read up on SEN parents experiences of the education system instead of ridiculing OP for doing her best for her child and following professional advice as best she can. The criticism should be reserved for the crappy system in place, the lack of support and poor provision, not OP.

I look at the future and wonder if there isn’t a decent accessible nursery will there be a decent accessible school. And so a similar situation will continue.

it might not be right, but don’t we have to try and set up our lives so they work for us?

It sounds as though you've done a lot of research into this and have found one which suits his needs well. What a great mum you are to inconvenience yourself this much as you know it will be the best for him.
It might be worth asking the nursery if there are any other families who live near you. It's unlikely but, even if it was irregular, getting a lift home once a week would make it worth going home for a couple of hours. I know anyone on here who asks for a lift is deemed to be a CF but I dropped a nursery mum home once a week for 2 years as it was 15 mins out of the way for me but completely changed her day. If there's no one going to where you live, they may well be going into the town and able to drop you there.
What did you do before you had your DS, both for work and for hobbies?
Is the nursery part of a school or is there one near by? Could you be a lunchtime assistant or ask if there are any other roles available?

If OP can’t afford driving lessons then she probably can’t afford the costs of moving house too.

Not to mention if she needs an accessible house for her child, they also don’t just grow on trees.

Sounds like OP is simply making the best of it for her child to get him what he needs.

Sorry, I wasn't suggesting you didn't. I just meant maybe in this situation, home pre-schooling would work out best.

OP, ignore those saying “why put him in nursery”, they obviously don’t have a dc with SEN.
My dd went to a nursery a hour away from home, she was referred there by professionals as it was a SEN nursery, she would be there for 4 hours so it wasn’t worth me going home and then turning around a hour later and travelling back.mi used to find places to go for a walk, do my weekly food shop or go sit in a cafe, luckily I can drive. We put dd in nursery so she could address occupational therapy and speech and language therapy on site (getting it through the NHS not on site is a nightmare and pretty non existent), we were also told it would help her social skills (it didn’t).

I would have a look at a pass for the swimming pool, at mine it’s £18 a month. You could even volunteer at a charity shop if there’s one near by?

The poster wasnt offensive. Some posters have taken offence on your behalf and assumed you can’t bear to hear another point of view.

It was along the same lines of my comment regarding a break and mixing ds without all the travelling.

I don’t think nursery makes any difference for children preparing them for school. Mine hated it and very rarely went. School they loved.

Speech therapy though is a whole different reason. You’re doing this for your child and I would also travel miles for mine.

"Move home or get a car"?

The OP has already said she can't afford to go for a cuppa in a café.

And, surprising as it might be, the rural communities do need people to live there.

Once he’s settled in you may be able to volunteer at the nursery, if they have another room.