What to do when ds is at nursery?

[nurserysahm]

Ds is going to be starting nursery in late January/early February. He will be doing around 5 hours a day, 2 days a week. The only issue is that it is too far away (I don’t drive and it’s 2 busses plus a short walk) to go home in between dropping him off and picking him up. We have been trying to find him a place for months with no luck (SEN/waiting lists/too expensive ect.) and this one seems like the right fit it’s just annoyingly out of the way.
It is not near anything but I can get a bus to 2 different towns which would take 10-15 minutes each way but with the walk and waiting for the busses it will be about 30-45 minutes each way leaving me with about 3 and a half - 4 hours to fill. There’s a leisure centre, a library and a few shops and cafes in both towns and a park in one of them. I can't afford to be spending loads of money every day though 🙈

His speech therapist has advised us to as it will be the best thing for his development. We also need to know how he copes in a setting before school which nursery will be able to advise us on and the can also help with the EHCP application.

I would go to the library nearby and sign up for either an online qualification or some kind of remote-working flexible job that could be done within your available time.

Or if money available I would book driving lessons where the instructor collects you from nursery and gives you a 2hr lesson ending at the library so that you can get driving asap because a commute like that by bus isn't going to be at all easy.

I didn’t see what this poster said but I take him to different toddler/preschool classes and stay and plays 5 days a week so he does already do a lot of fun things. It’s not really about having a break either, it’s to see how he is in a setting before school/seeing if he will cope in mainstream and giving him more opportunities to help with his development

I do lots of things with him but his speech therapist has advised that nursery will be the best thing for him

What do you mean? It’s for him not for me

I’d go to the library personally, it’s worth asking what subscriptions they have to things (magazines, family history websites etc) as there might be some good options to pass the time! Volunteering locally is a good idea if you get bored and want to meet others / something for the CV in the long term.

My DS has ASD and a supportive preschool at that age was invaluable for him, and absolutely made the transition to school easier in terms of him following routines and also documenting his challenges from a professional point of view. I’d have sat in a library for a few mornings a week for that too!

I already feel guilty for sending him to nursery when I don’t have to but his speech therapist has said it is the best thing for him so we’re doing it for him

Definitely enjoy the downtime OP!
You deserve it.
What you want to do may change over time.
to start with you may just want to sit mindlessly and do nothing if you’re tired and have been full on parenting.
Over time you may want to swim, exercise class, window shop.
Library could be good - read a book and look at local clubs or activities.
Maybe after a while you may want to move on to volunteering, or house admin in peace in library or from your phone. There may come a point where you have the mental space to actively learn something on a course.
Either way - try and see this time as time for you that’s useful and helpful to give you mental space to relax in some way x

What’s an option? I wasn’t really considering nursery until the speech therapist advised us to and if it doesn’t go well and he doesn’t settle then we would take him back out but we’re just trying to do what is best for him and see how he will cope in school

It’s the only nursery we have found that has space and seems confident that they can meet his needs. We visited many closer nursery’s with no luck 😩

If being able to drive would help you in the longer term, could you get a couple of cleaning jobs fir three hours each and then have an hour of downtime in the library before collecting him. The money earnt would fund it or provide a stash for fun stuff.

Not without a bus ride, no 😞 We will be staying in the office for the first two settling in sessions and then I’m hoping that my partner will be able to move his shifts around for the rest of the settling in sessions so that we can get back quickly in the car if we need to

5 hours 2 days a week will fly by! I would get a membership for the leisure centre if you can afford it (they usually do start of year offers) and go to the library, I hope your child enjoys nursery and you get a chance to do something for yourself!

Thank you for this 💕 Reading some of these replies have made me feel even guiltier about sending him but we’re just trying to do the right thing to give him the best life 😞

I’ll have to have a look at groups for SEN parents that sounds like a great idea!! The forms never end do they? 😭

I was in a similar situation when my DC was recommended for a speech therapy provision at a nursery 30 minutes drive away (it would have been double that on 2 buses). It was only 3 hours a session and I found it tiring doing all the driving if I came home so i preferred to hang around.
I caught up on admin and read in a cafe (but the library is ideal for this)
Invited other parents in the speech provision for coffee - great to get to know them as the children were having similar experiences
Pottered around charity shops and a local garden centre
Walked around for exercise

OP, I would try out the leisure centre and library and see what works for your routine.

I don’t know why I didn’t think of that!! I love doing Photobooks so I could definitely do some of that at the library 😊

A good nursery for sen might be worth it.
As only two days spend the time there library swim gym etc

We’re going to try and do the settling in sessions on his days off and then see if he can get one of the days off so it would only be one day that I would have to fill by himself but there’s no guarantee work will be able to do this so I’m trying to plan for needing to fill both days

And photo books great for childcare with Sen make social stories about their day places people food etc

Use that time to learn to drive!!

Could you take a flask and some snacks with you to avoid the cafe costs. If you have a subject you’d like to study then the library would be a great place for the hours wait plus has toilets.

In some areas, the council will fund "school transport" for Sen kids to get to nursery i.e. a free taxi. I assume you would need an echp first but it is worth being aware of.

Go tot he library and study something. It doesn't have to be formal with a qualification but just things that interest you.

Start a reading journal and work your way through the library books.

Do some planning you don't normally have time for, meal plan, plan a holiday etc.

A combination of exercise (walking/power walking) and going to the library where you can read doe leisure or study with a view to bettering your education etc.

Other options if available nearby -

Volunteer Dog walker in an animal
Rescue.

Volunteer in a charity shop.

Prison visitor.

Help local church such as weeding graves etc.