What to do when ds is at nursery?

[nurserysahm]

Ds is going to be starting nursery in late January/early February. He will be doing around 5 hours a day, 2 days a week. The only issue is that it is too far away (I don’t drive and it’s 2 busses plus a short walk) to go home in between dropping him off and picking him up. We have been trying to find him a place for months with no luck (SEN/waiting lists/too expensive ect.) and this one seems like the right fit it’s just annoyingly out of the way.
It is not near anything but I can get a bus to 2 different towns which would take 10-15 minutes each way but with the walk and waiting for the busses it will be about 30-45 minutes each way leaving me with about 3 and a half - 4 hours to fill. There’s a leisure centre, a library and a few shops and cafes in both towns and a park in one of them. I can't afford to be spending loads of money every day though 🙈

@Itchyclitoris

Or you could stop trying to control what people discuss on a discussion forum.

Or you could just answer the question that's being asked by the OP.

Jeez it was an option. I thought straight away why bother. The library is a great idea but then the op is asking for other ideas so…

You need to stop projecting and dictating how a thread should go. No one has been unkind or randomly rude (apart from you).

Is there nothing at all nearby? Bear in mind that depending on his send, you may have to stagger his starting times or be able to get back reasonably quickly if he is struggling, particularly in the beginning.

Can you get an e-bike and cycle rather than wait around for the bus?

I wouldn’t bother sending him if you can’t go home. I have a 3 year old and I went from working 1.5 hours a day and still sending her two days to then working full time and not being able to have any spare time. I am now reverting back to sending her to a school nursery 3 hours a day and then I will come home and clean or go for the food shop and I may use it to walk and exercise and go and get things done for myself like a facial pamper etc drs appointments etc. but if I couldn’t get home while she was there I wouldn’t send her

Unless you can get a very flexible job in the same town as the nursery, this sounds like it’s going to be hellish, plus you’ll spend a small fortune on cups of tea/food. I don’t think it’s sustainable, sorry.

@nurserysahm my daughter goes to a SEN school that's a 30 -40 minute journey from home. She doesn't always get there for 9 o'clock so on some days it isn't worth me doing the bus journey home to have to turn around and go back to collect her.
Things I do....
Walking. I like to explore the parks and the general area. I find buildings quite interesting and sometimes look up about the history of the area.
Library. To be honest this is often a place to go and charge my phone but obviously there's the choice of reading and studying. If I got my act together I could do an online course. I sometimes take crafts with me. A library is fantastic that you can literally just sit there and do some cross stitch!
Charity Shop mooching. I love charity shops and have various things I collect so I like to go and have a rummage.
Things I always say I am going to do but never get around to it....
Swimming. Once a week won't be that expensive.
Museums/Art Galleries. I keep saying I am going to visit more.
Sit in park and draw pictures of the wildlife. I have a fantasy of being more artistic than I actually am.
The hours will actually go quite quickly and it's only a couple of days so enjoy your time 🙂

It seems fairly obvious to me that OP is sending him to nursery due to SEN and she feels it is a nursery that is a good fit for him. Enough to inconvenience herself for 2 days a week.

Get the biggest thermal travel mug you can find if you don’t already have one, make it up at home, sit in the library and sip on the coffee. Read, play on your phone and take some time for yourself, OP.

Ok, do you have a SEN child though?

I do, though he was undiagnosed at nursery age. I was a SAHM who did plenty with him and nevertheless I put him in nursery (at some inconvenience to myself) because it was important to get him “in the system”. I knew he’d struggle with school and I wanted him to have a soft start in a more nurturing environment than a reception classroom, plus I wanted professionals to be observing and documenting so that we could start the laborious process of getting support in place for him.

Best thing I did for him. It was vital to his success in the early years of school and I’d hang around a library twice a week in a heartbeat for the nurture and learning he got at his nursery, the exposure to situations I couldn’t provide, the friendships with peers and the practice for school. And the paperwork and reports that formed the evidence for his later diagnosis and support plan.

You really can’t say if it would benefit OPs child or not unless you know her situation and her child.

Why is he going to nursery? Perhaps it would be better to spend the time at home with him doing activities . Can you find local mums to meet up with ?

I have a child with SEN and nursery helped her immensely with things I couldn't do at home. Like peer pressure meant she started eating after being tube fed. Who knows what the OP is dealing with.

I would join the leisure centre as other have suggested, join all local FB groups for SEN parents as they will have meet ups in the daytime, go to the library and use their computers to fill out the numerous lengthy forms required from an SEN parents while you have the space to, meet a friend for coffee while you can.

No idea what's being going on on this thread, but this is the answer

There's a library, take snacks and enjoy some downtime. You deserve it.

Oh and I agree with a PP. nursery will help with an EHCP and specialist school place if needed before main school so much better to do that than stay at home

Yes this. Nothing wrong with him going to nursery

OP I also have a child with SEN and can fully understand why you want him to go to nursery. Twice a week is definitely manageable and I would try and frame it in your head as a positive thing. I would honestly have no problem filling the time, one of the days(or both if you can afford to)do a swim/sauna etc, go the library, read, relax on your phone, do any life admin bits that need doing, see if there's anything you've been wanting to do that you haven't got around to(if I was in your position I'd try and get all my photos done into photo books ready for printing when I had the funds), go for walks, window shop, investigate if any clubs/activities in that area that you could join in with. Thats all I can think of for now.

Volunteer at a charity shop in the area?

Do you have a partner who can drop him off in the morning on their way to work? That is what we did in a similar situation so I only had to do the journey there and back once a day.

It might be worth looking into monthly or weekly bus passes so you do have the option to go home in between if you want to.

IME the hardest part about killing that kind of time is weather - keeping warm and dry in the winter or cool in summer. Take a book, download a few podcasts, get some jobs done, meet people for coffee etc. It will go faster than you think.

Well said

going to nursery is good for most children in terms of school readiness but especially if the DS has SEN.

By the time I got home it would be time to set off again so there would be no point 🙈

I can’t afford driving lessons 😩

It’s just not doable at all unfortunately. It would take about an hour and a half each way so by the time I got back it would be time to set off again after waiting for busses and the walks in between them. Maybe half an hour max on good bus days? 🤷‍♀️ I

I could get a monthly leisure centre pass for £25 but it wouldn’t cover going swimming for him but I suppose it would be cheaper in the sense that mine would be paid for so that might be a good idea 😊 I hadn’t really thought about working/volunteering with it being such a short amount of time but it’s definitely worth looking into but I would have to wait a few months to see how he settles first I think 🤔

He doesn’t have to go to nursery but his speech therapist has advised that it will be the best thing for him and his development

I think that is probably what I will end up doing. Go swimming and then read in the library and then maybe in the park once it’s warmer 🤔

It would be half an hour max if any time at all if I went home so it really would be pointless 🤷‍♀️