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Original poster

Rejected from dream job

74 replies

RolyPolyOll · 20/12/2024 18:57

Any tips for getting over this? The most ideal job came up, I genuinely thought I would be a good candidate as I have so much experience (and have actually worked at that company on a project before!) and had an interview earlier this week which I stupidly thought went really well. I answered the questions well, we had great back and forth and I naively thought I did a good job. I then stupidly went down the path of imagining I worked there, thinking of how much fun the job would be and essentially daydreamt I had the role.

Well, back to reality, and I got rejected (so not through to the final round). And I am in bits. I am so so so so upset. I feel deflated. I really want to find a new job and this has knocked my confidence. I should be enjoying the festive period but instead I’m sitting crying! Mentally it took a lot for me to apply (having been on mat leave and having had my DCs) and now I just feel sad.

OP posts:
menohnopausal · 20/12/2024 19:03

Oh that's sucks. It's really painful to imagine a great future path, and for it to be "taken away". The crashing disappointment is so hard.

My version of that is losing out on a one in a million house that would have been my ideal home AND an incredible investment.

All I can say is that time is a healer. I'm sure you'll get the usual well meaning platitudes saying something better will come along. And yeah, maybe. But either way, the pain will lessen

PinkFrogss · 20/12/2024 19:03

Honestly I think the best way to get over it is just to allow yourself to be upset, there’s nothing wrong with being sad or disappointed about something like this.

Hopefully something even better comes up next year and you look back grateful you didn’t get this one Flowers

Original poster
RolyPolyOll · 20/12/2024 19:04

menohnopausal · 20/12/2024 19:03

Oh that's sucks. It's really painful to imagine a great future path, and for it to be "taken away". The crashing disappointment is so hard.

My version of that is losing out on a one in a million house that would have been my ideal home AND an incredible investment.

All I can say is that time is a healer. I'm sure you'll get the usual well meaning platitudes saying something better will come along. And yeah, maybe. But either way, the pain will lessen

I really hope it’s not a “maybe” that something better comes along, that has made me tear up thinking it won’t!

OP posts:

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Original poster
RolyPolyOll · 20/12/2024 19:05

PinkFrogss · 20/12/2024 19:03

Honestly I think the best way to get over it is just to allow yourself to be upset, there’s nothing wrong with being sad or disappointed about something like this.

Hopefully something even better comes up next year and you look back grateful you didn’t get this one Flowers

I really hope so. I just feel so upset and rejected. I should be in a happy mood but this has totally knocked me. Also the rejection was from a generic “no reply” email can I can’t even get feedback.

OP posts:
Blueberriesaretasty · 20/12/2024 19:05

Be upset, feel what you need to feel. Then move on. Do not allow this to define you. Another door may open. Keep moving forward. Good luck.

Original poster
RolyPolyOll · 20/12/2024 19:06

Blueberriesaretasty · 20/12/2024 19:05

Be upset, feel what you need to feel. Then move on. Do not allow this to define you. Another door may open. Keep moving forward. Good luck.

Thank you. I love your username!

OP posts:
Beamur · 20/12/2024 19:09

You got an interview. Which means you were a good candidate..
This time it went to someone else.
It's ok to feel disappointed but chin up. Have a nice Christmas and try again in the New year.

Original poster
RolyPolyOll · 20/12/2024 19:11

Beamur · 20/12/2024 19:09

You got an interview. Which means you were a good candidate..
This time it went to someone else.
It's ok to feel disappointed but chin up. Have a nice Christmas and try again in the New year.

im taking it quite personally that after meeting me they decided I wasn’t a good candidate! I keep going over the interview and I really felt I did well. I am really confused!

OP posts:
SlapTheButcher · 20/12/2024 19:13

I'm so sorry, OP. I've been there too and it really stings when you've built your hopes up and been imagining yourself in the role and you think you had it in the bag. As other posters have said, have a good cry and it will feel better with time.

Job adverts are posted all the time. You never know when something else ideal might come up. Probably sooner than you think.

Not getting a role does not mean you weren't good enough. It just means that they thought someone else was a better fit. Just bad luck. You did really well to get an interview at all, so take heart from that.

Original poster
RolyPolyOll · 20/12/2024 19:15

SlapTheButcher · 20/12/2024 19:13

I'm so sorry, OP. I've been there too and it really stings when you've built your hopes up and been imagining yourself in the role and you think you had it in the bag. As other posters have said, have a good cry and it will feel better with time.

Job adverts are posted all the time. You never know when something else ideal might come up. Probably sooner than you think.

Not getting a role does not mean you weren't good enough. It just means that they thought someone else was a better fit. Just bad luck. You did really well to get an interview at all, so take heart from that.

This really made me smile. I’m taking it just so personally that after speaking to me they rejected me. I guess I’m also nervous to have “put myself out there” after having my children and to get rejected at the first try. Ergh.

OP posts:
menohnopausal · 20/12/2024 19:21

Sorry if I made you feel worse! I was really just speaking from my own irritating experience of people trying to console me when I was in no mood to be consoled!

SlapTheButcher · 20/12/2024 19:24

@RolyPolyOll I'm glad I could make you smile. One day, you'll be in a great job and this will be a distant memory.

I'm sure your interview was great. It's just bad luck that somebody else was in the running who they thought was a better fit. You couldn't have done anything differently by the sounds of it.

Interviewing after maternity leave is really, really hard. I've done it and I remember my first one was abysmal. Be proud of yourself for getting out there.

HerculesMulligan · 20/12/2024 19:26

OP, I'm recruiting at the moment and everyone I see is a "good candidate", and many of them give really good interviews too. I'm making decisions between people based on fairly small details of their experience, their management style, their ambitions and how long they are likely to stay, their communication skills, what additional abilities they can bring to my team that we don't already have and so on. Everyone I'm seeing would be brilliant in a role quite like the one I'm hiring, but perhaps not in my specific role because of factors around who they'd be working with, team dynamics, salary and so on and so on.

It's probably not any reflection on your competence or your ability to interview well - it's just that they only have one role and another person happens to be a slightly better fit than you.

Original poster
RolyPolyOll · 20/12/2024 19:27

SlapTheButcher · 20/12/2024 19:24

@RolyPolyOll I'm glad I could make you smile. One day, you'll be in a great job and this will be a distant memory.

I'm sure your interview was great. It's just bad luck that somebody else was in the running who they thought was a better fit. You couldn't have done anything differently by the sounds of it.

Interviewing after maternity leave is really, really hard. I've done it and I remember my first one was abysmal. Be proud of yourself for getting out there.

This is making me tear up in a happy way! I was up against 15 others in the first round. I need to keep applying but maybe after Xmas as I can’t handle any more rejection!

OP posts:
DutchTeenyPixie · 20/12/2024 19:27

I would definitely try asking for feedback OP. It is really poor form to send a generic no-reply email following an interview.

Maybe even an indication of how things are run there…

Original poster
RolyPolyOll · 20/12/2024 19:29

HerculesMulligan · 20/12/2024 19:26

OP, I'm recruiting at the moment and everyone I see is a "good candidate", and many of them give really good interviews too. I'm making decisions between people based on fairly small details of their experience, their management style, their ambitions and how long they are likely to stay, their communication skills, what additional abilities they can bring to my team that we don't already have and so on. Everyone I'm seeing would be brilliant in a role quite like the one I'm hiring, but perhaps not in my specific role because of factors around who they'd be working with, team dynamics, salary and so on and so on.

It's probably not any reflection on your competence or your ability to interview well - it's just that they only have one role and another person happens to be a slightly better fit than you.

its really refreshing and useful to hear it from a recruiting managers perspective! They did say that the current team had been there for many many years and a lot about how I would manage them. Perhaps they didn’t like my answer and management style. God I really don’t know, I felt like I gave such good answers!

OP posts:
LostittoBostik · 20/12/2024 19:30

Definitely ask for the feedback. It will make a huge difference to how you feel about it (in a positive way I suspect)

Original poster
RolyPolyOll · 20/12/2024 19:31

DutchTeenyPixie · 20/12/2024 19:27

I would definitely try asking for feedback OP. It is really poor form to send a generic no-reply email following an interview.

Maybe even an indication of how things are run there…

I really wanted feedback! But prior to the interview I also tried reaching out to the hiring manager for a chat (I had his email from when I worked there previously) and he ignored me…and I don’t really want to follow up again given he’s now ignored me and rejected me via a no reply email!

Are most interview rejections from no reply emails?

OP posts:
Original poster
RolyPolyOll · 20/12/2024 19:31

LostittoBostik · 20/12/2024 19:30

Definitely ask for the feedback. It will make a huge difference to how you feel about it (in a positive way I suspect)

Unfortunately it’s a no reply email so I don’t have any way of getting in touch. And the manager has previously ignored me when asking for a chat prior to applying so I don’t want to annoy him!

OP posts:
RedRosie · 20/12/2024 19:33

Like @SlapTheButcher says, it's not a reflection on you (although it feels that way I know, as it happened to me a few years ago). Getting any job is about who you are up against in that moment, in that recruitment.

No platitudes here. It sucks! I hope you feel better soon, and that something equally good comes up soon. 💐

Mustreadabook · 20/12/2024 19:34

RolyPolyOll · 20/12/2024 19:31

Unfortunately it’s a no reply email so I don’t have any way of getting in touch. And the manager has previously ignored me when asking for a chat prior to applying so I don’t want to annoy him!

Show quote history

Maybe ask HR? Though I don’t think he should be annoyed at being asked for feedback.

Ponderingwindow · 20/12/2024 19:34

I had a job that I had once imagined as a child would be really cool. A completely esoteric job at a particular company that only strange ASD children would ever dream about. I kind of forgot about it as I aged, but one day found myself applying. I got rejected.

Three years later I had more experience and better skills. I applied again and I got the job. I’ve been there for 25 years.

It might just not be the right time for this particular opportunity.

SatansBobbleheadedDashboardOrnament · 20/12/2024 19:35

I've had for this, very much feel for you.
Applied for what I thought was a dream job, got to the final round, was rejected. A few months later I got a call from the boss (who'd been on the initial interview and I vaguely knew) to be told they thought they had made a mistake. Wanted to reinterview me, sent me to London to meet the big, big boss... and then they rejected me again. You have to laugh in the long term.

Original poster
RolyPolyOll · 20/12/2024 19:35

I don’t have any contact details for HR! All correspondence has been via the online portal and the correspondence sent to me via a no reply email and then the rejection from a no reply email. So when I tried emailing it bounced back!

OP posts:
Original poster
RolyPolyOll · 20/12/2024 19:36

SatansBobbleheadedDashboardOrnament · 20/12/2024 19:35

I've had for this, very much feel for you.
Applied for what I thought was a dream job, got to the final round, was rejected. A few months later I got a call from the boss (who'd been on the initial interview and I vaguely knew) to be told they thought they had made a mistake. Wanted to reinterview me, sent me to London to meet the big, big boss... and then they rejected me again. You have to laugh in the long term.

Edited

How horrific!! Thank god you don’t work there, sounds like a horrible place.

OP posts: