Rejected from dream job

[RolyPolyOll]

Any tips for getting over this? The most ideal job came up, I genuinely thought I would be a good candidate as I have so much experience (and have actually worked at that company on a project before!) and had an interview earlier this week which I stupidly thought went really well. I answered the questions well, we had great back and forth and I naively thought I did a good job. I then stupidly went down the path of imagining I worked there, thinking of how much fun the job would be and essentially daydreamt I had the role.

Well, back to reality, and I got rejected (so not through to the final round). And I am in bits. I am so so so so upset. I feel deflated. I really want to find a new job and this has knocked my confidence. I should be enjoying the festive period but instead I’m sitting crying! Mentally it took a lot for me to apply (having been on mat leave and having had my DCs) and now I just feel sad.

Can you ask for feedback

To echo the PP, it’s ok and normal to be upset. Of course it stings and is hugely disappointing.

I run hiring for a large FTSE 100 and the way that this business has dealt with it isn’t great, and perhaps is an indication of how the treat people generally. For comparison with us you would always have a named recruiter, you’d have spoken to them personally before you interviewed, all scheduling and emails come from them (via a system) but written by them and with their personal email address. If you wanted feedback we would absolutely give it, either by call or email (from your recruiter not the business) and after a first business interview you’d automatically get a tailored rejection with some light touch feedback. I would expect all our hiring managers to acknowledge a candidate that emails.

I’m sorry this has happened to you. Once you are ready I would try to take some learning from it, think of the interview questions and how could you improve your answers, eg if you think your weak spot might be managing the long term existing team then prep some responses for next time.

I also agree that candidate quality is very high for many roles, we often have multiple excellent candidates at interview and they’d all be strong hires.

Onwards, a better job with a better company will come along

Nope as it’s from a no reply email!

Sadly you may find they already had someone in mind.

Definitely ask for feedback and ask them to be specific in case it’s a training need you can get on top of.

But importantly this has shown you that you are capable and ready for a new challenge. And no job is the sole perfect one for you it just isn’t.

Can you frame this as being so proud of yourself for having that ‘get up and get it’ attitude that got you in that interview room, proud that you answered confidently and put yourself forward and take that purpose forward to get searching for more opportunities.

Its ok to be upset but their decision doesn’t take away how brilliant you are.

Really don't give up. But it is also quite normal to feel gutted. So try to enjoy Christmas and then pick yourself up and try again.

One of my senior managers was recently interviewed for the told she has been covering for 9 months or so. I spoke to her a few days after it became public, and whilst she was obviously disappointed she was picking herself on and going on.

I think you need to reframe your thinking before applying for more jobs. You haven't been rejected - you weren't selected. The person they went with quite likely had more direct experience, or an existing relationship with the hiring manager, etc.
Also remember you are also assessing the job in an interview- do you really want to work for someone who ignores your emails? Personally I think there is no such thing as a ' dream job' - all jobs have good and bad aspects and romanticising a role will only lead to disappointment.

This is so true. I don’t want a boss that ignores my emails! In my current role when we have interviewed we always reply.

As an update, I’ve woken up and have felt much better reading this thread. If I didn’t get it, it wasn’t the dream role for me. And I’ve mentally wrote a list of why it may not be ideal! Eg lots of travel with young DC, a small office of 8 people (currently have over 800 and love going and chatting to diff teams and socialising!)

I'm sorry this has upset you. It's a tough market out there and sadly this happens.
I know it was your dream job but if that's really the case start knocking doors. Contact them and explain it's your dream job and how much you want to work for that company and ask them for specific feedback about what additional skills they feel you need to be successful. Then start getting those skills and put a proactive place in plan to get there.
Offer to work for a week for free / ask them to keep you in file and then set up alerts with recruitment consultants and other companies for when the same jobs or jobs on that pathway come up to gain the gaps you need x

A couple of learning points to consider -

working on your resilience, so that you can bounce back from a job interview that didn't turn out the way you wanted. Don't take things personally, or dwell too much. Seek feedback from them by all means, but don't ruminate.

try not to build it up in your imagination, it sets you up for a painful shock if the job isn't yours. It easier said than done, of course it's easy to look forward to doing a job that you really think is made for you, but it's something to avoid if you want to be able to move on quickly.

I know this is hard. I've been there and it sucks. It's a type of grief for a life imagined. But it will feel easier as time goes on.

I'll echo pp points that it won't mean you weren't a good candidate. You got an interview. I had a situation where I interviewed 6 candidates for a role the other month, and could have appointed any of them. They all really wanted the very unique job, and a number of those who didn't get it were upset.

I'd also caution pushing too much for feedback. I've seen an internal case where both candidates have been excellent and it was a case of fit and small differences in experience. When the reasons were fed back it was taken very much to heart and worried about disproportionately (the rejected candidate was good vs appointed great). So if you do get feedback decide for yourself what is relevant.

Finally, these days in particular, careers are very long. There will be other dream jobs. What's for you won't go by you! Good luck next time OP

I don't know if this will cheer you up, but I felt the same after an interview once. I was so upset and the email rejection was so vague

The same job came up again a couple of years later, I applied again thinking I won't get it anyway and had so much less pressure and expectations of myself, and I got the job 2nd time round

It really was a blessing because in between the 2 applications I went out and got a different job and learned so much more.

Oh, and I now work with the person they took on first time instead of me. She's great at her job and more experienced, so I get why they hired her over me!

I'm so sorry it's really hard. I was rejected for 2 jobs last week and it's hard not to take it personally. But this may still come good either with this role or the next. Years ago I was applying and having interviews all the time and not getting the jobs. Then I had two interviews and two offers in one week!

I think that sometimes there's already someone they want, or they reject everyone because what they want is too much to find in one person or some other agenda.

Wise words, you hit the nail on the head

Thank you everyone. You really perked me up. Something new and better will come along! I need to spend this time enjoying the holidays with my two beautiful DC.

Of course you can get feedback. Indeed you should if you were convinced the interview went well.
Contact HR and ask for one of the panel to have a chat.

I would find an email address on their company website snd ask HR to send you feedback. It may help you move forward. Let urself grieve but maybe set yourself a time limit in that and make a conscious effort to have a chin up attitude and start job hunting again.
You probably did do well in interview if that was how you felt but there could have been candidates with more relevant experience, you don’t know who you’re up against. do not let it put you off applying for more jobs. The more you apply for, the more likely you’ll get a job offer (granted dream jobs don’t pop up every day). I think getting a job is partly a numbers game. Don’t be afraid to get some interview coaching though. All the best with the job hunt.

It really isn't necessarily the case that you weren't a good candidate. They may well have had internal candidates who they went for because they already know their systems etc.

Oh I'm sorry OP. This happened to me last year but I utterly tanked the interview, still devastated when the rejection came through. Feel your feelings and you will start to feel better.

Thank you ❤️ did you find another job?

This could indeed be the case!

Thank you. I just wish I knew why!! Like what particular answer or experience made them reject me.

Glad you feel better today.

I interview sometimes and I would not have a particular answer for this, because the honest answer is usually “ everything you said was fine but another candidate had more experience/was a better fit” - especially at first round. But if we have sifted 100 CVs to get 10 to first round and 5 to second (say) then most if not all of the 10 would suit the role. So take pride in getting to interview!

The more you write about how you've been treated, the more I think you've dodged a bullet! No feedback? Auto reject email?! Absolutely dreadful.

Chalk it up to experience and move on. You don't want to work for a company that shows zero empathy to candidates.

I work in recruitment and no one in our team would ever treat you in this way. Candidates should be treated with respect. If you're not... it's definitely not the company for you.

It's always hard when things don't go the way you'd hoped. But use this experience as a benchmark for how you don't want to be treated. When you next have an interview, ask what the process will be and when you'll get feedback. A decent company (one you want to work for) will happily guide you through every step of the recruitment process, including feedback!

Good luck OP. I always say... if the door doesn't open, it wasn't yours to go through. In a few months time, you'll have found a much better job. At a much better company.