Thread 16 - TalkLair: "Well, I'm not exactly quaking in my stylish-yet-affordable boots, but there's definitely something unnatural going on here."

[Kucinghitam]

(Previous thread 15).

Another year over, a new one just begun...

In the TalkLair, the hearth is glowing, the walls festooned with tinsel, books by non-approved authors line the shelves, rugs are down on the floors, the tree is twinkling with fairy lights (and possibly being clambered on by cats). The denizens of the lair are a welcoming bunch though, always eager for general chit-chat on all manner of topics.

We just won’t mention the gnawed bones of our prey Christmas roast beast over there in the corner of the cave…

Even a big cat is still a cat!

DC went for their first 6th form college interviews last week. I thought I was being a bit of a helicopter parent - they got the train from school to the city centre, I met them at the station and we walked to the college together (even though they perfectly well knew how to walk there). When we reached the college, I wished them good luck and went to sit in a cafe to wait. They messaged when they were done, came to the cafe to meet me, I bought them hot chocolates before we went home. Job done.

Turned out, everyone else who came to the interview had at least one parent with them - "We looked like the only ones whose parents didn't love us!"

Whoops.

Ha! I was just thinking, like most readers I imagine, that your first paragraph sounded the ideal way to arrange things... 😀

DDs actually found it rather funny that they were the only kids there without parents. As they said, the college emailed them personally to arrange the interviews, why would a parent need to attend? They're got a few more college interviews coming up and I have no intention of hovering over them at those either...

Ooh! A spot of emotional blackmail there, Kuc!

I admire their independence and your trust in them Kuc. I started one course straight after A levels, hated it and dropped out after one term, stayed home and got a job for two terms, wheedled another grant out of my local authority (ah the days of no tuition fees and local authority grants...), applied to another university for a totally different course and got in and did my degree and MA there. I don't remember ever consulting (and barely informing) my parents about college applications, where I was going to go, what I was going to study. They were very supportive, whatever I decided to do, but didn't seem to think they needed to play any part in the decisions.

It was the same with me, Brit. I informed my dad about what I was going to study and then just got on with it. I can't imagine him coming along to an interview.

I’m not too surprised that a lot of kids have a parent with them at 6th form interviews but it’s not remotely necessary. I think parents have been getting more involved in university applications over the last couple of decades. It’s because of fees, I think, and a growing culture of student as consumer.

When I was finishing my BA, I was very surprised that a significant proportion of my peers got their fathers to come in to help install the final show. My dad died when I was little and I really hadn’t expected it to suddenly makes a difference at 34 (mature student; not having a dad when I did my BSc didn’t matter at all). It was really a two person job so I was struggling a bit but a friend lent me her dad and we got the work up in no time.

I wonder if many parents go to 6th form college interviews because it's the only way they'll ever find out what's going on? 15-16 year-olds are notoriously uncommunicative! A friend's daughter went to study engineering (perhaps not the best choice, as it took her 3 goes to scrape through GCSE maths) and was at the end of her first year before she mentioned to her parents that she'd switched courses after half a term and was now studying art and design.

I'm constantly gobsmacked by the parental involvement in e.g. uni applications. I would have killed both of my parents if they had suggested coming to interviews with me - I went on the train and stayed overnight in Cambridge, Durham and York. And although they were happy I ended up in Cambridge, they very much saw it as my thing and not theirs (they met there).

Helicopter parenting does kids absolutely no favours, IMO. I once had a graduate trainee who got her mum to phone in sick for her. Once. She didn't do it again, after we had a little chat.

MaBint drove me.to some of my interviews, because from where we lived a train journey would have gone all.round the houses. But it was just a lift and drop off somewhere in the right city. Whereas MrBint tells me.it's now common for parents to accompany on open days and come practically to the door of the interview room, as well as getting their own welcome event at the start of the year.

When did open days become a thing? Did they coincide with the introduction of tuition fees?

No there were open days back in the early 90s, before tuition fees came in.

I spent the afternoon at a friend's house having a crafting afternoon. She has so much fun art type stuff and it was really bloody lovely. I'm definitely doing it again not least because I produced a piece of work - using stamps and inks that makes it look like you've done a really decent watercolour - that was so nice I sent it as a card to a friend whose birthday it is. Also really theraputic and I like her cat. Seems like Francis does too as he was all over me rubbing on my hand and sniffing it like it was the loveliest thing he'd ever sniffed.

We had a bite of lunch before getting started (we went full on moggo lunch, soft hardboiled eggs, if that makes sense! with tomatoes, white bread and instead of mayo we all decided that we were going with salad cream) and while we were eating friend's husband was talking about binturongs and bringing up photos of babies and adults. Obviously, I thought of you @NoBinturongsHereMate

Sounds a good lunch - I know exactly what you mean by a soft hardboiled egg. The second best egg for a sandwich (after fried).

I love crafting. I went to a couple of sets of pottery classes last year, and though I'm clearly not one of nature's potters I had fun and made a couple of things I like. I also went to a print making class that took me all the way back to the linocuts I did for A level Art in 1968. Pictures attached! The linocut is pretty crude but it's almost fifty years since I did the last one!

When I was in sixth form I did a school exchange trip to New Jersey. The girl I was staying with had a college interview while I was there and we all (me, L and her parents) went down to Pennsylvania for a couple of days and, bizarrely, we all went in to her actual interview! I think there was an element of checking how wealthy her family was and what they might give to the college.

I went to mine by myself but I think I only stayed overnight at Durham.

I did pottery evening classes many years ago. I was rubbish at throwing and not great at anything else really. It’s fair to say that mostly I made a mess. Enjoyed it though.

The lino prints are beautiful, @Britinme and I really like the vases.

@artant I think that would be me with pottery but I'd enjoy trying.

The name for soft hardboiled eggs that I've seen a few times recently seems to be jammy eggs.

I loved pottery classes and we lived near enough to the Gladstone Pottery Museum for me to go to Saturday classes there as a child for several years.

Oh, I like the term "jammy eggs"! DDs call them Vaseline eggs, which is considerably less appetising. But also a firm favourite ChezKuc - if I'm organised, I marinate them in soy sauce and aromatics to make either tea eggs or Korean-style "drug" eggs.

Speaking of university visits, I think I've told this story before but:

This was my classmate from 6th form back home. He'd gone on to Cambridge, I went to London - then we reconnected when I started my PhD at the same college.

Pre-admission he'd been invited for interview and (being veh wealthy) decided to attend in person. College duly arranged accommodation in an undergraduate set and assigned a current student to host and show him around. So on arrival, the host welcomed my friend, took him to dinner in hall, brought him to the assigned room and wished him good night.

BUT. There are quite a few sets in college where your sitting room and bedroom are some distance apart, even on a different floor sometimes. And it turned out that my friend had been brought to the sitting room (and the host had entirely failed to notice let alone explain the setup). Friend therefore spent a rather perplexed and uncomfortable night on the sofa, before having to attend interview the next day

Those are fabulous, Brit!

I did a bit of lino printing at school, and really liked the feel of the cutting. Never resulted in anything worth looking at but the process was satisfying.

This came up on my Instagram, making me feel rather homesick especially at this time of year.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DEwP81DS7eK/?

That does look lovely, not surprised it's made you feel homesick.

I had a look at Penang Island on Google maps (layers view) and it is so GREEN! It reminded me of Singapore, which was beautiful in the late 50s/early 60s. MrG and I went to Singapore in early 2000 (a week's stopover between Guangzhou and NZ) and it was unrecognisable. I mean, I understand why they've built it up, but it made me sad.

Sending "stay safe" vibes for tomorrow to the posters on the next-door island @DeanElderberry @NoBinturongsHereMate (anybody else?), Storm Eowyn looks bloody scary even where I am!

Have people been following the "Should she return it" AirWrap saga? That is one CF!