Come and have a laugh at my ex husband of you need cheering up!

[Mydogisamassivetwat]

Ds was planning to visit his dad at some point over Christmas. Looking at trains last night, they were absolutely extortionate and for two days, inc 10 hour travel time, it wasn’t worth the price.

Ex h has gone mental. Sent me a text last night saying that as I chose to move so far away from him, it’s my responsibility, and I should bring ds to him for contact. I have to drive him or pay the train fare. He’s going to “take advice” on next steps.

Ds is 22 years old. Yes, twenty-two. Not two. A grown man.

Has his own job, didn’t know when his leave would be until last night so couldn’t plan in advance, and to be honest, he’s a grown arse adult who is working Christmas Day anyway and what he does with his free time and his money is no longer any of my business.

I am wondering on what these next steps will be? Solicitor, perhaps? Or maybe he will go for full custody? I mean, ds lives with his girlfriend now, so I presume it’s her he would take to court, not me? Or perhaps their landlord? Who knows!

Oh and I know I’ll get asked why he still has my contact details. It’s because, every so often, he will do something batshit like this and honestly, I find it hilarious. When ds was 18, he said he was going to court for full custody and was contacting solicitors as ds didn’t want to go to uni, so this is nothing new, the man is just a fucking idiot. I tell him to let me know how it goes and then ignore him.

Fabulous! Seriously, EX could drive down and pick his son up. Out Pat for the train. Simple 🤣

Wow Ive never heard anything like this. Get a bloody grip, if a relationship breaks down, why should a woman be tied to living close to her ex? Would you say if he moved to the other side of the world, she should go with him, so he can see his children? This man is clearly a controlling moron. Why would she want to live close to him, so he can keep control of her?

What a brilliant thread! OP, you are amazing! 👏🏻👏🏻

My son was supposed to go to his dad's today for tea, I came home from work and my Ds was still at home. Apparently his dad cancelled because his big toe is sore. I'm just letting my kids figure it out for themselves but my god it takes all my strength keeping my gob shut.

What, no mention of the fathers?

https://4w.pub/the-rules-of-misogyny/

This thread is hilarious and awesome OP. I have to thank you (and your therapist) for the phrase "let me know how that goes". I too have a complete bell end of an ex and I get very trigggered with messages so will be using this pronto 💪🏻☺️

Beautiful. "Dear ex, I'd be happy to drive our son over to enable contact, but he's just outgrown his car seat. As soon as you buy him a bigger one and post it to me, I'll be able to make the journey safely. See you soon?"

Can you imagine the solicitors appointment?

"My ex has alienated my son, is refusing to facilitate me seeing him at Xmas and I havent seen him since X! She is doing this deliberately to get me out of his life. We didnt have a fomal court ordered arrangement so I want one now to stop her doing this"

"OK, sounds like you have a good case for formalising contact. How old is your son?"

"22"

"Pardon....?"

I would pay hard cash to be a fly on the wall for that one! Solicitor will literally be laughing all the way to the bank!

Just block him!

You should respect your dcs wishes if they don't want to speak to the dickhead!

I blocked my ds's dickhead dad years ago - best thing I ever did!

This post has made me happy I can now react with a laughter emoji. 😂

I think you’re the only one who can’t see what’s funny tbh!

Redirecting this towards OP is unfair, though I've found and I'm also blessed with a toxic and moronic ex a common women-blame-other-women attitude. My ex went to a well known UK boarding school, top uni and a US Ivy League, earns a high wage, presented himself as a progressive, kind and generous human when we married. Did a 180 turn when I became pregnant. OP's ex's demand is v much the sort of thing I can imagine my ex would demand in 10 years. I look forward to my children being adults to make their own choices of how to manage their father and I may employ OP's line with pleasure!

@Mydogisamassivetwat hope he's still paying cm until he gets full custody 🤣

It never ceases to amaze me, the amount of smug "Well its your own fault for marrying a bellend" comments that these threads bring out. Like they are somehow cleverer than other women instead of being what they actually are, fucking lucky!

My abusive husband wasnt abusive until after we were married because otherwise I wouldnt have married him!

The OP's ex wasnt like this until AFTER SHE LEFT HIM ffs!!! Or perhaps it was her fault for him cheating on her because we all know that "happy men dont cheat" 🙄

But no, its all the womans fault for being with him in the first place, not his for being an arsehole that hid it until it was too late for the wife to easily escape it, usually after having kids, when you are tied to them forever like it or not.

@PyongyangKipperbang I Know these responses wind me up too. I felt smug once too, but I was deep in a coercive relationship with a misogynist who told me how to think.

B.I.N.G.O.
These types of comments are made by people who tend to operate on a just world fallacy. They believe bad things happen because people deserve them, be it by not spotting red flags or by being deficient in some way.
However, anything bad that happens to them is a grave injustice, even something relatively minor, because they don't deserve it. It's impossible to have a reasonable discussion about such matters with somebody like that.

I was watching a FB reel today on the best way to handle narcissists. Not saying he is, one, I have no idea, but it made me think of you.

The woman said all you need is one word, "okay" whenever they say anything.

I think your "let me know how that goes" is great, a slightly longer version, but so direct!

I would have thought this was a joke but similar for family friend. Ex disappeared before baby was born as 'not ready to be a dad'. Came back saying ready now, asking to meet child and asking if boy/girl and upon finding was a daughter asked if she liked barbies.

She replied she had been into barbie but had outgrown them quite a while ago and offered to give the daughter his number when she got home from work to call if she wanted.

Idiot seemed dumbfounded his daughter had become 19 in the almost 20 years he'd been absent and hadn't remained a 3yo until he was 'ready' to be a parent.

FFS!

What a loser. His chuffing toe. I’d advise very deep breaths for you. His sore toe what an absolute shit head.

Yes me too, should be a laugh!

We can't let it go to obscurity, it is priceless, got to be nominated for something.

But why even have contact any more ? He sounds lonely. Like any attention even negative attention and wants a reason to be engaged with you. I feel sad for him tbh

It won't get into Classics by the power of wishful thinking. Report your post and tell MN.

He does seem particularly obtuse doesn't he?