What age for being home alone

[justanotherboymum]

Am wondering at what age do people tend to leave a child home alone if you are quickly driving to the shops (gone 10-15mins)?

Are you taking the piss? At age 11 in year 7 mine was coming home from school alone, letting himself in with his own key and home on his own twice a week until I got home from work. No wonder kids can't do anything independently these days.

I'm in NI and 13 seems daft. Surely tht means for longer periods/multiple hours?

Mine is 10 and very happy to be left for an hour or so on the odd occasion we have reason to. We always leave her with a phone and she would go to one of the neighbours if there was any issue but she's very sensible and has been since she was no age.

DS started walking home alone at 9. He got a phone at 10 as he started getting the school bus into the city. So we decided that we could trust him in the house for up to 30 mins around the same time. There will be a point quite soon where we will give him a key yo let himself in from school - 11/12 I imagine.

But if you had been alone, and had been suitably briefed: "mum and dad are going out. We'll be home by 8pm. If we aren't home by then, call granny/auntie Anne/neighbour Nancy". They could have written that down as well, n case you forgot , and told the people in question you might right. And you could have done it. It obviously wouldn't have been ideal, but it wouldn't have been a disaster. And 99.9% of the time when we go out we aren't in car accidents/getting flat tyres etc.

We used to live in v isolated spot, so no neighbours to go to, road didn't have pavement so not safe to walk. DC not left alone there, until we moved house at about 10 or maybe 11 years old.

I work full-time I don't leave my children unsupervised underage. It's basic parenting. If society isn't paying mothers enough to finance childcare that is a huge issue.

Well it's the advice from the national professionals. I always kept the approach of best practice was in their best interests 🤷‍♀️

Totally dependent on the child. My dd was fine at age 10, ds was 12+, but it does depend on where you live!

My eldest is 7.5 and very sensible.

There's no way I would leave an 8 year old home alone but not judging - just surprised how many do.

11/12 - 15 min quick shop
14 - A few hours - evening out
18 - overnight - longer breaks

9 for up to an hour. Now 11 2-3 hours. I think though what matters more then how long, is who else is around and what is the emergency plan?

When we leave it's usually because we've been sitting all day working and want to do a local walk and he's walked to school and back, had PE, played in the garden and is tired. We were mostly doing a circuit on the estate, so while we might leave him for an hour or 2 we are actually mostly max 15 mins straight walk home should he ring us.

Now we occasionally have it so that he has an hour or so by himself after school before he comes in from work, but there are neighbours he knows around if he needs help.

what do you mean by underage? S
Not leaving 17yo is a bit overprotective in my opinion .

DS13 I will leave for a few hours if necessary. Eg he had an inset day, dh was away and I was working (but finished at 1, and I am a 15m walk away) so he stayed on his own. If it’s not essential then probably an hour or 2.

DS10 is first home twice a week so has to let himself in and be on his own for about 30-45m. He has a phone and I get alerts from life 360 as to his whereabouts. I am close by with work and would not leave him alone if I was further from home. He loves it actually!

Both boys are sensible. They know the neighbours, know the rules and also have grandparents an easy 10m walk away. I also wouldn’t leave them alone together for any length of time (maybe to run to the post office down the road) only because I don’t believe ds13 should have to be responsible for his brother just yet.

By underage, I am referring to Ireland's guidelines published by Tusla. So secondary which starts at age 13 they were left for short periods. 15 onwards longer periods and I was happy to go to a film etc and be back by 10 at night and then whatever they were comfortable with.

I agree it totally depends on the child- when I left my 14 year old age 12 someone knocked at the door while I was out and he hid in his bed (even though I’d told him just ignore the door). I have a 12 year old who’s been ready years, as was my now 16 year old but my god I can’t imagine my now 10 year old ever being ready, he’s totally unpredictable in most aspects of life! In Ireland it’s not illegal but not recommended to leave an under 13 on their own for any length of time at all by the national children’s agency

DS is 11, Y6, I don't think we would leave him for any longer than 20 mins or so. He's very sensible, walks/cycles home by himself and I can't really think of anything that could go wrong, but I'm just not sure if he would want to be left by himself.

We left at age 10, for up to an hour. They had a phone and strict instructions. They're 11 now and we've left for 2-3 hours. No worries here

13 to be left alone for short periods seems so late. I mean, don't they go to school and back unsupervised anyway?

These threads always surprise me. In real life, I know loads of people who are leaving their 8 or 9 year olds for a bit while dropping off older children or whatever. It's pretty common around here.

DD doesn't mind staying at home for 30 minutes if it's day time but not in the dark, which is fair enough (she's nearly 10).

Ledft my 9 year old for around 15 mins, usually she's left with her sister who is 13 but sometimes on her own for a short time.

It isn't the same. I live in a very safe area he walks with friends. Leaving him unsupervised at the home is not comparable. Given the national guidelines state 13+ I am confident in my choice for my children. Their peers are the same the only people I see leaving children alone are people I honestly wouldn't be taking any heed of, but that is who is around me.

Genuinely curious to understand why you think it's safe for your child to be out of the house unsupervised but not in the house

I take the opposite view entirely - our home is very safe, DS knows what to do in an emergency and anything happening is very unlikely but out and about all sorts can happen

In my own childhood, nothing unsafe ever happened to me at home but lots out of the home - including being flashed

How is he safer walking around than at home? That's some odd logic.

This is the same place where grown women won't go out in the dark - I don't think it's representative

I leave mine to pop to the village shop, they are 6 and 8. They are allowed to go the park by themselves, so I don't see why I wouldn't also leave them home alone. They are pretty mild-mannered kids.