What age for being home alone

[justanotherboymum]

Am wondering at what age do people tend to leave a child home alone if you are quickly driving to the shops (gone 10-15mins)?

We never left ours home alone, there was never any reason to.

How? Even at 14/15? Did you make them come to the shops? Go to a childcare provision etc?

Why not?

How old are yours, and when did you start leaving your alone for an hour?

An hour is basically 10min drive to the supermarket, 20mins to shop, stop for fuel, 10mins drive home. In the meantime they've played on their phone or had a lie in. Meh.

There is no set age unless they’re caring for siblings, then it’s 14. I started allowing it around 12.

Age 11 most kids are starting at senior school, if they haven't been allowed to find a bit of independence by then, they will have a lot to catch up on.

@JimHalpertsWife

How? Even at 14/15? Did you make them come to the shops? Go to a childcare provision etc?

We just always had an adult at home.

This is just untenable in most cases. Work, taking other kids to clubs, going to do the food shopping etc.

So you and dh never had a night out or went for a walk together? Or did you book babysitters for teenagers?

Depends on the kid, but generally I’d say from around 9/10 for up to an hour or two.

Summer term year five for first very brief time. Year six start building up to longer so by high school they are comfortable walking to and from school, being at home for slightly longer periods etc, start meeting friends at weekend.

I'd leave my 8yo for up to half an hour.

@JimHalpertsWife

This is just untenable in most cases. Work, taking other kids to clubs, going to do the food shopping etc.

I wasn't suggesting it for others or saying it is the right/best thing to do. It was just circumstances. I have long since used online shopping but when the children were little I either left them with DH or took them/one of them/some of them with me.

So you and dh never had a night out or went for a walk together? Or did you book babysitters for teenagers?

No nights out are not something we would enjoy. DH is disabled so no walking either. No babysitters for teenagers needed.

No. Think "butterfly flapping its wings". Everything would have been different.

Y5 for 10-15 minutes walking other dc to clubs but not going out in the car.

I left dc at home together Y6 and Y4 and dd2 was really unhappy, she ended up phoning DH and talking to him as he drove home. She's Y5 now and OK for me to go out if dd1 is here but she wouldn't want to be alone.

I have three kids and leave my 9.5 and/or 11.5 year olds at home alone for short times here and there. They don’t want to be dragged along collecting each other from playdates and clubs. Someone else (i.e. my husband) knows they are home alone and they have a means to contact them.

No. Think "butterfly flapping its wings". Everything would have been different.

That's not how risk assessments work though, you need to consider the factors before you make the decision to leave the child alone or take them with you.

Thanks everyone, lots of differing opinions! Currently he's 9 and won't just yet but was wondering in the next year whether I can. Single parent so would help me out a lot. He has an iPad he can message/call me or others on and knows the neighbours. I will aim for age 10 and see then 😀

I think my 8 year old would still worry if I left him alone to go to the corner shop.

I've only just started leaving him to pop to the garage for 5/10 minutes (we live in a flat so the garage is separate from our flat).

8-ish. Old enough to use a phone to dial 999 and to lock and unlock the front door.

I was left alone at 8 and perfectly fine! It was 1973 and we just got on with things. I was always relieved when my mother went (to work), I’ve always liked my own company and didn’t want to be micromanaged all the time. I knew not to open the door, could get myself a drink, was able to watch tv with a snack. I felt safe and was perfectly happy.

I find some of the answers very alarming. I Ireland the advice is secondary which is 13+.

End of year 6, anything up to an hour. Not left alone before then. Once in secondary school, they can be left for a few hours

Many years ago (pre mobile phones) my parents were in a bad car accident and didn't come home till the next day.
Luckily my brother and I were being babysat by grandparents.
Things happen.

We live in a village, he knows all the neighbours and they all know him. We’re not in the UK. I did occasional upto 20 min things from age 6, checking he was comfortable with it and having discussed several times what to do in an emergency (grab a square key and go to next door neighbour, if not in, the school teacher opposite). We also have ground rules, like don’t open the door when alone. He‘s just turned eight and I left him for 2 thirty minute stints last week. DH and I also had 30 mins the previous week where he had to go out before I got back from work. DS had no problem with it.

Still pretty occasional, but he was walking home from Kindergarten alone at 6 (10-15 mins), walks home from school alone (5 mins), and has started running basic errands for me around the village.

We live in a country where children are taught to be independent from a young age, and in a safe village in that country. We all watch out for each other. When at age 4 I left him at the playground in the temporary care of a local dad friend of mine as I nipped home and back - less than 5 mins to walk - by the time I had got home two people had chased after me asking if I knew my son was at the playground. One local Dad sent his nephew on a bike after me to ensure I got the message quickly. I was gone less than 10 minutes in all.

He doesn’t have a phone, but we‘ve discussed which adults have my phone number locally and at his village sport clubs.

Meanwhile in the REAL world some of us have to work and can't always be home. Mine was a latch key kid from age 11!

Year 5 I do a 6 min trip to drop my eldest at dance at 630 but DH gets home at 645 on the same day so I know I'll be home at 636 but DH will be home soon after me. I also leave my phone with her as I'm with my other daughter who has a phone.