Design for me a flu hotel

[Nobiggerthanyourhand]

Not a hospital. It’s not hospital-grade flu.

I am imagining being a very wealthy person and being able to ‘check-in’ to the most comfortable and supported version of the flu.

That is such a good idea. I live on my own and I'm sure there would be a market for somewhere to go and be ill in comfort with all you need on hand.

I am imagining a very comfortable ambulance service would pick up at the first sneeze and that the early stages would be spent watching tv and eating curries.

And that you graduate to the bed ridden stage where people in hazmat suits come in and fluff your pillows and put you on a drip.

With the final stage being a sort of gentle walk rehabilitation, restorative personalised menu and a counselling session about how awful the actual flu is and how to deal with returning to the real world.

Love it! 😆 what an amazing idea. I’d check in definitely if I wasn’t so poor.

There would have to be sea air like the old convalescence hospitals.

Now got this as my earworm, but 'flu' instead of 'blue'.

Makes me think of those dreadful COVID hotels where they were quarantining people who had flown in from certain countries at extortionate cost.

I'd just want to be at home, thanks.

Throat-numbingly cold smoothies and juices available in endless combinations on tap. With ginger, turmeric, wheatgrass and whatever other fancy ingredients. The same but for warm nourishing soups from miso to thick leek and potato.

Built in in-bed foot and back massagers.

All your favourite children’s books and classics available as soothingly read audiobooks.

Exactly this.

Water bed, private steam room/sauna/spa, throat lozenge bar, and a beauty parlour to give you a pre departure facial and blow dry before you leave.

I would like someone to diagnose for me whether the cough is tickly or chesty rather than me having to take a punt on the right answer.

@Nobiggerthanyourhand and of course you would need a mini bar full of different types of cough medicines so you could pick the right one for your tickly/chesty/productive cough

And most importantly somewhere to quarantine the kids so they don’t catch it and look after them 24/7 until it’s all over!!

Clean sheets every 6 hours and someone to stroke my hair, please. Lovely bathrooms, full of steam, and big fluffy warmed towels for after your shower or bath. Positive encouragement to get back into bed still slightly damp as you don't have the energy to get dressed AND shower, but warmed pj's and nice comfy pants ready for when you need them. Someone available to pick up everything I drop as it hurts too much to bend down....

This sounds like an amazing idea! Someone to bring you the fruit juices I only have when sick and can't face coffee and bring you whatever foods you fancy/can actually eat without having to make a special Whoosh order, make sure you don't run out of paracetamol, soft balsm tissues, throat lozenges, other meds, change your sheets and bring you fresh nightclothes, all in a soft fluffy king or larger bed with soft sheets and duvets!

I'm sold!

Very responsive heating controls so that you can deal with switching from shivering to sweating like a pig in the space of 5 minutes.

Highly trained mind reading chefs who can recreate the comfort food of your childhood.

Fouffy socks
That should have read fluffy socks but Fouffy sounds cosier!

There would be a tv you could watch while lying on your side

someone would come and give you fresh cool pillows when yours got hot and rumply

tissues would magically appear in your hand when yours needed to blow your nose and then whisk themselves to the bin afterwards

someone nice would arrive to offer you meals and cups of tea at regular intervals

someone else would keep the house running while you were in bed and for 3 days afterwards to allow you to get back to full energy levels

Ahhhhh, I would love this. I would want fresh pyjamas and bedding daily to manage the fever sweating, endless hot baths, perhaps with someone ready with a big towel if I got too tired! And ginger tea the way it's done in the Maldives. And someone to speak calmly and compassionately the whole time.

There would be a tv you could watch while lying on your side
Genius!

This reminds me of a YouTube dark hole of a hotel type set up in I think china where after child birth new mums go for a month of being looked after. Lush! Not sure why I am moaning though I got three whole hours before I was left to it whilst dad was sent home for a nap.

Sign me up!!

Can it also include a complimentary blitz of your house while you are away so your housework is fully up together on your return home?

All of this, please. And someone to monitor my coughing and show me on a graph whether things are improving.

And someone to mop my brow with a flannel.

Animal of your choice to sleep on your bed, plus an array of Teddy Bears to choose from.

Bath chairs so you can be swaddled up warm but go and sit outside and watch the birds / sky get some fresh air every day when you're recuperating

I have googled bath chairs @Gatecrashermum

and if they are the wicker chairs on a sort of push along tricycle then, yes, everyone gets one of those.

What a dream! I want a gift voucher that has no expiry and I can use whenever I need it please!