Design for me a flu hotel

[Nobiggerthanyourhand]

Not a hospital. It’s not hospital-grade flu.

I am imagining being a very wealthy person and being able to ‘check-in’ to the most comfortable and supported version of the flu.

And you can have your dog with you. Someone comes to feed it and take it for walks. Then grooms it and tucks it up into bed with you. Sea view with a balcony and a nice comfy chair, lovely candles and floaty curtains.

If I was this rich I assume I'd have a hospital suite in a wing of mansion already, waiting for the doctors and nurses I keep on retainer to mop my brow and regularly replaced my dressing gown of doom (for though I am a woman, if I have the luxury of wealth I can act like a man).

I had a really nasty lurgy recently and made my own lurgy lair in my bedroom. Told young adult DCs to fend for themselves and stayed in bed watching TV, sleeping, listening to podcasts and taking the odd McDelivery for about three days. I did get up to shower or bath daily and had to fluff my own pillows but it was the best recuperation I’ve had in years. My darling cat kept me company the whole time too.

Lovely crisp bed linen. Glossy magazines. A button you can press to open and close windows for fresh air. Ice cream on request. Someone to come in, when you feel really poorly in the darkest reaches of the night, and just sit quietly nearby in case you need someone to tell you you are ok/summon medical help. One of those handsome, personable young men you find in the nicest hotels to deliver Lemsips at regular intervals with a smile and a courteous word.

What a brilliant idea!

A willing listener to sympathetically nod and make comforting sounds, without rolling their eyes or going on their phone, as I whinge on for hours about how ill I am and nobody has ever had flu this bad.

A nice cat to purr and sit on my knee.

Oh yes and nurses who wheel you gently in reclining wicker chairs to take the sun on the terrace, swaddled in blankets. With roses always in bloom.

All of the above, please.

Plus a night nurse on hand to dispense Night Nurse.

For the days when you start to feel remotely human, an automatic shower, towel drying, moisturising and hair washing contraption where you can just sit for a while and come out clean, shiny and wearing clean pyjamas.

And staff are shot at dawn if they tell you they had it worse than you.

It would be full men.. and they would be dropped off by their partners willing to pay someone else to listen to the constant moaning. You couldn’t pay me enough to work there.

It would need to have extremely good sound proofing. The last thing you’d want is to hear some random person in the room next door coughing away all night.

Main staff would be granny’s (in full hazmat) saying you sound terrible and your mother musnt be looking after you while producing the perfect temperature soup and stroking your face. Never felt more loved and like all was right in the world, other than the raging chest infection.

You can book yourself into care homes to convalesce post op or injury, costs ££££ though but would be useful for poorer single people or those who get no rest from their families.

That would be amazing

Apart from that I just want to be left alone with flu, everything hurts and I can't stand the duvet touching me so a contraption that could raise that up would be handy
Constant supply of hot or cold drinks and those cold head patches

Books and a heated blanket would do me.

I wouldn't want a bed,.more of a sunken pit that sort of cradles you a bit filled with pillows and fluffy blankets so you can do the nesting wriggling. And a clothes rack with unlimited new cool and soft cotton jammies with different animals on them.

Urgh imagine all the manky dressing gowns at the men's version

There must be no sense of other patients at the flu hotel. It is an entirely personalised experience.

But maybe someone can go and fetch the ‘dressing gown of doom’ from people’s own homes if that is what they require.

Do you think there could be a period wing as well? I'm currently Suffering Like No Other. Might need to start another thread for that.

I like the idea of having wings @user12696648

you could have the period one
the I’ve just been dumped one
the burnt out one

Having staff/carer on my fingertips

Calming decorated bedroom
Comfortable bed with fresh bedding and pyjamas every day
Never ending supply of the softest but also strong tissues
Hot teas, freshly squeezed juice, cool sparkling water available all the time
Snacks like greek yoghurt or chocolate mousse
My childhood chicken soup miraculously created
Books and movies if I am in the mood for them.

Oh can we have no men please????

Can we have medics on-site so there will be adequate pain relief and something to help you sleep?

The best thread I've read for some time. Genius idea.

I'm nearly four weeks in now and feeling no better. I'd check in tomorrow if this existed and money were no object....