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Original poster

Dh in trouble - please advise

69 replies

panickingwife · 14/12/2024 18:28

Hi all. Dh is on the verge of a complete mental breakdown. What happens if he gets signed off work? He's in a probation period, so I'm guessing they can just terminate employment. I'm looking for work but it's certain we will need UC. Any idea how bring signed off affects this. Or any advice at all really. We are both massively stressed, not sleeping

OP posts:
ThatIsNotMyNameSoWhyAreYouCallingMeThat · 14/12/2024 18:33

He has no employment rights for 24 months in a new job, regardless of any probation period.

has he shared any of his health history with the employer?

MarkingBad · 14/12/2024 18:36

Forget about work, it is vital your DH gets medical help.

Call Citizens advice on Monday for further information on what you can do. You can visit their website now to see if there is any advice to put your mind at ease

Patienceinshortsupply · 14/12/2024 18:38

Is it the job leading to this OP, or other circumstances?

I'm asking because if it's a job he likes and is good at, then honesty may be the best policy with his employer. If it's the job adding to the stress then he needs to resign and sort out treatment.

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Benefits
Littletreefrog · 14/12/2024 18:39

To be honest if his mental health is that bad what it means work wise is irrelevant. If he needs to be signed off he needs to be signed off

SnowFrogJelly · 14/12/2024 18:40

Citizens advice will help

Startingagainandagain · 14/12/2024 18:45

''ThatIsNotMyNameSoWhyAreYouCallingMeThat · Today 18:33

He has no employment rights for 24 months in a new job,''

That's a daft things to say.

'Employment rights' cover anything from paid holidays, notice period to sick leave which apply from day 1.

Also if he has a long-term mental issues and a history of depression that is classified as a disability which implies protection from discrimination.

Anyway, back to you OP, he really needs to speak to his GP to look at what can be done. His health is more important than a job in the end.

JennieTheZebra · 14/12/2024 18:46

I’m a MH nurse. What exactly do you mean by “complete mental breakdown”? If he’s poorly enough for hospital/CMHT/crisis team then they will all help with sickness and disability benefits. If he foresees this as being a long term thing he should apply for the sickness part of UC as quickly as possible.

Original poster
panickingwife · 14/12/2024 18:59

Thanks for the replies. He doesn't have a history of mental health issues - it's completely this job which has caused it.

He can't quit because I think that counts as making himself unemployed and we won't get any state help.

He isn't sleeping at all. The dr gave him sleeping pills but he's so anxious they are burning through his system in about 3 hours. He looks terribly unwell.

He's pretty certain he's going to get fired and is frantic he won't get another job in his industry because his reputation will be shot.

I know that he's got to get out of there - I've told him I literally don't care what he does for a living, I don't need a high earning dh, I need a Dh who is well and happy.
He is someone though who has always been a good earner and derives a lot of self esteem from his work.

I can't work out whether getting him signed off is better or worse for him in the long run

OP posts:
applestewing · 14/12/2024 19:06

Why is he going to get fired?
this doesn’t sound like the full story

ExceededUsefulEconomicLife · 14/12/2024 19:08

Startingagainandagain · 14/12/2024 18:45

''ThatIsNotMyNameSoWhyAreYouCallingMeThat · Today 18:33

He has no employment rights for 24 months in a new job,''

That's a daft things to say.

'Employment rights' cover anything from paid holidays, notice period to sick leave which apply from day 1.

Also if he has a long-term mental issues and a history of depression that is classified as a disability which implies protection from discrimination.

Anyway, back to you OP, he really needs to speak to his GP to look at what can be done. His health is more important than a job in the end.

It's not daft. It's correct. There is no legal safety for anyone employed less than two years. Probation periods are a red herring. You receive no further rights from passing, just a slightly longer notice period.

OP, get the help he needs. What's caused this? Can that be helped?

MarkingBad · 14/12/2024 19:08

If he is sick he is sick, that's allowed.

I wouldn't quit, but he can go off sick, it is up to his employer of they choose to fire him or keep him on sometimes they do if they are on probation. He shouldn't need to worry about not getting another job, his employer can't go round gossiping about him. Lots of people have temporary MH issues. All he needs to be concerned about it getting well.

He should call in sick and get medical help ASAP

ExceededUsefulEconomicLife · 14/12/2024 19:10

Slowest ever cross post 🤣

So the jobs causing it, what's stopping him getting a new one? Jobs are meant to be something we live with, not for. Apply for new jobs and move on. Get help for what ails him.

Littletreefrog · 14/12/2024 19:10

ExceededUsefulEconomicLife · 14/12/2024 19:08

It's not daft. It's correct. There is no legal safety for anyone employed less than two years. Probation periods are a red herring. You receive no further rights from passing, just a slightly longer notice period.

OP, get the help he needs. What's caused this? Can that be helped?

Show quote history

It is a daft thing to say they have NO employment rights. They don't have certain employment rights but they do have others.

spottedinthewilds · 14/12/2024 19:14

He needs to work on getting a new job. Otherwise the options are stay in a job that is making him ill or possibly get fired.

buttonousmaximous · 14/12/2024 19:20

I was working in social services and had a breakdown. I'd been in that job 5.5 months (probation being 6 months) although I had worked in the council for three years at that point. They sacked me 3 days into sick leave. Claiming I was still in the probation period. I could have fought it given all my other rights (holiday/sick leave etc) had transferred so I feel my employment rights should have been stronger. But it was the best thing that could have happened as it was the job that was killing me

Petrasings · 14/12/2024 19:26

But yourself some time by getting signed off until Christmas with flu. Then investigate the best way, with proper advice, to navigate through. If it’s the job you can’t avoid that scenario op. He needs to retrain once he has recovered.

ExceededUsefulEconomicLife · 14/12/2024 19:27

@Littletreefrog if you want to be pedantic but he has no job safety.

Original poster
panickingwife · 14/12/2024 19:29

applestewing · 14/12/2024 19:06

Why is he going to get fired?
this doesn’t sound like the full story

Edited

I'm trying not to be too specific. He hasn't done anything terrible, it's just that the job isn't what he expected and is impossible to do

OP posts:
JustMyView13 · 14/12/2024 19:30

You can self certify sickness for the first week. Just tell work he’s in bed with Covid / norovirus / similar, buy a week to decide next steps & speak to citizens advice.

ThatIsNotMyNameSoWhyAreYouCallingMeThat · 14/12/2024 19:33

Startingagainandagain · 14/12/2024 18:45

''ThatIsNotMyNameSoWhyAreYouCallingMeThat · Today 18:33

He has no employment rights for 24 months in a new job,''

That's a daft things to say.

'Employment rights' cover anything from paid holidays, notice period to sick leave which apply from day 1.

Also if he has a long-term mental issues and a history of depression that is classified as a disability which implies protection from discrimination.

Anyway, back to you OP, he really needs to speak to his GP to look at what can be done. His health is more important than a job in the end.

Okay. He has no protection from dismissal for any reason other than discrimination of a protected characteristic for 24 months.

Better?

He only has protection if the employer knows about it, and if it meets the threshold to be considered a disability. Hence my question.

Patienceinshortsupply · 14/12/2024 19:37

Better to resign and say the job isn't for him than end up getting the sack over failing his probation. I know what I'd rather declare to my next employer.

TooMuchRedMaybe · 14/12/2024 19:38

panickingwife · 14/12/2024 19:29

I'm trying not to be too specific. He hasn't done anything terrible, it's just that the job isn't what he expected and is impossible to do

Show quote history

Is it that the workload is too much? Has he expressed to them how working there impacts him? There might be a way to make it work.

Original poster
panickingwife · 14/12/2024 19:53

It's the kind of job where the expectation will be that he can either do it or not.
He is a skilled, capable person - but I think this job is impossible to do. He's a shell of himself because he's been working flat out trying to do it.

I would tell him to quit but we'd have no state help if he voluntarily gives up employment.

OP posts:
biscuitsandbooks · 14/12/2024 19:56

He should get himself signed off, get some sleep and look for a new job.

And one off "blip" in an otherwise great history of employment shouldn't be a problem.

ExceededUsefulEconomicLife · 14/12/2024 19:58

panickingwife · 14/12/2024 19:53

It's the kind of job where the expectation will be that he can either do it or not.
He is a skilled, capable person - but I think this job is impossible to do. He's a shell of himself because he's been working flat out trying to do it.

I would tell him to quit but we'd have no state help if he voluntarily gives up employment.

Probably why the job was available in the first place. Bless him - I've no doubt he has the sympathies of almost everyone on this thread.

He really needs to take a break and focus on recovering and moving on. He doesn't need to worry about them or their thoughts on it. They probably knew this was coming. Get a great LinkedIn profile together and get on to the relevant agencies. Best of luck Flowers

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