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Sandy Toksvig's prescription for a happy relationship...

61 replies

CurlewKate · 13/12/2024 15:15

"Use the buddy system. When you're scuba diving, you are responsible for your buddy's welfare and your buddy is responsible for yours."

I like that.

OP posts:
MaryJosephandCherylnotJesus · 13/12/2024 19:17

Surely we should be responsible for our own welfare, first and foremost?

Plus, ST tends to speak a load of tosh anyway. Ya know, like claiming that men can be women.

AnyFucker · 13/12/2024 19:20

Not someone I would rate relationship advice from….

Littletreefrog · 13/12/2024 19:22

I'd rather follow the airlines advice. Secure your own mask before helping others

AnyoneSomeone · 13/12/2024 19:24

Love Sandy. Didn't take long for the anti trans lot to derail another thread.

PerkyRobin · 13/12/2024 19:27

I agree with her.
DH looks after me. I look after him.
I’m not a big advocate of self-care/ putting your own welfare first.
Too many relationships end because of selfishness on one side or the other.

JollyHollyMe · 13/12/2024 19:29

Is she noted for her fidelity within relationships?

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 13/12/2024 19:30

AnyoneSomeone · 13/12/2024 19:24

Love Sandy. Didn't take long for the anti trans lot to derail another thread.

It's not 'anti-trans' to understand that men can't be women and vice versa. You know, basic biological fact.

Anyway, yes, she talks shite.

Littletreefrog · 13/12/2024 19:32

PerkyRobin · 13/12/2024 19:27

I agree with her.
DH looks after me. I look after him.
I’m not a big advocate of self-care/ putting your own welfare first.
Too many relationships end because of selfishness on one side or the other.

This is great in a healthy relationship not so much where the balance is off.

TheyCantBurnUsAll · 13/12/2024 19:43

While nice in theory it's a terrible idea for many relationships. Women will inevitably put more effort on than men in too many couples- that's already the pattern we have.

RenoDakota · 13/12/2024 19:48

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 13/12/2024 19:30

It's not 'anti-trans' to understand that men can't be women and vice versa. You know, basic biological fact.

Anyway, yes, she talks shite.

But this thread is NOT about your tedious obsession with trans people. And yet it gets shoehorned into every single subject on here.

FrannyScraps · 13/12/2024 19:50

RenoDakota · 13/12/2024 19:48

But this thread is NOT about your tedious obsession with trans people. And yet it gets shoehorned into every single subject on here.

Agree! Just had it on a thread asking for a recommendation for tights!

RenoDakota · 13/12/2024 19:53

FrannyScraps · 13/12/2024 19:50

Agree! Just had it on a thread asking for a recommendation for tights!

🤣🤣
I think that is the funniest and most tentative link to 'the subject' I have ever heard.

CurlewKate · 13/12/2024 19:54

As far as I know she has been happily married since 2007.

As it happens, I have disagreements with her on trans issues. However I think she is right on many other things. Including this.

OP posts:
PerkyRobin · 13/12/2024 19:57

FrannyScraps · 13/12/2024 19:50

Agree! Just had it on a thread asking for a recommendation for tights!

Was it don’t buy snag by any chance 😂😂😂

FrannyScraps · 13/12/2024 19:58

Yup! It's so boring.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 13/12/2024 19:58

RenoDakota · 13/12/2024 19:48

But this thread is NOT about your tedious obsession with trans people. And yet it gets shoehorned into every single subject on here.

I didn’t bring it up.

Cableknitdreams · 13/12/2024 19:59

PerkyRobin · 13/12/2024 19:27

I agree with her.
DH looks after me. I look after him.
I’m not a big advocate of self-care/ putting your own welfare first.
Too many relationships end because of selfishness on one side or the other.

Absolutely. Taking care of each other is what it's all about.

Acrossthemountains · 13/12/2024 20:01

I agree with her. Me and dh look after each other and our marriage is very strong as a result. We each know someone always has our back, even when things get really difficult.

CurlewKate · 13/12/2024 20:03

@TheyCantBurnUsAll "While nice in theory it's a terrible idea for many relationships. Women will inevitably put more effort on than men in too many couples- that's already the pattern we have"

I agree. It's a terrible idea if both people don't buy into it. A fantastic idea if they do.

OP posts:
Sunblessed · 13/12/2024 20:07

She’s known to be prickly in the entertainment world and not very friendly.

So maybe that’s why she can devote so much time to her other half’s well being- because she couldn’t give two hoots about others.

Sunblessed · 13/12/2024 20:08

She was difficult to work with on the Bake Off, she even acknowledged this herself

AnyoneSomeone · 13/12/2024 20:08

Sunblessed · 13/12/2024 20:07

She’s known to be prickly in the entertainment world and not very friendly.

So maybe that’s why she can devote so much time to her other half’s well being- because she couldn’t give two hoots about others.

Do you know her then?

LostittoBostik · 13/12/2024 20:09

PerkyRobin · 13/12/2024 19:27

I agree with her.
DH looks after me. I look after him.
I’m not a big advocate of self-care/ putting your own welfare first.
Too many relationships end because of selfishness on one side or the other.

I think this is a good point.

As a parent, we naturally put our children's welfare first. Yet it's harder to do that in a romantic relationship even though it's an expression of love.

Of course it only works if they are meeting you in return.

Sunblessed · 13/12/2024 20:10

AnyoneSomeone · 13/12/2024 20:08

Do you know her then?

I said ‘she is known’, I didn’t say ‘I know her to be’

Thats quite simple to understand

Livinginaclock · 13/12/2024 20:13

She thinks that men can be women so I don't take her seriously on anything else.