My sad friend is ruining my hobby and I feel an absolute bitch!

[Firefly45]

I have a hobby..let's say it's fishing.

I go with a friend once a week fishing and we chat on text through the week. I used to love fishing with her because it was a few hours escape where we had deep conversations about life, space, society and I felt like it was an escape from real life.
(I am in a caring profession and spend all day with vulnerable people listening to problems. I also have other friends and family who I support).

For the last 8mths my friend is having terrible problems at home in her family. It's awful. So sorry for her. It's ongoing and I don't know what she is going to do. I do genuinely feel for her so much.

My problem is that she unloads to me while we are finishing. Every session we spend talking about her situation at home. I think I'm only outlet for her to talk to. We also talk about it all week on text.

I've started dreading going fishing. I come back not relaxed just exhausted and sad. I used to love that fishing session.

I feel so bad tho. She's a good friend and having an awful time but I don't think it's going to resolve anytime soon.

I'm at the point now of wanting to make an excuse not to go fishing.

She's been a wonderful friend to me but I need my hobby for my own peace and relaxation.

Don't know what to do?

I agree, use 'fishing' as a decompression time for both of you. Arrange another time so she can offload. However, if she needs weekly support then she could access NHS talking therapies or a parenting course for parents of teenagers. Both are very helpful in these scenarios. You can then support in a way a friend would a longside the professional support.

I feel so bad for you.. Because you work with people with needs... Work/family and now friends too... You need to set boundaries for yourself.. Don't spread yourself so thin... Think what is important to and for you... You loved your hobby and now it's more like work... You come away more stressed then relaxed... Plus the on going stress with constant texts during the week. Advise your friend to seek help in her situation and tell her your feeling overwhelmed. Sounds like you have a busy life but seek out a new hobby that souly focused on you and if you get to meet ppl great.. Yoga was a great thing for me... Got to the class... Completely focused just on me had a brief chat with someone... Came away feeling amazing because I had time for me. X

Honestly OP just stop the hobby. Any excuse. I’d think about closing the friendship Dow - BUT that depends though if she is genuinely going through a hard time or is vampirically self-centred generally. Only you can say.

Then take up the hobby by yourself in 6 months or a year?!

There's no need to stop the hobby. You can continue it at home in private if you wish and and if you can and just stop the social aspect of the hobby for now.

Thank you. I'm very fortunate with them. We're having our annual Christmas day out next week in a beautiful UK city. One will drive in my car, then they'll look out for me. I'm weak but still me, just limited.
We do all still have so much to look forward to and I hope to see as much of it as possible. I never hoped I'd see all of my DC to adulthood. DC3 was 18 recently, now that was a reason to celebrate, not that I told DC.
DC1 is married to my wonderful DIL. They have gone through the pain of loss and infertility. Now that is hard to watch, but what is amazing is early next year they're expecting a little girl. I'm pathetically excited.
One of my close friends is also getting married next year. I live hooked up to a machine over 20 hours most days, in pain with an obviously scary prognosis. I'd much rather discuss DC, GC, weddings, holidays and their gin consumption than having a pity party because I managed to develop something so rare I've never met anyone else with it. x