How much is it possible to do with a broken ankle?

[Dawevi]

DH broke his ankle at the weekend. He's not in a lot of pain but it does ache and obviously he's on crutches. I've never broken a bone so I don't know what's reasonable to expect from him, because he's done nothing but sit on the sofa since and I'm struggling to do everything (we have two kids with additional needs who are at home all the time).

Obviously I have to do all the driving but could he be doing some light housework or cooking? Or is he right to be doing nothing at all? I asked him to write some Christmas cards and he hasn't even done that.

I'm getting really stressed with everything that needs doing for Christmas and the kids, I also have loads of work on and yesterday I had to beg him to play with our youngest so I could actually get it done, I cried in the car on the way to Tesco because I'm so overwhelmed with everything (we have a lot going on, it's not just Christmas stuff. Like DD has a college thing next week that he was going to take her to, because I'm taking DS to something at the same time, and he was just like "oh I can't take her" but didn't look for alternative arrangements or anything, he left it to me to sort out).

I didn't want to put this in AIBU but am I being unreasonable in wanting him to try and do some stuff, especially stuff that can be done sitting down? Like I said I've never broken a bone so I really don't know.

I had a simple fracture a few years, that required only rest in a fracture boot.

If his ankle is still aching, even when he's not really been doing anything, then I'd say he still needs to rest.

Once pain-free, and beginning to weight-bear again, then he can probably do some stuff (mobilisation is usually recommended to promote healing) including things standing at a sink or in front of a hob. Once he can weight-bear, he can do a lot (though if he needs a sick/crutch, he won't be able to carry much stuff)

If drooped on the sofa, he can do all the Christmas wrapping, write any cards you send, and plan/order on line whatever is still needed; also possible to arrange seated ways to do the ironing.

He can put his leg on the stool like he is doing at the sofa.

Has to keep the ankle at least at hip height, preferably higher

OP you sound like you are hanging by your last thread, I realise, but honestly give him a couple of days before you expect him to contribute ANYTHING. He just won't be any use for a few days.
Start dropping or cutting down on things, given your circumstances. Christmas cards for a start.
He can start at least playing board games with the kids from the weekend, doing online shops, sorting out transport for the kids etc. But he can't cook.
He could probably peel potatoes if you park him at a table, but he can't carry anything. Buy takeaways, ready meals, etc for the next couple of weeks, get the rest of the family to muck in, throw money at it if you can afford it.
Get through Christmas any way you can.

I’m 4 weeks post operative for a leg break…complete across the top of tibia. For the first week I was on oxycodone the pain was that bad.

I still at 4 weeks post op cannot shower without my DH support. I can just about stand up and wash up but only if someone stacks the pots where I can reach them. And I can run the Hoover around with care. Absolutely no way I could have done this in the first 3 weeks as my foot would swell and go purple within 3/4 minutes of standing.

Can’t do the washing because I can’t move things around easily.

I suggest giving your DH a break (pun intended) for a couple of weeks.

Then he needs to claim the AL back, go sick at work and use the AL another time.

I have broken a few leg bones over the years. I took all my prescribed pain meds, got myself a knee crutch, and got on with life as best I could. A knee crutch takes all the pressure off the sore bit, so if your DH got one, he could definitely use it to do food prep etc, and a bit of light housework. Obviously any sitting down jobs are well within his reach, so supervising homework, doing home admin at a desk etc should fall to him. You can do the bits that need two good working legs!
If it's of any interest, I worked out how to do my gym routine while isolating broken bone. Don't let him play the martyr!!!

This.

My sister's doctor was adamant about this.

He needs to rest and heal. OP needs to accept that this won't be a normal Christmas.

I felt absolutely dreadful for about a week when I broke my ankle.

Varies a bit but nothing that involves standing or walking about. Anything that can be done while sitting down with elevated leg :)
Cast or ankle boot?

Cast at the moment, back to fracture clinic next week for another x ray.

He's been doing some phone calls and stuff he can do from the sofa so that's calmed me down a bit. There's just so much to do

Yeah that's not the same. His ankle should be raised at hip or heart level or above. Sure he can rest it on a stool for a few minutes while brushing his teeth or making some sandwiches, but it's really not advisable to do it for too long.

You wouldn't want to know how much of a bother he'd be if he couldn't rest his broken ankle and let it get worse. Let the poor man rest! Fwiw, using crutches is exhausting and can be painful on the hands and arms.

Expect him to be out of action until he's out of a cast and walking normally- even if that isn't convenient for you!

Scale back as much as you can. Broken bones require rest to heal. DH broke his wrist one Christmas and was so
high on painkillers all he was good for was child cuddling. So that’s what he did. Mum/PIL helped me and we just muddled through. I was due to travel for work the week after which didn’t happen and was stressful but DH is pretty stoic and practical and he just had to rest.

I was absolutely fucked when I broke my ankle. I lived alone so barely ate the first week as I couldn't carry anything. I bum shuffled a lot, particularly trying to get upstairs and downstairs. I spent about 3 months sat on the sofa and basically existed on social media. Can you tell I'm still traumatised about it. 😂

Jeez he only did it at the weekend!

Putting it on a stool is not sufficient elevation. It needs to be above his heart.

I was still in hospital 3 days after breaking the bottom end of my tibia and fibula, and dislocating my ankle. After having the whole lot pinned back together I was in plaster for 6 weeks, then in a boot for several months. I was also off my face with pain medication for the first couple of weeks (cocodamol makes me spaced out).
I had to keep my foot elevated to heart height when sitting or sleeping (no fun when I was sleeping in a single bed downstairs. I had a zimmer frame rather than crutches for a month too and couldn't manage the stairs). Physio initially was wiggling my toes and increased activity once I was in a boot. I was off work 6 months, even though I do a desk job too.

I've had a broken ankle and it was so painful, more so than the leg I broke. I was non weight bearing for 6 weeks. It's not even been a week, give it time.

He's had a lie down this afternoon, I promise I'm not making him do stuff! I've listened, I had no idea a broken bone was such a big deal, he's being looked after I promise.

broke my arm just over a week ago, can't lift my arm, drive, pick up things etc and have constant pain. been told not to move my arm until another review in two weeks. i have never broken a bone before and i can confirm the pain is something else! its tiring and i cant get comfortable.

I think it depends massively on the break.

My mum broke her ankle and we went on holiday two days later, a multi-base week long city break, including going in sea pools, and staying in apartments with no lift up 4 flights of stairs.

She was on crutches and in a fair bit of pain, and I had to manage her luggage. We still did over 10,000 steps a day.

If she'd had a complex fracture I don't think that would have been realistic, but I certainly think making some food would be. If he's going to be off his feet for the next 6+ weeks, would it be worth buying a stool for the kitchen so he can sit on that and chop veg/stir pans etc?

In borne my leg just above the ankle and was incapacitated for weeks. I was not allowed to weight bear. I couldn't t even carry a cup of tea and was not nice to balance on one foot to drink it once made. I could only go up and down stairs on my bum. I couldn't cook either.

I broke my ankle aged 24 ish. As I was alone with a 3 year old I stayed with my parents for the first two weeks so they could help. After two weeks I went home and managed on crutches. I slept upstairs, going up and down on my bum, had my child on reins and cooked etc. You adapt.

I knew someone who worked in a rock climbing centre, they could work/instruct/belay and climb all while in a cast/boot.

Probably not what you want to hear but when I broke my ankle I was bedbound for a month, couldn't drive for 6 months, and was so out of it on painkillers for the first week or so that even doing the Christmas cards would have been a struggle.