What's your life stage at 40.

[Oreyt]

It's a mad age really I think. Some could have a 22 year old. Some might have a newborn. Some are happy childless. Some could still be trying.

I'm 40 with a 12 and 14 year old.
Married 10 years. Together 18.
Never had a career.

I'm 38 so I'll age everyone up two years.

At 40 I'll have been with dh for 22 years and married for 12. We'll have dc aged 18, 16 and 9.

It's fascinating to read the different summaries. Some with adult dc and some with newborns!

I'm on the verge of 40, have been with my DH for 23 years with have a 21 & 11 year old. Great career but feeling bored, contemplating starting a PhD in 2025. Huge mortgage, half way through renovation which will go on for a number of years. Got into fitness in 2024 and love it.

At 40, I'd been married for 16yrs, 2 DCs 13 & 9. Working FT in Finance for a small organisation.
I'm glad I met DH young, we married in our 20s and had DC1 a few years later. In a few years, the DC will be moving on to Uni and College, I'm enjoying their independence.

How did you manage to start a career at 40? Did you retrain, start from the bottom or just continued a line of work you got in before 40?

42 single with 4 dc aged 25, 18, 6 and 4. All of them are autistic and 3 have adhd, one also has other mental health problems. Life is busy and at times chaotic.

Turned 40 this year.

Dc are 21, 16, 13 and 9.

Married 13 years

Never had a career until last year when I qualified as a teacher, absolutely hate it and leaving in 3 weeks!! Looking for a part-time retail role instead.

Rent social housing, have made the decision not to buy (at least with a mortgage) and to enjoy life instead.

Pretty happy with my lot

42. 13 year old and 11 year old. Contently married. Own business and house. Not much time or money for much else. Fatter than I'd like to be, tireder than I should be but mostly quietly content with my lot.

Not quite 40. Been with my partner since we were teenagers.

No kids or marriage, by choice.

Just sold our business that we built together over the last decade for a couple of million, paid off our mortgage, plan to travel the world together. We have Peru, South Africa, Australia and Japan on the list so far. Other suggestions welcome! (Not Europe).

I’m 40.

Been married for 6 years and we have a 1 year old.

Ok job - have progressed up the grades in the Civil Service

I was married with four children 22,19,12 and 8. Working part time whilst my husband drank all day and night. I'm now divorced working full-time and living alone with my cat.

Working full time. Parent of a 12 and 10 year old.

I’m 42 with 11, 9 and 4 year olds. Been married 15 years. Own our house, no mortgage, he’s flying in his career and mine is now taking off nicely. I find life tough though as it’s so busy and I miss the early days of courtship and dating.

38. Two kids. One preschooler and one in year 7. Been with dh 7 years, married 3. Have a nice house and a whopping mortgage but that's mostly down to Dh who earns a lot more than me. I work part time in a job I don't mind, it's not really a career as such but it helps towards the bills and gives me a nice balance.

I have friends with kids who are basically adults now and friends who have babies. Some friends are travelling the world. It's an odd time. I don't think of myself being close to 40, in my head I feel closer to 18! But I definitely have noticed signs that I'm ageing both in terms of looks and health. Big health kick for me in the new year.

At 40 I was single, childless, coming to terms that I wouldn’t have children, trying to sell my flat to buy a house and I had a very nice job but poorly paid.

Now I’m 43, I almost finished refurbishing my house, childless and…starting to worry about being alone when I’m old. Same job doing something valuable but not well paid.

Some things worked out better than I ever envisaged (for eg I never thought that I’d ever own a house or be a senior manager). Other things worked out worse - growing up I was 100% convinced that I’d get married and have children. But not everyone gets to have everything they want. It’s still hard when I see friends that I grew up with getting everything they wanted. But I know I’m lucky and have to make a conscious effort to count my blessings

I turn 40 next year and will have a 6yo and a 3yo. Been with DH for 12 years. I work part-time currently for childcare but may increase when then 3yo goes up another day at nursery. Although I quite like working three days so perhaps not! I do a lot of volunteer work with young kids so that keeps me on my toes I've lost a lot of weight and am at my slimmest in a decade so I feel pretty good about myself!

When I was 40 I'd been married just over 10 years had a 9 year old and a 6 year old, and I had slightly older kids than my other friends with kids. When my parents were 40, they had a 12 year old, a 15 year old and a 17 year old

I'm 40ish with a toddler

Not quite 40 yet but single, childless and in low paid work.
I feel very ashamed of my life and it also terrifies me that technically I could be a mum to my 22 year old colleagues....

I know what you mean about a funny age though.
My best friend is 39 and became a grandmother this year, but I have a friend pregnant with her first baby at 41. That's why I find it easier to talk about what life stage I'm at (mother of teens and young adults, hitting the stage of more freedom and opportunities then parenting young children provides) as opposed to my age

Me too!

44, can't work, no kids, have a DP though.

That sounds great. The marriage and kids thing could still happen! I know 43 is closing doors for bio kids, but you never know what’s around the corner. Best of luck.

At 40 I was heavily pregnant with my daughter who is 22 years younger than her brother.

I’m 43, recently got married to my partner of 9 years and feeling very happy and content. I have one DC who is 11 from a previous relationship. Pretty well paid job in which I can work 4 days per week so I feel I now have a good work/life balance. Mortgaged house but have built up a decent amount of equity and would like to have it paid off in the next 10 years. Always thought I’d be married in my 30’s with 2 children but life didn’t go that way - still I’m happy with how things are.

Ah I’m so sorry but don’t despair. Life can change in an instant. I was suddenly single and childless in my late 30s. Within a couple of years I met the man of my dreams and am now a mum of two. It can happen for you too! In my lowest moments I recited to myself the same words “if you keep a green bough in your heart, the singing bird will come”. Mine did, and yours could too. Good luck.