Worried about dc growing up to fit in all the Christmas experiences

[Purplegreenredblue]

Worried about dc growing up to fit in all the Christmas experiences. There’s only a certain amount of time you have, to take them to places like Lapland, Disneyland, Christmas lodges and holidays, days out. Does anyone else feel like this?

If it's what you think you need to do OP stop worrying and start booking things then.

You might not get through you whole desired list but hopefully you will get through enough

Kids don't really remember stuff before the age of about 4, so if your kids are younger when they go to Disneyland remember to take lots of photos so you can show them when they are older.

I would also check your IRL social circle, if most of the other families around you can't afford these festive excursions it's polite not to mention them, it will come across as boasting, but if your social circle are all doing the same perhaps you can do a group booking and go together.

So just stop worrying and get on with it.

What a braggy post. No give your head a wobble. My DC missed out on all of those experiences as did most of their friends.

Many people are worried about affording to feed family, keep house warm enough and if they can afford a few basic presents (never mind luxury Christmas trips.

😂 such worries

The best Christmas we had was the year we were snowed in and I could just drop all of the worries that I wasn't doing enough Christmas activities with my children - who are now teenagers and don't even remember most of it now anyway.
Make your children feel cosy, nurtured, loved, respected, listened to. It's the feeling that they'll remember, not the stuff.

Nope!

my children have never had those experiences and don’t mind at all.

their happiest memories of Christmas involve playing with cousins.

My daughter somehow has three. (Please) Let me send them your daughter. You can give me the gift of not almost falling downstairs, not having the stick around the leg.

I genuinely feel sorry for you if you think that somehow having a loving family celebrating a holiday with “basic” things makes for a childhood that’s missing something.

Lapland, Disneyland, Christmas lodges and holidays,

These experiences are very expensive and beyond the reach and desire of most families, certainly to be doing multiple times during childhood.

They're also a very 'Disney' idea of how a childhood Christmas should be - like living in the Home Alone house, or a Richard Curtis filmset, they're fantasies.

I wasn't short of money but never did these things when my children were young - we had a big decorated tree, big gifts beautifully wrapped, pantomimes, and plenty to eat etc., but never felt the need to indulge in a big fantasy experience.

This 100%!

Nah. Same as I thank the Lord I had a childhood without mobile phones and iPads.

It’s all superficial OP, everyone has told you the memories of simple things at Christmas is far more important. I remember how exciting it was to see my Nan arrive at Christmas, I used to run to the top of the hill with my friends to see her little head bobbing along. Going to see Father Christmas in the local Coop. Putting up the tree with my mum. Cracking nuts for my Dad. Waking up at silly o’clock to open our presents with my siblings. The smells of the Quality street tin and Satsumas (tangerines then). Laying the table for Christmas dinner was all so exciting. I would never ever trade those memories for a trip to Disney. Never.

No. We don’t have that kind of money…
Shopping Centre Santa is just fine for us!

If you want to do these things fine, hopefully your kids will enjoy them and you will too. But if it becomes a source of worry and unhappiness about cramming them in or taking money from other things that might be more important, then it’s negative and probably an anxiety thing for you.

I get it, honestly, but it’s not a list of must-do things and if you book a thing or two and see how they go, combine them with some of the lovely free and cheap ideas from this thread, you should all have many happy Christmases to come. 🎄

You might also want to think - if you can afford these things what if your kids grow up and earn less? You don’t want them thinking that you can’t have a lovely Christmas without expensive trips or that’ll be a big stress for them when they’re older.

I feel sorry for you and your family if you think that those things are the most important at Christmas.

You are aware that capitalism creates this, fed by social media hawkers, sold to you as a lifestyle?
Let go of the child-guilt-FOMO and relax.

I had a great, privileged childhood, with horses, orchards and endless fields to roam. I had everything I needed, especially support and love.

My dad had a fear of flying so we never went on holiday, at any time of the year, overseas.
We spent every single holiday in Snowdonia. Great memories, but at the time I thought my family were so boring!

We didn't have a media created checklist of things to do. Most weeks were simple - school, books, tv, riding, walks, occasional restaurant or NT event once a year. There were NO organised trips, no Franchise related spending (Disney, etc) or constant consumption of 'experience'.
I guess we just made our own, and we were a fairly forward thinking family.

Remember, 'experience' has been commodified now too.
People are paid a good deal on SM to sell you that desire to purchase more and more experience. It isn't something we do naturally any more, or truly desire. We are merely puppets to a capitalist generated bucket list of what life ought to look like.
It's depressing.

A happy child does not need you to continuously throw money at corporate to experience joy. A happy child does not need to be 'switched on' all of the time.

The MN generation often bemoans the loss of how awesome many of our childhoods were compared to today, yet don't seem to think that their own children can be left still for 5 minute so that they can develop their own imagination and ideas.
In childhood, there is no such thing as idleness. The mind is perpetually alive. Allow it to have some time to process and dream.

I think some people are taking it a bit far with kids would prefer making gingerbread men than going to Disney - because for lots of kids that simply isn’t true . My children are now adults , we didn’t have social media back in the day , it may have existed but not in our family . We went to Disney Paris every year in the week before Christmas and did the steam trains , lights etc . We did FC as a story so Christmas was never based on any perceived magic , it was just magical and has stayed magical . Both of ours love Christmas , the decorating , buying gifts , visits etc . We still do lots in the run up to Christmas , we can afford it , we have the time and we enjoy it . We don’t and never have done things to be instagram worthy , we do things for us .

Honestly do not worry about this. You don't have to do all of this and your kids will not be massively deprived if they don't. We will never be able to have a holiday over Christmas because of the limited amount of time we get off work in school holidays so no Christmas lodges, Lapland, Christmas Disney etc for ds . We tended to book one Christmassy thing like a Santa visit, Christmas train type thing per year which made ds perfectly happy. He is 11 now and although Santa visits are a thing of a past there are still plenty of fun things to do every Christmas like theatre, ice-skating, light trails etc. He loves Christmas and is already counting down the days!!

Did they enjoy Disney? Or get overwhelmed by the amount of things?

I totally agree with the poster that said Christmas just is magical for children. The nature of it is exciting. Seeing that "he's been", the anticipation, food and festivities, mum and dad watching you in the Nativity play at school, the lights etc are all part of the Christmas magic.

We have the money and time to take DDs to lapland or Center Parcs or these other expensive trips but we choose not to. It sounds extremely busy and it's not what Christmas is about for us. Children need to learn to appreciate the little things, it doesn't always have to be about what looks good for Instagram. Or going bigger and better each year. That way stress and disappointment lie.

I suppose our Christmas for DDs is very similar to the 90s Christmases I had as a child. Stockings hanging over the fire, lights up around the living room, board games, drinks parties for grown ups and children being allowed to stay up late, seeing family, making a wreath, lighting the advent candle each evening, watching films and the Christmas tree.

The most we do in terms of expensive activities is the panto each year which we all love. They throw sweets out into the audience and DDs are always giddy with excitement for it. They are no worse off for not going to Finland in December.

Thankyou all who have contributed.

Lots of these things were around when my dc were little.
They are adults now, and it is our family traditions that they talk about, and the things you do each year will become your family traditions that your family will reminisce about and talk fondly about.

There really isn't correlation between the things my young adult dc will come out and say "Do you remember when ....." about, and the amount we spent on things. Not just at Christmas - but day trips , holidays and experiences.

No. I used to until someone wise pointed out to me that there is a difference between doing everything and having fun. If you can't take DC to some things because the years have been filled with doing others, what does that matter? Its the fun and joy they're having not the activity itself that counts. Relax and enjoy the Christmas you're having rather than looking past it to what you might be missing.

Its a recent thing that children have to do loads of expensive things to make Christmas "magic" mine were the generation where a visit to Santa's grotto in the department store in town was what was on offer, too much pressure on parents nowadays my kids got to open one of their presents on Christmas eve and had just as good Christmases as everyone else

No

Thinking back to my childhood, it was family coming that excited me. Going to the garden centre to choose the tree. Making cards and ornaments. Seeing the old decorations coming out of the box like long lost friends.
I went to see Santa at Hamleys a few times. I remember the shop and the queues more than the grotto.

The Christmas after my dad died, I remember family concentrating on coming over to us. Getting upset because mum left it rather late and couldn't get a real tree which probably hit disproportionately hard because choosing the tree with dad was one of our festive rituals. But she managed to get a little live one in a pot for my bedroom that I managed to keep for a few years.

Childrens' memories are based on emotions and cut into soundbites with time. Big corporate stuff can't touch genuine memories like the horror of the cat climbing the tree and smashing half the decorations!

With my DCs I've done a couple of local Winter Wonderland days over the years. At 13 last year DS1 wasn't fussed about anything festive. DS2 10 requested a breakfast with Santa. He didn't believe and wasn't keeping the parents believing either, but it was a nice morning out for us both and it's a happy memory.

But going through Christmas with a gigantic checklist and going big ignores what is personal and meaningful.

I still get excited about Christmas trees, lights and carols. They're the bit that make it Christmas for me.
Especially if puncuated with some mince pies and mulled wine.

@Purplegreenredblue no Disney has never overwhelmed them , even Orlando . We have been going to Disney Paris since our eldest was 1 , just after it opened and go a few times a year usually .