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Worried about dc growing up to fit in all the Christmas experiences

228 replies

Purplegreenredblue · 24/11/2024 13:21

Worried about dc growing up to fit in all the Christmas experiences. There’s only a certain amount of time you have, to take them to places like Lapland, Disneyland, Christmas lodges and holidays, days out. Does anyone else feel like this?

OP posts:
Fizbosshoes · 24/11/2024 17:58

I had a pretty limited budget when my DC were little but I hope they have good memories of the things we did together. Often we used to go into London at the end of November with a pack lunch and just look at the lights or go to a free grotto. That's not to say they wouldn't have enjoyed other more exciting or expensive activities but I don't think they felt they were missing out at the time. I agree with the sentiment though, that there is a certain special magic when they still believe in santa that is almost lost once they know, and I think there are probably lots of ways to tap into that, some more expensive than others.

DD is 18 now and were trying to fix a date to do a tour of the lights in London

Purplegreenredblue · 24/11/2024 18:20

Cru- yes Finland

OP posts:
CruCru · 24/11/2024 18:27

The only people I know who went to Lapland in Finland took their children out of school to do so.

I would love to see Lapland but not to be particularly Christmassy. I probably can’t afford it (which is fine).

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Frowningprovidence · 24/11/2024 18:28

The magical years are short, but most people manage to make them magical without going to lapland, Disney, holidays or lodges. Don't feel pressured.

like pp, my children don't seem to remember the things we did do anyway. We went to see a lovely local father Christmas for a few years, it involved a miniature railway. They can't remember it at all.

NoSquirrels · 24/11/2024 18:45

The thing about the magical ‘believing’ years is that it’s actually not possible to make them more magic - the magic is just inherent for small kids. It’s there in the shopping centre Santa and the school hall Santa and the cheapo ‘reindeer food’ and the Christmas story books and the advent calendar and the lights and the tree and the decorations. It just is magic already in the believing years. Anything extra you spend money on is for your pleasure, not your kids’ benefit. And like everything else in life, sometimes we can’t do everything we want. And that’s OK.

Save your expensive efforts for the later years. By then you’ll realise you don’t need it all anyway. Your kids will tell you!

pinotgrigeeeeo · 24/11/2024 19:14

Purplegreenredblue · 24/11/2024 17:09

So if parents had the money and time, would they think differently then?

See my post two posts down.

I have the time and the money and no I don't feel differently. I don't want to do it.

Beezknees · 24/11/2024 19:17

I took mine to Lapland. No regrets. If you can afford it do it. Disney can be done at any time of year though.

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 24/11/2024 19:19

Purplegreenredblue · 24/11/2024 17:09

So if parents had the money and time, would they think differently then?

We have both.

It's still not something we feel we have to do.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 24/11/2024 19:21

That's not Christmas you're talking about, OP. That's Insta. People going on all these expeditions and outings so they can TALK about going on all these expeditions and outings and put up photos on their Insta so they look like the perfect family.

Most kids just want to dig in the mud with a stick, run through the woods and stroke pigs. They give not one tuppenny fuck for walking in a decorous fashion looking at lights or going on 'holidays of a lifetime' which they won't even remember by next year.

Honestly. Simple is best.

Purplegreenredblue · 24/11/2024 20:38

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 24/11/2024 19:19

We have both.

It's still not something we feel we have to do.

But do you do it?

OP posts:
EspanaPorfavor · 24/11/2024 20:42

We have the money and time.

we did Lapland. But not at Xmas time. The rest we don’t do. It’s performative and not actually enjoyable. Xmas is busy enough as it is, it’s nicest when it’s calmest. Money and time is spent on summer!

DappledThings · 24/11/2024 20:43

Purplegreenredblue · 24/11/2024 20:38

But do you do it?

I have both the time and money to do all these things if I wanted to. No, I don't. Nor have I ever felt any pressure to do so.

LittleBearPad · 24/11/2024 20:45

We have money, less time but could if we chose.

We were randomly at Centre Parcs in the run up to Christmas once. Wouldn’t have dreamt of going on purpose for Christmas. It was fine. It wasn’t much different to any other CP holiday.

Probably would have done Lapland had it not been for covid. So we didn’t. Meh.

YABu and a bit ridiculous.

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 24/11/2024 21:05

But do you do it?

No.

Christmas is relatively simple in our house. We stay local and spend time with family and friends.
DS is 10 and the most extravagant thing we've done is a visit to Santa or an afternoon at the Xmas markets.

Namechangeforthis88 · 24/11/2024 21:13

After reading this thread, I asked DS (15) what his favourite things about Christmas were. Big family gatherings, stockings and board games.

NewName24 · 24/11/2024 21:15

reluctantbrit · 24/11/2024 16:37

Do what you think you want as a family but don't think this is in any way mandatory.

We did local NT santas (they are great) and one garden center, we started when DD was 5 and stopped at 9.
We do the light walks since she is a teen as a nice day out, we often go with a group of friends. Similar with ice skating.

Disneyland, Lapland and all kind of lodge holiday - whatever rocks your boat and is in your budget. Most children survive growing up without them. I know 1 family who did Lapland and one who did Disney in December. Lapland looked amazing but I am not prepared to spend my annual holiday budget on a 3 day trip.

We did several trips to Germany but that's because I am homesick in December and we visit family most of the times.

What we do normally:
tree buying trip
baking
movie nights
making arts and craft when DD was younger
watching her at school or drama club Christmas show
going to a carol concert

These are the things which will stick in your child's memory, not Center Parc.

I agree with most of this ^

Whereas places like Lapland, Disneyland, Christmas lodges and holidays were never on the radar, so there was no concern to "fit it all in"

EthelMcUnready · 24/11/2024 21:21

Is this post "humble bragging"?

Gymmum82 · 24/11/2024 21:21

Mine are just at the age where they’ve stopped believing. Off your list we’ve done Lapland U.K. That’s it. They haven’t missed out. They still love xmas. They loved the garden centre santas when they were young. Now we do panto and xmas light trails.
Lapland is just horrifyingly expensive. Thought I would have liked to go. Everything else nah. I’d rather go to Disney in the summer than at xmas.
Centerparcs is overpriced and a bit crap so definitely wouldn’t waste money on it for xmas.
My kids love spending time with family none of the material nonsense

Burntout101 · 24/11/2024 21:26

Nope. My children have seen Santa at garden centres and Christmas fairs. We've been to one very overpriced light show and Harry Potter Forbidden Forest twice. They will probably not go to Disney as kids as I can't think of anything worse.

Burntout101 · 24/11/2024 21:26

Oh and local theatre pantomimes

ChanelBoucle · 24/11/2024 21:28

Practicing carols for weeks on end at school.
Haphazardly helping my mum to decorate the tree.
The smell of the tree.
Parents having drinks at their house on Christmas Eve.
Going through the Radio Times and planning my TV schedule.
Going out to pick up the turkey on Christmas Eve.
Going to Midnight Mass.
Walking around the village on Christmas afternoon.
Coming down to find that Father Christmas had been.
The crackle of excitement on the oh-so-silent night before Christmas.

All of these made Christmas magic enough for me, and I bet most others look back and feel the same.

scalt · 24/11/2024 21:41

Another vote for preferring ordinary Christmases.

I never once had the childhood experience of "visiting Santa". I don't think I would have liked it; I found people dressed as Santa creepy, and I would have known at the age of 4 or 5 that it was an ordinary man in a Santa costume, even if I believed that Santa actually existed (I did believe in the tooth fairy for a while). I was actually a bit baffled when I was older (8 or 9), and heard about children doing this.

twentysevendresses · 24/11/2024 21:41

Jesus is this what you think parenting is all about? 🤦‍♀️ What on earth is happening to the world now??

No...you DO NOT need to do ANY of those things with your children.

Ozgirl75 · 24/11/2024 21:46

I feel that if you ask a load of 40 year olds “was Christmas fun and magical for you as a child?” a lot of them would say yes. I know mine was, and we didn’t do any of the showy stuff you’ve mentioned as it wasn’t on the radar back in the 80s.
My favourite memories are having loads of unusual chocolates in the house, getting one of those chocolate stockings, Carol singing, finding a sack of presents at the end of the bed, going to church and it smelling lovely and looking really nice.

PotatoBreadForTheWin · 24/11/2024 21:52

TheaBrandt · 24/11/2024 13:27

The magic is you spending time with them and doing stuff. Making mince pies etc not these fancy headline activities. Mine are older and they remember getting the tree and decorating it and having Christmas eve dinner with granny. They never mention visits to father Christmas etc. Its all marketing/social pressure dont fall for it.

100% this. Think about what you remember about Christmas from your own childhood, I bet it was the simple stuff