Things they don't do on telly or in films

[Dillygaf]

Appreciating that it is impossible to represent every nuance of everyday life on the screen, what annoying things don't happen on screen that do happen IRL?
For me, it's not adjusting car seats. How is a 5'4" person suddenly able to hop in a car that's just been driven by someone of 6' 2" without spending several minutes moving up/down/forwards/backwards. etc.
Also (mainly American) no-one says goodbye at the end of a phone call and most family meals are comprised of mashed potato - does anyone eat a roastie or a Dauphinoise?!

and the lack of sleep!

action drama always leaves me exhausted thinking about the lack of sleep

Sex and the City also had one scene where Miranda struggled to breastfeed.

Back to the breakfast theme on soaps, Phil’s latest squeeze cooks a massive fry up all ready for him to come down the stairs and eat it, Phil comes down to breakfast declares “I aint hungry” grabs leather jacket and storms off, latest squeeze picks up plate of delicious fry up and scrapes it angrily in the bin, always with a close up of the scraping.

This one always gets me, detective arrives at a crime scene, spots what looks like a pool of blood, decides to stick fingers in said pool of blood and rubs their fingers together with a curious expression on their face whilst examining their fingers.

Because that area code doesn't exist, and if you actually use a real person or business's phone number on a TV show, that person will get a lot of crank calls and will be rightfully annoyed. It means you can say or show a phone number in a scene but it's always uncallable.

Put it in the fridge for butties later FFS, don't waste food. There's nothing better than a bacon, egg and sausage sandwich for lunch.

This is literally a scene from The Last Action Hero:

'Shoes off in the house'

I want to use the NHS services available to Corrie or Emmerdale residents. Everyone sees a doctor immediately and there’s always a hospital bed in a private room available. Nobody ever has to wait 3 weeks to see a GP or spend 12 hours sitting on a plastic chair in A&E!

They call an ambulance and it's there in minutes.

The local cop shop only has 3 police who turn up for everything.

Everyone goes to the local cafe for breakfast even if they are unemployed and broke and live virtually next door.

A family of 7 can live in a (5?) up, two down terraced house.

I watch too much Corrie.

Someone asking for a 'pint of real ale' in a pub - no one says that.

I quite like the Diplomat (utter hokum) as they do mention needing to pee - a lot.

Never arrange a time to meet - just 'later'

They never say what time it is. Whenever someone asks the time, the answer is 'it's early' or 'it's late.' I've never understood why they can't just say what time it is!

I'm thinking more of River. Rarely eats, sleeps only when knocked unconscious 😆.

Americans often hate the taste of alcoholic drinks, wincing as they drink icy vodka from the freezer - why don't they just add it to some orange juice? And if they're edgy they drink tequila, but act as if they've just swallowed vinegar.

They say 'I can explain', or 'let me explain' rather than just explaining! The misunderstanding is necessary for the rubbish plot but cities have so easily been cleared up in a moment.

On the peeing point, I remember many years ago watching Starsky&Hutch, and our delicate British sensibilities being shocked by them not only peeing and talking about it, but actually leaving the bathroom doors in their apartments open so we could actually see their loos!

When examining a crime scene, the main character detectives wander all over the place poking at things with a random biro they had in their coat pocket, wearing a pair of latex gloves if you're lucky. Where are the full body and head covering special suits, masks, the metal plates for stepping on? You can't pick up a gun with a biro and drop it into a paper bag then hand it off to a waiting constable as you snap off your gloves, that's not a proper chain of evidence.

They never, ever date strangers. Which you can argue is to be expected in a soap, but the fact that soap writer's rarely introduce new people to the community via an established character is odd. Unless you're a troublesome ex coming back to haunt, of course.
And everybody seems to erase their relationship history within five minutes. Phil Mitchell is the obvious example. Kathy back in the day, and Sharon God knows how many times, and Kat, and then Denise for five minutes. Even Tracy behind the bar. Linda is bound to make it into his bed soon. None of them bat an eyelid as they hang out with each other on the daily.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but depends on the car. I can hop into dhs car and it automatically changes to my settings without me doing anything (it recognises my key) so the car is ready to drive without me having to move the seat or mirrors or anything.

They never say thank you when given a drink of any kind.

Thos one really irritates me in Coronation St.
They always have a big private room, where there are endless unhurried nurses and doctors, and they can stay in hospital until they are completely recovered. No waiting on hard chairs in A&E overnight, no being turfed out of the ward at 2am in the morning...

Nobody ever works their notice period, in fact there does not seem to be such a thing. But if somebody does resign and then changes his mind, the post is still available and no grovelling to management is required.

Sorry but going the other way, 1 thing they DO show which they shouldn't is girls and women peeing!
I mean is nothing sacred?
I can understand them showing boys or men because they pee together and they're often continuing conversations or making comments. But we don't.
In real life we need privacy. And we ought to be allowed it in films too.
OK not necessarily a majority opinion. But it's mine.

Likewise sticking the tip of a dampened finger into a small packet of sinister-looking white powder and then licking it. Could be rat poison for all they know.

As for all the (sometimes days-old) blood at crime scenes. Bit too bright red still, isn't it?

People very rarely eat in films. Unless it's part of the plot. Even in a scene at a dinner table, no-one eats.
When it shows someone making a bomb or preparing/using class A drugs, they never show it accurately enough, presumably to stop it becoming some kind of instructional video for degenerates! 🤣