Things they don't do on telly or in films

[Dillygaf]

Appreciating that it is impossible to represent every nuance of everyday life on the screen, what annoying things don't happen on screen that do happen IRL?
For me, it's not adjusting car seats. How is a 5'4" person suddenly able to hop in a car that's just been driven by someone of 6' 2" without spending several minutes moving up/down/forwards/backwards. etc.
Also (mainly American) no-one says goodbye at the end of a phone call and most family meals are comprised of mashed potato - does anyone eat a roastie or a Dauphinoise?!

Have kids that whine or ask questions or pull at you. Instead they stand there when you stop for a chat and then when you say 'go play while Mummy talks to Kate' the actually do what you say!! I envy this more than the movie star hair or body.

The decisiveness when making an arrangement. There's no 'do you mind if we make it 7.15?' Or when they do say a location they always say 'meet you at 7 at pub name'. In reality it would be 'you know the one beside the cinema with the green awning' or at very least 'I'll send you the details'.

I think script writers can be a bit lazy, there is no attempt at character in work based dramas or action. Even the ex detective come out of retirement for one last case or the double agent /soviet spy has trivial conversations about dinner or traffic or weather. The script often only deals with the subject matter which makes everyone talk only in profound statements and comes off a bit ridiculous. It's one of the reasons I don't watch action movies.

They had it in The Handmaid's Tale! Also, pretty realistic labours, unlike most shows where the mother's waters break and the baby pops out straight away whilst Mum is lying on her back with feet in stirrups of course.

I've never seen a TV show where the woman in labour is told to go home and come back later because she's only 1cm dilated, or similar!

They say 'No, wait. I can explain!!' whenever there is a misunderstanding, sometimes twice. Or 'it's not what it looks like!' But they never do explain. Sometimes it's only one sentence like he's my cousin or Tom borrowed my phone earlier. But no, we must have a drawn out exit scene and a pointless reaction that we all know will be resolved ultimately.

No one ever seems to have a spare room in the massive house, which has huge rooms, a den, a ginormous amount of real estate square footage.... oh no! They all have to sleep on the settee with just a pillow and a flimsy sheet or blanket.

It's always "wah wah wah, my waters have broken" and never "babe, I just went to the loo and my mucus plug has plopped out"

🙄

@PowerTulle Soaps are particularly guilty of characters ordering 'a pint' or 'a glass of wine'. I'd love to try this in a real pub and see what response I got. 😂 Surely they could at least say, "A pint of lager" haha.

I found an outlier - I just watched In Her Eyes and was lots of Loose Women on the telly 😆

And then the person leaves and the one with the information just stands there like a dick. Or they follow them to explain but can’t go past the front door for some reason!

Foreplay! It's kissy kissy moany moany slidey inny, thrust, thrust, massive similtaneous orgasm.

I'd fit in a lot more shagging if I could get it done as efficiently.

There are Jaffa Cakes and whisky in the TV show too. And a fair few pub scenes, where sometimes they actually drink. People sometimes get a takeaway coffee too. Jackson Lamb has also had at least a couple of scenes eating food in his favourite Chinese place.

The sheets, the morning after, always covering up conveniently!

Nobody ever seems to realise that it is a really bad idea to:

Go to meet someone in a mystery out-of the-way tumbledown old barn in the middle of nowhere, particularly if it is beside a lake.

Accept a drink from someone you don't trust.

Climb the stairs in the pitch dark to see where the funny noise is coming from.

Arrange to meet the police later so you can give them a tip-off.

Get into your car at night without checking for surprise villains in the back seat.

Live in any village which includes the word 'Midsomer' in its name.

Also glass of wine in the bathtub?? Is this a thing in real life?

Always from behind too these days.

Not with my lumbago @Dontlletmedownbruce 😂

The not making proper arrangements drives me bonkers. Bloke asking a woman he doesn't know well for a date. She says yes. "Great, I'll pick you up at 8". I sit there getting anxious about how he's going to know where to pick her up from!

Deciding at the drop of a hat they are leaving Walford to make a new life elsewhere, by the next episode they are leaving for pastures new with all their worldly goods in one small suitcase, no worries about accommodation or jobs in pasturesnewland, just get in the black cab and it’s all sorted.

Jackson Lamb sleeps. And looks terrible on it!

The thing that annoys me the most is kissing/sex upon waking. Imagine the minging breath.

Toilets are the obvious. They're never in one, unless they're taking a pregnancy test - or conveniently standing in a stall while fellow actors are discussing a terrible secret.
They never just text or look at their phone when sat at a table and others around them are chatting away.
People never just seem to cross the road unless they're getting run over.

Nobody ever uses electric toothbrushes. I don't know anyone who uses a manual toothbrush, but they all do on t'telly.

The previously mentioned empty cups and suitcases are a bugbear of mine, along with people being shown driving a car when it's patently obvious they aren't. I'm sure the car thing wasn't so obvious in the past.

Also the timing annoys me.

Like in Gossip Girl when the characters were able to travel the length of Manhattan to meet people and have arguments/sex/whatever before they even went to school.

Have so much as a wash after an orgy. Nope, massive night long shagathon and then dressed for work/pick up the kids. They must reek of sex.

They do say a pint of Zero in Corrie

Deal with a heavy period, especially when having the inevitable "accident".