Solitary Christmas

[niadainud]

If you're single and childless* and not spending Christmas with parents or siblings what will you do on Christmas Day?

I have friends, including ones who live locally, but not any who ever include me in holidays or family occasions, so I'll probably be spending it alone with my cat. I sometimes go away, but it tends to be very expensive to stay in a hotel at Christmas itself.

Not sure what I'm looking for really - perhaps just solidarity, plus some ideas for what to do to pass that time other than watching telly and eating chocolate.

*Please don't tell me you're spending it with your partner or adult children, as that will just make me feel worse!

There's another thread going on at the moment:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5208541-sacking-off-christmas
That OP has planned out a nice day.

I'm in a country which celebrates on Christmas Eve. I usually go for a walk in the morning. In the late afternoon I have a fondue. Then I open my Christmas presents (for me and the cats). The cats play with their new toys.
I usually buy myself a handful of books and a couple of jigsaws in the few months running up to Christmas and wrap them up when I've bought them. By the time Christmas comes around I've forgotten what I bought so they are a surprise. Sometimes I buy myself chocolate, new pyjamas or a new jumper, bath bombs etc, just whatever I feel like buying that particular year.
In the evening of Christmas Eve I might watch a Christmas movie or a favourite film or read one of my new books.
On Christmas Day I go to church and I have lunch with some people there (but it's not like a UK massive Christmas dinner because the main celebration is on Christmas Eve here). Then back home and chill out.

I often spend Christmas Day alone, no parents or siblings or even cousins. I prep some festive foods in advance (keep in ridge/freezer if necessary) so minimal cooking on the day.

I tune into my childhood church (abroad) for the carols, I send and receive messages from distant friends (never call or be called on the day).

Some festive tv, quite liked Last Christmas or Bob the cat or maybe something I had recorded previously.
Occasionally do something that needs a block of time with carols in the background, eg minor craft or sewing repair.
There is always mumsnry of course 😊

I’ve spent a few Christmasses alone - some have been hard but others have been great.

I found what worked well was planning some treats. So I got in some special food to enjoy and planned out my meals. I also treated myself to some special books and saved some good TV to watch. If you have hobbies/special interests, I’d also plan some time on this and maybe get yourself a hobby-related present to enjoy. As I usually work full-time, it felt special and a treat to have the free time to devote to these things.

i also saved my Christmas cards and opened them on Christmas morning together with any presents I’d received.

If you ever go to church, going to watch night service and Christmas morning service can be nice. Also agree with getting out for a walk.

Add all those components together and you’ve got a pretty fantastic day!

On one occasion I stayed in a hotel and got a really great deal and really enjoyed the change of scene.

I actually find the days after Christmas the hardest. However, I found that distant family and friends were much more open to meeting up then — most people are desperate to escape from extended family by this point. So a lot of friends were open to Boxing Day panto, lunch & walk, etc after Christmas. Plus, I like a look round the sales, etc.

Just make sure and plan in advance as it can be a tough time being on your own. But a lot of people are in a similar position - so do not feel you are alone

Sounds good. I take it you've got some good comfortable shoes!

Just had a look. It's on Twitter/X. Details come out closer to Christmas.

I will happily spend it alone with my cats, probably with earplugs in so as not to hear the noise from the usual grandchildren invasion from other units in the village! I don't care about Christmas, haven't for years. It always feels stupid being in summer here in Australia anyway.

I would want to make a feature of it being a day spent pampering and resetting myself for the year ahead.

Buy yourself a stocking of small presents for the day: a book you'd love to read, some really luxurious bath products, maybe some mani/pedi or facemasks or body lotions if you like that sort of thing or a deep conditioning hair treatment; a scented candle (if you like them); a beautiful notebook and a nice pen so you can spend some time journalling and making plans for things you'd like to do, see, visit, achieve next year; a gorgeous new mug and water glass etc; a planner for the year ahead.

Buy yourself some new music - on CD or online, and line up two or three films you'd love to watch.

If you want to line up some work out gear so that you have an incentive to do a morning yoga session or workout online.

Plan a menu of your most favourite food ever, ranging from healthy superfoods to very indulgent treats.

I'd spend some time with the notebook, daydreaming a wish list of outings - any gigs or exhibitions you'd like to see, distant friends or places you want to visit, home revamps, fitness or career goals, books you'd like to read, classes you want to sign up for etc etc. Then get the new planner and start scheduling some of these into your diary for next year.

If you need/want to, plan when to chat by phone or Zoom with any family or friends, so that this fits into the flow of your indulgent day rather than interrupting it.

Do a stocking and food treats for the cat too. And treats for any wildlife in your garden.

My dream day!

I spent 2 Christmas Days totally alone 20 years ago (by default/choice, just separated, implied I was going elsewhere to adult children and friends, etc). The only way that worked for me was to ignore the significance of the day as much as possible and treat it like another boring Sunday (or Easter weekend, they were the worst). So, if it happened now, I'd eat and drink well, save a couple of decent non-festive films to watch, perhaps do some online shopping or holiday searches and carry on reading a book I'd already got into. I wouldn't go out at all (what, be marked down as a a Norma-no-mates?). I'd have a bubble bath and an early night and pat myself on the back for my non-festive day. To mix with jolly families and (smug) couples in matching jumpers to be avoided at all costs.

Drive to seaside & watch people take part in Xmas fancy dress swim in sea for charity.
You don't have to take part, can just watch & chat to the people.

Then go for a brisk walk along the beach

Will be just me and my cat too. This has been the case for many years now post divorce. I have no family.
It’s a bit sad but you get used to it and at least I don’t have to put up with or cater for twats.
Maybe we should start a thread on christmas day itself for those of us without human company?

This year is my second Christmas away from home but first alone. My sisters and I are flying home on the 28th (we're all in different countries) to spend New Year and a few days either side of it with dad, but Xmas Eve, Day and Boxing Day I'll be on my own. Haven't really thought about what I'm going to do, but I'm looking forward to some me-time without having to think about work etc.

I spent last Christmas with my now-ex, and it just drove home for me that I needed to break up with him, which I did a few weeks later. Felt (and feel) a bit robbed of the experience last year but I have a slightly more optimistic outlook this year.

https://www.goldfromthestone.org.uk/

I actually love spending Christmas alone, I do have a husband but he’s on a night shift this Christmas Day so sleeping during the day and then leaving in the evening for work. In the morning I will go to church, then I’ll walk the dogs and then it’s just like a regular day without work. I’ve spent the past 6 or so Christmas’s by myself for most of the day or just me and my husband when he’s not working. We don’t really celebrate Christmas anyway so it is just another day of the year. We don’t bother putting up decorations and don’t do gifts as we just buy what we want all through the year. Im not some sort of scrooge by the way, I don’t have children and not close to my family so I realised years ago why force myself to go to my parents (they do invite me) when I don’t want to be there.

I've just seen this thread after posting on a thread elsewhere about probably being alone on Christmas Day this year, and having had to do so last year.

I can't go away as I'll be hosting extended family on boxing day. So last Christmas Day I spent a lot of time preparing and catering for the day after. I don't want to end up doing that again.

So I'm hoping that other people's (hopefully indulgent) ways of getting through the day will inspire me this year.

I get in a bottle (or two) of champagne, lots of smoked salmon, a tin of Quality Street and a box-set to watch. It’s bliss.

I’m alone with DDog and DCats. I’m going to have venison Wellington for my Christmas dinner, an individual sticky toffee pudding and wine. I’m saving up Rivals to watch.

I am now in my 60s and since my sister died seven years ago I have spent each Christmas alone, I also did it a couple of times in my 30s as work schedules demanded it.

So what do I do? Well I buy a project present, this year, it's a leather handbag making kit, and I also buy some books, hobby bits etc. I shan't be buying a jigsaw this year as I have an Advent calendar jigsaw so will have gotten my fix by then. Food wise, it can be anything from turkey, boeuf en croute, salmon... although this year, I am thinking rack of lamb but in other years I have bought Christmas nibbles and grazed. I start each Christmas, just like my mum used to do, sausage rolls (these were the badly shapen ones she could not give to guests), a satsuma, back then with a cup of coffee but now with Bucks Fizz. In the morning it is Christmas music & R4 and calls to friends, then in the afternoon a good book, a leisurely prep of a lateish dinner. Then some festive favourites on the TV.

Christmas is what you make it in your head, there is nothing wrong with having a cry for friends and family no longer with us, but do not wallow, you are still here and have the power to make it what you will. And in case no one else is around to do this for you, Merry Christmas, remember you are loved and important. xxx

You need to add this otherwise people will report (as I did) what looks like a dodgy link, and the other places you posted it. It looks good, let people know!

”The Foundation's primary concern is The Christmas Dinner project. The Christmas Dinner was founded by Lemn Sissay in 2013 with the intention that no care leaver would be left alone on Christmas Day.” (from https://register-of-charities.charitycommission.gov.uk/en/charity-search/-/charity-details/5106875#)

In no particular order or level of drama I can recommend:

• Volunteering to take breakfast/lunch to people living rough and chatting to them and the volunteers. Chocolate is very popular.
• Carol singing in hospital. Chocolate for the nurses and any patients who are alone is also popular. As is prosecco (shhh).
• Wangling invites to not-desperately -close -friends' evening celebrations as they're all a bit fed up with each other by then and you are a welcome new dynamic. Take wine and a smile. You also get fed leftovers, and that's the best bit of the dinner.
• Flying to the Southern Hemisphere and spending it on a beach. (Dramatic.)
• All of the cosy 'food that you like, beverage of choice, fire on, box-set out' scenarios above.
• Going for a walk and wishing everybody you see a happy Christmas.

What about starting a thread on here that we can all pile onto with how our day is going? That way even if a few of us are feeling a bit down, there's people here to blow a raspberry at.

I've spent the last 11 years on my own at Christmas. I don't really do Christmas so it doesn't bother me. My friend spent years inviting me to stay but as there's no trains on boxing day it would have meant 3 nights and that was a bit too much for me.

I've got a dog now, so we'll go to the park on Christmas day like normal, maybe see some of his friends. I'll cook dinner at some point. Previous Christmases I've painted the living room, or my bedroom. Just pottering doing useful things!

I've always thought that if I was spending Xmas alone I'd go away somewhere where they don't celebrate Christmas - turkey or Morocco perhaps. Then it's just a lovely solo holiday and you can forget what you might be missing.

Your menu sounds lush

In laws one year & then one on their own I imagine. It's pretty normal. Life isn't the same as when all the family lived nearby & you could see both sets of parents the same day.

EDITED to say. Sorry, didn't realise you posted this days ago!!

Added to what I said before - I'd managed to forget going to the Christmas lunch here for the first time last year. The food was dire (ham and turkey slices, blech - give me a good roast chicken with peas and spuds) and the silly hats and crackers for a bunch of 70-something virtual strangers is embarrassing, not amusing, to me. I'll gladly skip it this year.

@Catsmere, love your nickname 😹