Solitary Christmas

[niadainud]

If you're single and childless* and not spending Christmas with parents or siblings what will you do on Christmas Day?

I have friends, including ones who live locally, but not any who ever include me in holidays or family occasions, so I'll probably be spending it alone with my cat. I sometimes go away, but it tends to be very expensive to stay in a hotel at Christmas itself.

Not sure what I'm looking for really - perhaps just solidarity, plus some ideas for what to do to pass that time other than watching telly and eating chocolate.

*Please don't tell me you're spending it with your partner or adult children, as that will just make me feel worse!

I usually do
Exercise - peloton ride or weights
Soak in the bath and a face mask/paint my nails
New book
Films
Nap
Nice food

Not a huge help but one of the things I love doing on a Christmas morning is going for a walk. Just me, in a local wood (or similar). Bonus points if it's cold and frosty.

The world is so still and quiet and I find it to be surreal and almost magical in the quiet.

Thought I'd mention it in case it appealed?

There's a cafe in my local town which opens on Christmas day for people who would otherwise be on their own. They serve a free Christmas dinner and play games.(You do have to pre book so they know numbers). Last year they had around 40 people. So clearly lots of people are on their own at Christmas.
I'm sure this cafe can't be the only place that does something like this.

I've done a couple of Christmas days alone with my cat. The important thing to remember is not to get bogged down with the fact you're alone on that day, remember it is only one day and lasts only 24 hours. I got up late, had croissants for breakfast, I love Christmas dinner so cooked one for myself( chicken not turkey) but had all the trimmings, and individual Christmas pudding, one of those half bottles of champagne, cheese and biscuits, chocolates etc. Watched a film, read a book, did a bit of some of my hobbies( all solitary and done at home), the day goes past easily and it was absolutely fine, the thought of it was much worse than the reality.

Yes.

Last year I did a nice breakfast, went out for a long walk then came back for more food and lying on the sofa watching films with the cat. I needed a reset after a run of difficult family Christmases, plus the cat had only been with me for a couple of months so I didn’t want to leave her alone for too long. As a PP said, it’s just another day.

One Christmas, about 15 years ago, I was single and determined to do something different. I volunteered for Crisis at Christmas in London.

Hands down one of the most rewarding, heart warming (and also heart breaking) and memorable Christmas's I've ever had.

I'll never forget Christmas lunch - sat in a huge room of absolute strangers, with a cup of vegetable soup for my lunch, singing carols.

They used to hire volunteers every year, not sure of the process but can recommend.

I hope you have a lovely day whatever you decide to do 🙂

That sounds perfect!

I like this. Thank you.

Go on a lovely nature walk.

I have considered this, but I think it's too late now (and I don't have transport).

Lots of nibbles - cheese and nice bread and 'bung in the oven' party food, a couple of glasses of wine and a few Baileys. I save a book I really want to read, stick nice music on and watch a couple of films.

I think getting out for a walk in the morning is important, you can admire kids new bikes or scooters, and exchange Happy Christmases, and then go home to chesse on toast.

It's only one day, but I think it should be full of treats.

Can I ask...is not spending Christmas with them an active choice?

Thanks. It might - I think it will depend how I'm feeling on the day.

I do, but I much prefer it when I have people to bake for.

I only have 'Christmas' once every three years when my DS and DIL come to stay.

The other two years, I'm alone.

I have friends who invite me to join them and their families, but they all have cats and I'm very allergic to them.

It was a bit odd the first time, but I just slob about and eat strange things at strange times. Last year, I ordered a ready made Christmas lunch which was delivered by a local hotel. It was a bit meh tbh.

Try not to think of it being a 'special day'. Its just a day with Christmas specials on the TV!

Oh, that's worth knowing. Thank you.

What about volunteering or getting a job in a pub?

Yes and no. Basically my sibling's family and I take it in turns to spend Christmas with my parents. I could stay with my other sibling nearby, but my sister-in-law is a bit Mother Earth and I find the whole thing a bit much. It just makes me feel very alone as everyone else has a partner and children/grandchildren. Plus it's very crowded.

May I gently ask why you only see your son one Xmas in three?

I'm guessing that one year he goes to the in-laws and the other he either goes to stay with his father or they spend it on their own.

Christmas Eve is special to me and always has been. That's when I unwrap my gifts, eat a huge dinner and stay up watching films. Christmas day I'll have a lot of junk food and go out for a couple of hours' walk. I don't really like the fuss of Christmas so I restrict it to 24 hours, during which I let myself eat and drink what I want.

I think if being with your family makes you feel even more alone then I would advise feeling positive about not enduring that and embracing some of the ideas already given, especially the decluttering or painting ones, such a good use of time. Or consider inviting some neighbours over for mince pies and a glass of fizz in the morning?

I had several Christmas Days on my own over the years. I would either give myself a day off from everything dutiful and spend the time reading, watching TV or dozing on the sofa in front of the log-burner or I'd plan a project.

One year, over several days of the Christmas/ New Year holiday, I made new curtains and roman blinds for several rooms. Another time I deep-cleaned my flat and chucked out a lot of stuff I didn't need, which felt like a good way to end one year and start the next afresh. I also repainted a room one year.

I definitely found that having a project and thinking of it in terms of having the luxury to take time over it made a big difference.

I came close to spending it alone once but a well meaning friend wouldn’t take no for an answer and basically doorstepped me until I went to hers for the day. She meant well I know. Anyway, my plan was this…..

Christmas eve midday - travel to London and book into small hotel on Norfolk Square near Paddington station. Explain to the hotel that I needed a fridge in my room because I needed to store medication. This is important to facilitate the next part of the plan…
Christmas Eve PM - Last minute trip to M&S and Selfrdges Food Hall, Mainly for the atmosphere but also to get snacks for Christmas Day. Store snacks and wines in fridge.
Christmas Eve night - walk down Oxford Street and head back to the hotel to watch love actually. If I felt like it I’d stop in a pub for a drink.

Wake Christmas Day and have a breakfast at the hotel.
Head out to a Christmas service. Maybe St Paul’s Cathedral or somewhere local. Walk back to the hotel through Trafalgar Square, St James Park, Hyde Park. Maybe down Knightsbridge and look in the shop windows (might find this sad though).

Christmas Day afternoon/night - Fridge buffet and tv marathon.

I still hope to do it one day.