How much are you able to help your DC when they start adult life?

[Verbena193]

My parents very kindly paid for university, a house deposit, driving lessons and a first car.

We're not as well off as they were and university has now tripled in cost since I went. We have £10k saved for DS, he's 16. I feel awful that we can't give him the same start in life.

What are you hoping to be able to help your DC with?

@Goldplatedhinges This is exactly what I worry about. Dh and I plan to pull the plug after dd graduates in order to push her to make a proper living, one way or another. I'm the weak link in this plan - dh is firmer.

Our children are 21, 19 and 16. We have paid for driving lessons, first car and are currently paying for uni for our oldest and middle child. We’ll do the same for our youngest when the time comes. We also pay for their phones, most of their clothes and other expenses. When they want to move out, we’ll help them to buy a house as well. They’re all welcome to live at home for as long as they want.

My partner and I didn’t have any help from our parents and know things are even harder now, so we want to help our children out and are fortunate that we can. Our two older children work part time around university and save a lot of their earnings.

We paid living expenses at uni, and driving lessons. Our children moved back home after uni and live with us whilst they work and save. We can't afford to do any more for them, eg buy cars or house deposits but we feel we are helping them save for themselves by not charging them rent, only minimal living expenses.

I will help with uni costs, and driving lessons when they are ready. I don't envisage being able to help with house deposit much - but dd has chosen a high earning career path so hopefully that won't be a problem.

I think it's crazy the amount of help some dc get well into their 20s and 30s - I hope they appreciate it and realise how lucky they are!

I’m 51 and an executor on my parents Will and still don’t have a clue what they’ve got. It’s a state secret

I got very little from my parents at that early age but hot help much later from the surviving parent as a house deposit. I’m a single parent.
I have paid for driving lessons and DC passed.
I will be able to help through uni but not in a position to actually fund it all so minimum loans and fees will have to be taken.
DC has a trust fund (nothing to do with me) that might just stretch to a house deposit eventually. As well as some money coming to them from an elderly relative we are close to.
So all in all, although I’d hardly call it a “silver spoon” situation, it’s really pretty good all things considered.

Similar. My parent was poor and I was asked to pay rent. I left and started an adult life. I'd already been working for years so just got other jobs and went to uni. It's made me feel that situations like the above are mollycoddling, but then again I got into lots of debt as I had no nouse with that sort of thing.

My daughter is 10 and has her own bank card, and I am teaching her how to be a functional adult, clean, cook, manage a budget, and will support her throughout her whole life. I probably won't ever have large sums to do anything as the above though, but my main focus is ensuring she won't have to look after me and that she will be a resilient and effective person who is aware of how to live a proper adult life.

I think that's worth more than money.

We paid for driving lessons and living costs for uni (1y for dc1, currently starting y3 of 4 for dc2). Dc1 used one of our cars for around the 18m after passing his test until buying his own. He also has the benefit of still living at home at age 22 so minimal costs compared to own rent, council tax, utilities etc. We had savings accounts for them to pay at age 21. These are around 10k each. I have another 10k in my savings (small amount of inherited money) earmarked for each DC to help towards a deposit.

We should be on a position to help further once the university years are over but I'm not sure if that the best thing tbh, I want them to work hard for what they get and learn the value of saving