How long do you think it will be before people notice?

[Tulip8]

I've started a weight loss plan and don't plan on telling people apart from DH who is doing it with me.

My starting weight is 20st 13lb (horrific I know) and I've currently lost 17lb so weigh 19st 10lb.

Even I can barely tell so far! But I'm just interested to wonder how long it will be before anyone says anything/ notices. I think it might be when I get to 17 maybe even 16 stone.

Please no fat shaming, I've heard it all before.

If you've lost weight like this before, how long was it before people noticed?

I've lost 3.5 stone this year (16st to 12.5st).
It's taken since January but I do look dramatically different.

People who have not said a word:
-Not a single work colleague, I'm close with about 10 then work in a wider team
-None of my old, close friends (who I only see every few months or so, so only maybe 3 times this year), even the one who has weight-related health issues and we talking about her weight almost every time we chat (it's fine, it's part of her life)
-My brother, sister (& other halves) & my dad

People who have said something
-My mum (thank god)
-My godparents & cousin seeing me at wedding this summer
-My parent's French friends who visited this summer and I've only met once before. First thing they said hahahaha, very much implying 'you were fat before' (fair enough!)
-A friend from a hobby event I only see once a year

So that's 7 people who have commented and about 30 people who I'd say are of a similar 'connection level' who could have but haven't.

My mum noticed after a stone, I think anyone else it would have taken 2 but then they just don't like to say anything. To be fair, part of me not talking about it is not to put them in a difficult position. All statistics say it will go back on in a year or two despite me currently planning the opposite, so if/when that happens I'd appreciate them not commenting on the reverse! :)

This depends somewhat on context. My SIL is on weight loss injections and has been very upfront about it. I told her last weekend that I could see she had lost a lot of weight (it was, apparently, over 2st - she has been on them for about 3 months) and that she looked wonderful and glowing. She was definitely pleased and not offended by my comments. I wouldn't say anything to a person I didn't know well or who was losing weight quietly without any fanfare.

OP I would never dream of commenting on anyone's weight. Ever. Even if you'd lost half your body weight, I would keep any opinions to myself.

Forget others. Do it for yourself!

It's a tricky one to be honest.

Some people won't comment in case it comes across badly.

With some people it depends how their weight is distributed and where they lose first . For example, I have a huge belly, first to gain and last to lose. My legs start losing first, then arms, then face , then belly if I get to that. No one's going to mention on my skinny ankles are they(, if they even notice them)?

Then , something I've noticed , is a lot of people keep wearing the same clothes throughout their slimming journey. Yes, when you lose enough , they might start sitting differently, but it makes it harder to notice. Even more so, if they're the oversized /loose fit types .

Lastly, without meaning to sound like a dick , weight loss shows quicker on someone that has less to lose/are very close to a healthy weight, unless we're talking huge amounts in a very short period of time. A small but sustainable and consistent loss over a period of time will simply be less noticeable.

I'm similar in losing weight and it was only comparing photos of the same dress that I could see the loss of 26lb. I genuinely couldn't see any difference by looking in the mirror. But now I am feeling it in the smaller clothes that I have bought. Especially now they are getting too big. Keep going. You can do this x

Well done, great start. You might just get general compliments at the start as you look better but not realise it's the weight loss.
Good luck with the rest of your journey.

Congrats OP.

I have a friend who is doing similar. She’s kept it quiet from all our other friends but she told me. I don’t actually know whether to congratulate her or not and I know 🤦‍♀️

I was 15 stone. When I got to about 13.5 people started to comment. I guess the larger you are the less people notice until it gets to around the 2 stone mark and ultimately you start looking different as the clothes you wear change and show off your new shape. I'm back on it as piled it all back on. Good luck, the feeling you get when you see the scales showing a loss makes it all worthwhile! I've lost 10lb in 3 weeks, can't tell at all, but my blood pressure has lowered from very high to well within normal range, so it's not just about the outside visual.

I think if she's told you she's trying to lose weight would be okay, it's hard though isn't it as if say you look great some people take it as you mean they didn't before. Maybe just ask how she's feeling from making these healthier changes and then if she says good say it shows or something 😅

I’m not sure OP but good luck and well done so far - that’s a great start. What will be motivating is that the more you lose the more each loss will show as it’s over a smaller area, so your progress will sort of ‘speed up’ for instance, on me the difference between a size 12 and a size 8 is only 12lb. So less than you’ve lost already!

Do prepare yourself for what I label ‘unsupportive support’ when it becomes quite noticeable. Once you’re a size 14/16 people will label you as ‘super skinny’ and ‘don’t lose any more’. They’ll be feeling jealous and threatened and want you to fail. Don’t let them win 😁

When I weighed 21 stone, it took about a 4 stone weight loss before people started to comment.

Well done Op as well, you are doing great 🙂

Congratulations OP!. People noticed after I lost about a stone, it was more obvious to me because I was able to see myself without clothes but I think clothes do hide weight loss.

Thank you all so much for the encouragement! I am absolutely am doing this for myself (dh and I both are) and I don't overly want to discuss it with friends etc as I have issues around failing, however if I do well, it's always nice to hear that it's noticeable.

ill second the unsupportive support comments! My dad happily commented on me and DH gaining weight the past few years (IVF, Pregnancy, new born, house move and major work/life upheavals x3). We were well aware we had put it on 😂

now we are back to normal weight but still have some to loose and it’s all the backhanded compliments now- such as there’s no need to loose more, it’s winter you’re supposed to put it on etc.

youve got this op and I wish you the best of luck xx

So I'm still going! I've lost 33lb now and feeling good. But still no one has said anything. I feel it's a bit of a competition now with myself, can I get to 50lb? That will be over 3.5 Stone but I guess when you're as fat as me it isn't noticeable? I don't know. Is 4 or 5 stone noticeable?

As I said earlier, you could lose 10 stone and I wouldnt comment because it could be due to cancer, depression, weight loss injections... or any reason you might take offence at.

I think my friends and family would know it isn't due to cancer! Even my mum hasn't noticed. Or my colleagues/friends I see every day. Do you really think someone of 21st starting weight wouldn't be trying to lose weight in purpose? That's def unusual to think it would only happen by accident.

I would never comment on a colleagues weight loss. Friends whom I have complimented have not taken it well at all.

Your.mum not saying anything is odd, I agree.

Well done @Tulip8. I'm still going too - it'll be my one year anniversary next week. I was 14st2lb and now 10st12lb. Being under 11st feels like a magic number ✨️

I saw a couple of people at Christmas that I hadn't seen for six months so, they had seen previously that I'd lost some weight (prob around 2st), but this latest chunk coming off has apparently made the biggest difference. My mum claimed my face was unrecognisable (me: but you gave birth to me)😂

That's why my assumption that it isn't noticeable feels more accurate. She would def say something (always supportive, she wouldn't be critical at all) if she had noticed.

That's amazing! Well done. I think being slimmer every pound will make a difference. That's a great loss. Your start weight is my goal at the moment 😂

My hairdresser noticed it in my face. Otherwise no-one commented until I hit a size 12 in jeans.

Goodness what was your start weight? I think I'd have to lose about 10 stone to get there!

Woah! Well done @Tulip8 ! That's an amazing achievement, both the weight loss and sticking with a dietary change for over a year. I bet you do look different, and you will also presumably be healthier & finding it easier to exercise etc too.

I lost two stone last year (still trying to lose another stone) and only two people have mentioned it, despite it being quite noticeable. Even when I mentioned it during a conversation, there was very little interest or reaction.
I think there are a number of reasons.

1. People genuinely don’t see a difference (someone said this to me!).
2. They don’t really care.
3. There’s an element of jealousy involved. Not because they want or need to lose weight themselves, but that’s just the way they are generally.

Years ago, I lost weight after an illness and a ‘friend’ got quite shirty and - I kid you not - said, ‘but I want to be the thin friend!’ Then there’s the classic, ‘but you’ve lost enough now, haven’t you?’. Well done on your progress - onward and upward!