Age difference - 22 and 30

[OrganicKombucha]

Is 22 (girl) and 30 (boy) a significant age difference in a hanging out scenario (not dating, but making out, etc. but not full sex)?

I was just 21 when I met my nearly 31 year old husband, not an issue at all.

It is not a significant age gap.

Of course it isn't 🙄

Depends more on maturity than age. Sounds fine to me if girl is mature and has plenty of dating experience.

Adults are adults - do what you want at that age!

I would suggest if this is you, OP, and you are having to ask here then you are uncomfortable and not ready for this gap.

DH and I have a similar age gap, but I don’t think it’s great, tbh. We’ve wanted different things at different stages (children etc). I wouldn’t encourage it.

My 20 year old DD is dating a 30 year old. It doesn’t bother me, but her dad, my ex-h, is fuming about it.

until I reminded him that we had the same age gap

My first marriage had that age gap. It was okay at first, until I actually matured and became less of a compliant little wife. That said, there were a lot of things not right about that relationship in the first place, which if I'd not been so desperate to get married and leave home I probably wouldn't have put up with in the first place.

Making out lol

Has he got to second base yet?!?!

Don't sound like any of them are the ages OP has put.

Depends. Might make the younger one mature faster or do things earlier than she may have done otherwise. 21 sounds much younger than 22 to be honest so not sure.

Way older now but when I was a 30 year old man we'd have found one of our mates going out with a 22 year old creepy as fuck. At that age, you're like kids to a 30 year old.

We have a bigger age gap, but did meet until I was older. There is a big difference between 22 and 30, but less so 32 to 40 when it comes to life stages and potentially, to maturity. Both these issues can be navigated though.

That said, I would not choose it for my child. But we don't choose our children's partners. We just support.

8 year age gap with ex was a disaster. Now with someone 15 months younger ! I wouldn't do a large gap again.

When I was 22 I had just got together with a 36 year old. We met at uni where he was a PhD mature student. The age gap now sounds questionable to me, but no one in our families saw it as an issue. We married at 28 and 42 and were very happily married for 22 years until he died of cancer.

Our relationship worked really well, although my DDs are now almost-20 and 18 and I'm not sure how I'd feel if one of them brought home a man in his 30s. It would depend on the man!

The American teen-agers have woken up.

22 to 30 is no great difference. Its the fact 30 sounds bad to some people. 21 to 29 sounds fine.

It's not a huge gap in the grand scheme of things. However, a 22 year old, is probably at a different stage in their life to a 31 year old. As others have said, maturity plays a big part, on both sides.

I agree with this.

There's no hard and fast rule. There is a vast difference between one 22 yr old and another 22 yr old.

However this in a hanging out scenario (not dating, but making out, etc. but not full sex)? doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to me.

Half your age plus seven is an excellent rule of thumb.

This is right on the cusp, so could be fine, could be a bit creepy.

I’m assuming that this is you, because of the detail given about the sex, or lack of.

I think it’s quite a significant gap. I mean, I know there will be lots of couples where it has worked perfectly. But I think it’s always significant when one party is only just out of their teens and the other is at an age where it’s common to be thinking about settling down or buying a home or establishing a career. One of you has pretty much chosen the path their life is going to take while the other would potentially be waving goodbye to so many opportunities to try new things, meet new people, travel etc, just to fit in with the older one. I wouldn’t have dreamt of dating a 22 year old when I was 30. And I’d keep my opinions firmly to myself, but I’d be judging any 30 year old who did. I think it would be a bit selfish of them. I’d also be wondering whether the older party preferred someone young enough that they could mould them into the person they wanted them to be, rather than a person with the confidence to have their own mind.

What's the question?
Amd how does the 22yo feel about it? Is this just a casual fwb thing? Or do you think they want more from it??
This is massively lacking context.
The 22yo could be being exploited here but need more context to say that.. the age gap alone is not exploitative. They are both adults.

Seems okay. Depends on the individuals. A mature 22yo with an immature 30yo would work.

This

Eh? Seems fine to me. I was 25 when I started going out with then 38 year old DH. Now 28 and 41!