Age difference - 22 and 30

[OrganicKombucha]

Is 22 (girl) and 30 (boy) a significant age difference in a hanging out scenario (not dating, but making out, etc. but not full sex)?

You have articulated my thoughts much better than I could have, especially the moulding point and missing out on opportunities

I'd be having serious words with my DD if she was early 20's and a man in his 30's was interested in her. Theres always a reason their not with a woman their own age

This is such a ridiculous question...

It's not a significant age gap but a 22 year old is usually very immature in comparison. As a 30 year old female, I wouldn't have dated a 22 year old. I'd say a 32 and 40 year old is a whole different story. It's case by case at the age of your example.

OP isn't coming back.

30 isn't in your 30's, it's barely out of your 20's.
MN is so weird about adults having relationships with other adults, the only acceptable thing is to be with someone who was born at the same moment as you. Only perverts and deviants have any kind of age gap.

I think the problem with someone 30, or 29, is that they can often be thinking about settling down - starting a family, buying a house. People early 20s often aren’t, they typically may be more interested in partying, travelling, starting their career. Because of these differences there is a risk that one of the couple has to sacrifice certain life choices, and because the 20 year old is more likely to be naive or inexperienced they may be persuaded to make decisions by the 30 year old that they may not have otherwise. Obviously these are generalisations and may not be the case at all in this specific couple, as perhaps the 30 year old doesn’t want a child tomorrow, and perhaps the 22 year old is mature and happy to settle down. However these are general risk factors I’d be concerned about where I don’t know the couple.

But it's still 30. 8 years older than a young 22 year old?

Why would someone so much older be interested in someone with such little life experience?

More often than not, these big age gaps are because the older one is lacking, people their own age recognise this, so they have to go for aomeone younger and naive

I'm 30, I cant imagine going anywhere near a 22 year old. Their like children. Literally so young and still daft most of the time

So this the girl's first ever experience in hanging out/dating (although they're not even dating). First kiss, etc. The guy apparently has had a few relationships before. He's also the one who "directs" the progression of things.

The girl thinks she's an adult and can make her own choices. To her, it's mostly just curiosity (hormones I guess and feeling left out because people her age have boyfriends etc.) and maybe a bit of low self-esteem. To him, who knows what he's thinking. But looking at it from an outside point of view, it skeeves me out.

Depending on their stages of life, yes it is bad. A 35 year old dating a 43 year old? A 50 year old dating a 58 year old. Fair enough, they all have a lot of life experience

A 30 year old dating a 22 year old? Why? Just why? Aside from the 22 being naive and impressionable, what would a 30 year old be interested in a 22 year old for?

Maybe the people who just dont get it, have been fortunate enough to not be involved with an abusive man from a young age

I was 21 when I first started dating now DH who was 30 at the time.

Is there a reason why either one of them doesn't want sex? Are they just mates? If they are dating, which I imagine includes sex, then the age gap is pretty normal. It really depends on their characters, interests and life stages. If those are well suited then age probably won't get noticed much.

I wouldn’t care personally but interestingly my 21yo DD and her friends view anyone more than 2-3 years older than them as being too old and would question their motives for being interested in them.

Maybe, as seen as you still consider yourself children??

The guy wants sex. But the girl is not ready and not sure if she wants to have sex with the guy. I think it's really more of curiosity for her. I doubt she even likes this guy enough to make him her boyfriend.

They're not really dating (i.e., they do not go out, etc.), but just "hooking up".

I’m in my mid 20’s and I’d find it a bit weird. It’s obviously not awful, but 22 and 30 year olds are such different stages in their life. 8 years isn’t a big age gap, but I do think it’s quite a big gap at that age.

There is nothing wrong with a 22 year old (woman) dating a 30 year old (man)! However this particular 22 year old does seem very lacking in life experience.
I started dating my husband when I was 20 and he was 36....twenty years and two kids later we are still together happily.

My husband was 21 when we met and I was 30. I realise it's more unusual for the woman to be older but it's never been an issue and becomes less noticeable over time.

Given what totally immature porn addicted idiots men in their twenties seem to be, I’m actively encouraging my 21yo daughter to consider an older man.

22 year olds aren’t naive.

It's a life stage older.
Is ye quite immature?

If it's not you OP then there's not much you can do about it.

I met my husband when I was 21 and he was 31. I'm sure my parents had concerns initially but soon saw we were s good fit.

It depends on their personalities, plans fir the next few years and what they want out of life long term.