Age difference - 22 and 30

[OrganicKombucha]

Is 22 (girl) and 30 (boy) a significant age difference in a hanging out scenario (not dating, but making out, etc. but not full sex)?

I was 24 when I got with my ex, he was 18. he lied about his age he told me he was 22, then 20 (should have run a mile but stupidly didn't), he finally came clean after 6 months.

He was the one who wanted to settle down, I was the one who wanted to go and experience life and have fun. He tied me down and turned me into someone I wasn't.

So it works both ways.

I was 23 when I met my dh and he was 30. Married now 15 years. Never been an issue.

How very strange ,I'm 51 but dated men in my 20,s some younger some older, at 22 I was a,fully qualified mental health nurse, not a child.

Such as ??
Mumsnet is so weird sometimes 22 is four years into being an independent adult

When I was 22 I was a fully qualified mental health nurse ,not some daft young child.

She's not a girl ,she's an adult women and can decide for herself what she wants to do.
I think the problem is you are infantilising her.

That's nice for you 🙄

Your the one who thinks 22 year-old are basically children ,maybe you need a bit of life experience yourself?

No, people have different experiences and from my own experience, my friends and the countless threads we see on here, an age gap when one is so early into adult hood is a red flag. 22 year olds are children compared to 30 + If that's offensive to you, I dont really care 😅.

I thought I was grown in my early 20's. When I look back, I can see that I wasnt. Jobs ect mean nothing, its life experience that matters in relationships and if someone is very young and has minimal life experience and someone older finds them / their life attractive.... I think it's a red flag

This.

Plus I've no idea why anyone would think it relevant that it's only "making out" and not full sex. Quite a teenage distinction to make.

Are you dating a 22 year old? Is that why you find my opinions on the matter so offensive?

I agree. I'm 28 with a toddler and I'm very different to how I was at 22.

As you said everyone has different experiences and just because you were young and immature at 22 doesn't mean everyone was ,and of course jobs matter, there are 22 year old teachers ,nurses,paramedics etc etc all doing professional jobs that carry a lot of responsibility.

Don't be ridiculous, I'm a fat 51 year old 🤣
What 22 would be interested. In me !
My nearly 18 year son and my nephew, s 20,and 22 would be horrified 🤣🤣🤣

Deary me, clearly your just up for an argument of some sort? I dont know why....

Having a responsible job means absolutely fuck all and you should know this. Loads of people are functioning alcoholics, loads of paedophiles have had responsible jobs, loads of abusers have responsible jobs in care homes ect

People can put on a good show for work and then come home and be abusive, immature, lack boundaries ect and the fact you think a proffesional job shows maturity means you have no idea what it means

Someone close to me is teacher and was off to Amsterdam a few weeks ago getting stoned out of her head..and her ex boyfriend is in prison for being a paedophiles........ but the people who dont know that think shes a very responsible young woman ( shes younger than 25 )

God. The amount of professional women we see ion here being abused and you think having a proffesional job makes you safe from any of that? 🤦‍♀️

Vive la difference!

I got annoyed with your other replies but this one genuinely made me laugh

I know I'm sensitive to this subject as I have seen time and time again the damage a large age gap can bring. I see it everywhere.

If it's a nice man, then that's lovely. But these days, nice men are hard to come by and I personally feel like if someone cannt attract people their own age and go for younger people, then it is because their lacking in some area of their lives

The issue here is less the age and more the power and experience imbalance. I wouldn't be happy if this was my DD first relationship, she needs to be discovering these firsts with someone her own age. He is going to want to move on to be more serious soon and it sounds like she's quite vulnerable to me.

But there's not much you can do, they are both adults and she'll think she knows best.

There’s 10 years between me and DH, and that was fine until he hit his 50’s and the difference really began to show

No we just have different opnions
It's a talk forum that's how it works im not arguing professionals can't do drugs etc, but they can do that at any age
I'm just pointing out that 22 year old are not children some might act like children but not all.

I kind of agree with this. Me and DH were similar ages to this when we met, but we'd had fairly similar life experiences by then. It seems like OP is a total novice at any kind of dating/sexual experience, and the man isn't, which could be a problem.

Well I was 24 and dh 31 when we met. My sister was 19 and her dh 29 when they met. Both of us are in happy marriages but we also both went through rocky patches when we got to our 30s where we became more confident and developed strong feelings about certain situations so were less likely to tow the line. It took both our dhs time to adjust to our more outspoken ways. But once they adjusted everything has been good ever since.

If the 22 year old is you OP, I wonder what your background and culture is. In the uk someone of 22 is definitely not a child and many young people have been legally having sex for 6 years by your age. Many of these would be happy with an 8 year age gap, but not all. If you feel this man you are sort-of dating is directing things, this may not be the right person for you to make your first sexual exploration with. Someone nearer your age who you feel very attracted to may come along if you’re open to it.

It's fine if the girl is 22, other way round not so much.

@OrganicKombucha if she's unsure about it best not to bother. Sex should be something that you feel you definitely, passionately want. He certainly shouldn't be pressuring her. I'd say if she doesn't want sex she's best off not seeing him. But it shouldn't be based on the age gap alone as it's not really that big.