Never work in hospitality. Strangest things people have complained about.

[KnopkaPixie]

Here's some to get us started:

"There's broken glass on this steak."
It was fancy coarse ground salt.

"I can't eat from a square plate. It's bad feng shui."

Any more?

In my region of France, hospital omelettes and school dinner omelettes come from the same supplier and are made of dried, powdered egg.

Getting back to the hospitality (as in restaurant) theme - this same industrial catering company supplied more or less the same range of food to a lot of the hôtels as well. Plate it up nicely and you can fool a lot of people. Especially as room service. But if you'd lived in the area long enough to be put in the hospital, had a child in school or indeed been that child, you'd clock that cuisine instantly.

You'd also recognise the name on the side of the van or know one of the drivers.

In fairness, it's not just hospitality. Any shops, hospitals, doctors' surgeries, ecommerce customers (eBay the worst), any customer contact and they're nutters.

I had this week in the world of online selling "you didn't send me what I ordered" Now, this is a possibility so i went through everything and checked and we had indeed sent what she ordered.

When I explained this she said "yes, but i'm 86 and housebound so you should send me what i want, please replace it and but im not going to pay again."

so i said ok, just send it back and we'll replace it.

no she says i'm housebound and you didn't send me what i wanted.

it's all the same isn't it. just people being irrational.

Regular red bisto is vegan too.

Nope. It’s not American.

here I quote
”The first modern recipe for macaroni and cheese was included in Elizabeth Raffald's 1769 book, The Experienced English Housekeeper. Raffald's recipe is for a Béchamel sauce with cheddar cheese—a Mornay sauce in French cooking—which is mixed with macaroni, sprinkled with Parmesan, and baked until bubbly and golden.”

This is the solution for folk such as you!
xxx

I was sitting at an outside table at a restaurant in France enjoying my glass of wine watching the swifts flying around in the evening sun. Then one of the little buggers shat right in my glass.

I did not, however, expect the restaurant to provide me with a replacement glass of wine. They don't control nature! I just took it as a sign from God that I'd had enough to drink!

Must have been my ex! He became very angry at the table being addressed as "Guys" and felt he should be addressed as Sir. One of the many reasons I divorced the enormously entitled bastard.

Sorry but this made me lol. Something very Monty Pythonesque about the whole affair. Thanks for making me 😁😁

That girl needs to learn to strike a match in the bathroom to get rid of her Dad's nasty toilet smells.

I do think that all kinds of silly requests, or plain daftness from customers can be forgiven if they are polite about it. They just almost always seem to be abominably rude with it for some reason.

Perhaps deep down somewhere they know they are batshit, and are defensive as a result..

I’ve thought of another one. Small, rural post office. Loud, smelly man comes in and wants to renew his tv licence. Not something we are able to do. He is FURIOUS. Apparently it is all our fault that he will now be going to PRISON!! Cos they are the options - either renew your tv licence today somewhere that can’t offer that service, or go off in chains immediately. Bonkers.

OOh my mum did that (in her 'probably-anorexic' phase)

I felt very bad for the waiting staff as they were trying to explain!

There's macaroni cheese as we know it here and there's also mac'n'cheese, an American dish with similar ingredients but very very different.

I made the mistake of ordering it in America. I'm sure if that's what you are used to it's delightful but it definitely wasn't to my taste.

Why can't he get rid of his own smells?

Indeed. I'm also surprised it wasn't the kids making the complaint themselves. Teenagers don't need a parent speaking up for them!

For the record Bisto Chicken gravy granules are NOT vegetarian but Bisto Beef Gravy granules are.

I attach a photo of the two tubs from my kitchen and you can see the red beef tub is labelled suitable for veggies but the orange chicken tub isn't.

We used to get reprimanded by management if we didn’t say “hey guys” and “what’s up guys” as it was an American style diner, so we had to use “American style” language 🙃

We had a customer stick their finger up the fuse hole of a piece of plugged in laboratory equipment and get an electric shock. We had to re-write the manual to caution people not to stick their finger up the fuse area when the instrument was plugged in.
We also had an instrument designed to wash a particular piece of a biological experiment as part of a staining process. You could used pre-sets or design your own wash. We stopped sending the demo instrument customer to customer after someone asked what the "soapy tit wank " program did

You didn't have to wear a 'Hooters' uniform, did you?

The eggs are cooked. Particularly with hospital omelettes. Hospitals don’t make omelettes fresh. They are bought in bulk and frozen, and just reheated. Those eggs are cooked.

Nothing wrong with an omelette for a breastfeeding mum.

No, thank God 😂

Head office did toy us with the idea of introducing roller skates for the wait staff though..

What’s the difference? I’m very curious!

"Waitress...this soup tastes totally different from last time" ME-"Sorry, did you have some earlier today?"
"How impertinent! Fetch me the manager"
ME- "boss table 6 wanna chat bout me"
BOSS "Only table six? well thats an improvement -ok lets do this,you wait here"..goes on floor all charm.
Kitchen door kicks open...".well Tolerable! you yet again excel as arsehole magnet of the day...i repeated -did you have some earlier?guest says "No, I was here in 1987".. Ha!
(was 1990)

I have Airbnbs and a guest once marked me down on the review for accuracy because the place was nicer in real life than on the photos.

This used to happen at Waitrose all the time and the management pandered to it. Wine, flowers, chocolates, eggs, bottles of spirits all dropped when loading into their cars. They would come to the desk and ask for a replacement because THEY dropped it. Manager of course said yes every single time. One time I was told to go out and sweep up the glass from a broken bottle in the car park because the lady didn't want to driver over it, it's not even owned by Waitrose but the council. At what point do you take responsibility for your own actions?

In Germany, I saw a family (2 adults, 2 kids) make numerous filled rolls at a hotel for a packed lunch (as well as snaffling fruit and yoghurt), and THEN took - I shit you not - 20 rolls from the bakery tray into a large plastic bag, and made an enormous fuss when they were stopped.

In Montenegro, I saw Russian and Ukrainian babushkas approach the buffet with large Tupperware bowls to denude the area of game and cheese. The hotel had bolted the trays to the table because previously they would carry the whole tray away (and sometimes pinch the tray as well).