Sister constantly on about how intelligent her DC is

[Stickinthemuddle]

I feel awful when I hear my sister go on about how intelligent her DC is. She’s described him as ‘incredibly advanced’ ‘way ahead of the rest of the class’ ‘a natural leader’ and ‘a skilled orator’. She’s also got a bunch of tales about him smugly correcting his teachers. He’s 8.

I do think he’s super bright (and funny and kind and inquisitive) but she makes him sound quite unpleasant! I guess I feel guilty because I am very fond of him so feel I should also be celebrating how great he is but this boastfulness makes me want to add in my head stuff like ‘oh well he is summer born’ or ‘why aren’t the school giving him more stretching stuff then’.

He is bright and is top of the class, am I just being envious? My kids are happy at school and doing fine, they’ve got one or two things they’re great at but (with love!) I wouldn’t describe them as incredibly advanced etc etc. They get on great with their cousin and are all really close.

They're coming to stay for a week over Christmas and I’m already dreading when the kids are in bed and she starts reeling off his latest achievements- how do I respond? Or is just a private mantra in my head about how nice my nephew is a better approach?

My nephew himself is proud of his knowledge of some historical facts but doesn’t talk about himself like this at all.

Time to be really patronizing OP. Yawn loudly, say ‘can we change the record?’ ‘is there something else we can talk about’ ‘child free conversation please’. Women like her are insufferable.

I feel bad for her son. She's making life harder for him.

My best pal's nephew was similar with knowledge but deeply unpleasant with it. He was constantly bullied at school.
I have a son roughly the same age who is very mellow, so she arranged a play date so DN could socialise.
I had a phone call within the hour that her DN had made my DS cry by saying he was retarded. My son has very mild learning difficulties and is ASD so the R word really upset him.
Friends DN was saying similar to the kids at school and also told them that santa personally invited him to lapland and got him a new console every year because he was so smart. So the kids just had enough of him and expectedly just picked on him.
Friends DN is 19 now and still hasn't a friend, is very opinionated (pro tate brothers) on everything and besides people online he talks to, has no friends.
He is the kind of kid you'd not be shocked to find out if he made the headlines for a terrible crime.
I hope your sis reins it in with her DS, it's just not a way to have a nice healthy way of being around people, being made to feel you're superior.

Get the little nerd on Trivial Pursuit and watch him crumble 😅

It's your sister, not an acquaintance. It could be that she has to hold in the pride all year long for fear of boasting or looking competitive amongst mum friends or friends who are mums. When she sees you she finally has an outlet, someone she can celebrate with because she knows you love him and someone she can be a bit insufferable with because, well, you're her sister.

I would address the stories that make him sound more smug than he is as she might be accidentally reinforcing unlikeable qualities. Luckily because he's lovely, you can do it in a positive way.

I find the best response in these situations is to just smile, say ‘lovely’ and change the topic. Unless she is blinkered or thick skinned, she will get what you’re doing, and just might tone things down in your presence.

love that guy 😂

I think if you have dc it's probably insensitive esp if yours arnt doing as well academically.

I'd just say I'm so proud of dn but... It's making me uncomfortable around my dc who are working at a different pace accamic wise

Just say That's Great, and have another drink.
It's lovely that you can still see your nephew as a great kid, despite this 😂.
There's a lot of growing up to do - who knows what path he will take later. Just keep changing the subject.

Boasting is annoying. It's a bit early to tell but hopefully he will keep up early promise.

I would encourage a growth mindset in your own DC. It's not good to be convinced of your own intelligence and superiority. You need to encourage resilience and determination.

Totally this