Doom laden/cryptic relationship advice from mothers/grandmas/older women.

[KnopkaPixie]

"Better an old man's darling than a young man's fool."

"There's the the lover and the beloved."

With thanks to Valerie and Iris. Throw your dishcloth into the ring with similar homilies.

My grandmother's favourite was "a good bird doesn't shit on its own nest", which is pretty good relationship advice actually!

"Handsome is as handsome does." Adjusts cardigan across bosoms.

Love flies out the window when poverty enters through the door

’When one shop shuts, another shop opens’

This was my nana - who was like my mum when I told her my husband was apparently seeing prostitutes.

"Never trust a dog with orange eyebrows", "Always get the young man's name and address,"
Nanny Ogg

Both so, so true...

I don’t think that’s particularly doom-laden. I’d agree that in most relationships there’s the pursuer and the pursued. Some people much prefer being the ‘lover’ or ‘pursuer’ than the one who is loved. I have a good friend who is utterly turned off by anyone who is straightforwardly into him, because he prefers to be the lover. He fell back in love with his wife while she was divorcing him.

And if the choice were straightforwardly between an older man who treated you well and a younger one who fucked his way through the surrounding area, what are you going to pick? Ideally, obviously, you pick neither.

"He who pays the piper calls the tune", and "There's no such thing as a free lunch". Very true.

"He's not looking at the fireplace when he's poking the fire."

Grandma Dora.

"Never trust a dog with orange eyebrows."

What is this? Don't date ginger people? (I'm a ginger) Please explain.

It’s all me arse and peggy martin - right load of bollocks with love from granny mary (much missed)

Oh I've never heard that! Better to be a old man's darling I like it

"Better an old man's darling"

"How old was Grandad Harry when you married him Nanny Iris?"

"Thirty two. But I was twenty one and had Valerie and Adrian with other Grandad Harry."

"Grandad Harold? Yes. Killed when he was twenty one, you know went on. It was the war. So then I met Henry. Also Harry. And then we had Kay Lorraine."

"Why keep a cow when you can have the milk for free?"

This was my nan's way of saying that there was no reason for a man to marry his girlfriend if she would have sex with him regardless.

It’s a quote from a Terry Pratchett book. Nothing to do with people with red hair.

“It takes a lifetime to build a reputation but just one night to lose it.”

A friend’s mother used to say this to use when we were off out on a Friday night.

You can't wash your hair during your period
All fur coat and no knickers
No better than she ought to be ( still not sure what that means!!)

Keep young and beautiful if you want to be loved (stolen from a song obviously!)
An old man's darling is better than a young man's fool.

"It's as easy to love a rich man as it is to love a poor one"

The one piece of my mother's advice that I actually listened to😂!

You should have told your gran :“Yeah but why buy the pig when I just want a sausage?”

Waste Not, Want Not.

Quite sensible really!

'Handsome is as handsome does' was my grandmother's saying.

If you have a good man, blind him in one eye.
If you have a bad ‘un, blind him in both.

What does "handsome is as handsome does" actually mean? I've heard it a few times and always wonder.

“Never so much as pop to the shops without a full face of makeup as you never know who you might bump into.”

I couldn’t give two hoots who sees me, Granny. I need loo roll.

"Have a good time. Don't be one."