Doom laden/cryptic relationship advice from mothers/grandmas/older women.

[KnopkaPixie]

"Better an old man's darling than a young man's fool."

"There's the the lover and the beloved."

With thanks to Valerie and Iris. Throw your dishcloth into the ring with similar homilies.

Never do anything you wouldn't want your mother to know about. Gran

My personal favourite, don't know where from. Never make a decision after 2am.

My Auntie Nance had two sayings that opened my eyes when I was a child.

About babies: ;IF men 'd had the first there'd wouldn't have been a second..'

About men who boast about their sexual exploits 'Aye, and the next time'll be the first time..'

My DM:
If I've got to be miserable, I'd rather be miserable in comfort.

My great grandmother (Emma) used to tell my mother "never clean a man's shoes for him".

I’ve remembered another wise saying from my Granny when choosing a man: Handsome looks will fade but a good sense of humour stays forever.

All bullies are cowards.
...and a lot of cowards are bullies.

My nanna says the best contraception is a penny… you hold it tightly between your knees.

also, ‘Be good, if you can’t be good be careful, and if you can’t be careful buy a pram’

Are you Jane Eyre's granddaughter?

My Nan, from teenage years to early thirties:
Don't settle, you'll regret it.
Don't have kids, you'll regret it.

My Nan, now I'm in my mid thirties:
Why haven't you settled down, what is wrong with you.
Why don't you have kids yet, life is passing you by.

Make up your mind woman!!

"It's never too late to back out of a wedding" - Auntie Clara throughout the run up to my wedding.
We've been married over a decade now. 🤣

Good old Granny O also used to say "It's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man". But she always followed it up with "But no one lives longer than a rich old man".

It means something you fondly believe isn’t noticeable very much is!

If you won't hear, you'll feel.

Grandma Erin.

Translation: if you won't take advice you'll be sorry.

"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery"

I can't believe it! Beverley Macca has been saying that my coat/boots/hairdo is ugly for weeks and now she's only gone and copied me Nana!

Ah well. * *

My mother - one person you should never trust is a husband.

One from my grandad to his five daughters, “Marry for love and not for money, but make sure you love where there’s money”
spoken like a true Yorkshireman.

Love these

"Now that's what you call a dressless evening strap."

"Strapless evening dress." For those not from Lancashire.

Snow on the roof, fire in the grate is BRILLIANT

Whenever we moaned to my dad "it's not fair!" He always replied with "life's not fair, and then you die."
I mean it's true, but not very reassuring when your little sister's nicked your best Barbie!

You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

meaning you’ll get your own way by being nice rather than nagging or complaining.

Where there’s a will there’s a relative.