What are some trivial and stupid things your parents would give you shit for ? What are some stupid rules they had ?

[nadia11]

Most of us have decent relationships with our parents but most parents in general give us shit about the most trivial things.

When me and my sisters as well as my two brothers lived with my parents until our early twenties, our parents(especially our mom) would give us shit for not brushing our hair even when we wouldn't go out and be in the house all day.

Home should be a safe haven. You shouldn't be worried about your appearance at all but our parents expected us to look somewhat presentable all the time.

Another stupid expectation. We were expected to be up by 9 AM on weekends. Now that we don't live with them anymore, we can sleep in till whatever time we want on weekends. 10 AM, 11 AM, 12 PM.

And also when we were teenagers, our parents gave us shit for refusing to let our younger cousins play in our gaming consoles. They would also give us shit for not letting them play in our cellphones.

We couldn't lay down on the couches.

One time our mom gave us shit for not cooking for our older brothers.

We were not allowed to polish out toenails and we were not allowed to wear open high heels or sandals because they claimed that women's feet are one of the things that causes random guys to lust after women. That's why we couldn't be barefoot or wear flip flops whenever our fathers guy friends would show up. We had to cover our feet. Apparently guys get sexually aroused by feet.

We couldn't have boyfriends. We weren't even allowed to have guy platonic friends.

We were not allowed to go to the beaches.

we were not allowed to put our elbows on the table or sing at the table. It was considered to be rude. No.idea why .

Not allowed to:

Speak with mouth full (fair enough, but it happens occasionally)
Put elbows on the table
Get up without asking to be excused
Gulp or eat loudly
Chew too much
Stir our tea too many times
No food to be eaten anywhere except the kitchen table
Leave any food uneaten (had to sit for hours until you ate it)
Have the heating on
Have a bath unless told
Help yourself to food or drink. Drink would be given grudgingly but no food inbetween meals, even if you had come in late and missed a meal
Wipe condensation off the windows (including the car)
Slough
Fart or burp
Sneeze or cough excessively
Talk about feelings, dreams, hopes, illnesses, politics or religion
Be an atheist
Be left wing
Have an original thought
Chose the GCSEs you wanted
Get up once in bed, even for the toilet
Argue
Wear shoes in the house
Have nice clothes
Boast (or talk about any achievements)
Do any clubs that would require driving there (we lived miles from anywhere)
Have friends round
Wear make up
Have a hair cut
Wear anything short (I mean in the house, not that my dad would have cared)
Complain
Say we were bored
Ask for help/stuff
Argue with our siblings
Look at our siblings "in a funny way"
Talk loudly

All enforced with light to medium violence and many punishments.

Happy days.

slough should be slouch. They weren't mean enough to make us go to Slough.

wearing mascara (apparently only tarts wore mascara)
wearing jeans (only fit for labourers)
watching ITV (low class)
eating an apple by crunching it, rather than cutting it into slides and eating it quietly
and eating in the street (a cardinal sin) 😂

Honestly, I can't think of anything. My parents were eminently reasonable.

They expected us to be polite and considerate, but they were equally polite and considerate towards us. They expected us to work hard and do our best with stuff, but only within reason and never to the detriment of our wellbeing. They expected to observe basic safety measures. I don't actually remember them making a fuss about anything pointless at all.

I have strived to replicate this approach with dd, and hope that she would feel the same way that I do... though you'd have to ask her that, I suppose!

We were allowed to lie on the sofas but not have a blanket (common). We weren’t allowed a house key (common) so had to climb in through a window when they were out. We weren’t allowed a lie in to the point when I was doing my a-levels and working in a club until 4am I would have to be up before 10 or the vacuum would be in. There was also issues around individual yoghurt pots which I’ve carried into adulthood. I treat them as a rare indulgence along the lines of the smoked salmon parcel things you get at Christmas even though I know you can just buy them cheaply and thoughtless eat them at your desk. Plus too many things on @Frith2013 list to mention - talking about feelings or politics being a big feature. Also being “daft” which covers nearly everything from haircuts or shoes to joining the circus. Ditto “drawing attention to yourself”.

It drives my mum mad if you lie on the sofa or even put your feet up on it! We weren't allowed to eat in the living room either until we were much older (I'm talking in my 20's!!).
My mum still gives me a row for drinking out of a water bottle (one with a sports cap lid) while I'm driving, even if i'm stopped at traffic lights. If she comes food shopping with me she reminds me to check the BB4 dates on things.....I am a professional woman in my 40's who has never given herself, or anyone else, food poisoning!!

I wasn’t allowed to wear makeup even in my teens

yy, drawing attention to yourself was the very worst thing.

No eating walking in the street but if you found a bench you may.

Frith2013 your list pretty much covers it, made me shudder a tiny bit.

My parents are very liberal but I'm school nights past 9pm.
I generally had to be home by midnight as a teen.
I could stay with my boyfriend's house and vice versa when we were 16.
We did have to have very good table manners which I am failing to pass on to my vile children.

They expected us to do well at school which I did do. I also went out raving and had lots of fun!

@flapjackfairy
My mum's Aunt would announce "all joints on the table are to be carved" She included elbow joints!

Mum said it enough to me that I still feel guilty if my elbows are on the table!

Never allowed to wear hair down. Always had to be tied back. But she also never taught me how to tie it back nicely so I was bullied for my rank looking hair. Thanks Mum!

I think some of those things mentioned are basic table manners tbh. I never allowed elbows on tables, I encouraged my children chew with their mouth closed, never to speak with a full mouth, use cutlery properly and no slurping or burping at the table etc. My parents instilled these manner in us too.

We weren’t allowed feet on sofas or shoes on past the hallway which is pretty normal I think.

Sounds like mine. The only ban I can think of was no Neighbours or Home and Away. Dad disaproved of soaps and especially Australian ones as we kept losing the Ashes.

We got round that as the TV was in 'our' living room and we had a rota as to which sister stood by the telly ready to press the TV button to change channel if the door opened (pre remotes for a v old telly). Actualy it taught us teamwork.

Never heard that one ! so many silly rules when you think about it!

No drinks with meals. We got thumped if we were caught sneaking a drink out of the tap. My stepdad was convinced children were on some perverse mission to "fill up on water" and avoid eating any food.

No using the toilet at night. They never said it outright, but if they heard you out of bed you got roared at and threatened. Flushing was out of the question, but if there was anything in the loo in the morning you were a disgusting, selfish little bastard.

No friends round. They hated everyone.

No talking during meals. This one was mostly ineffective as they didn't usually eat with us, but Christmas dinner was excruciating.

No mentioning my father or any of his family, unless you wanted a barrage of abuse about how worthless and disgusting they were, followed by days of sulking and random tantrums.

No answering back or self-defence of any kind. My brother once got thumped for wiping my stepdad's spittle off his face during a rant.

Happy days.

Love my mum to bits and she has always been great, had a blissful childhood and she sacrificed loads for us, still does. Most of the low level weird has only become obvious to me as I have become an adult.

One particularly weird one was that whenever I suggested any activity with other people, she would never accent the proposed time. e.g. « X’s parents Will take us swimming (drive us there, supervise us and pay for us) then cook us lunch at their house and drive us home, it’s from 10am to 2pm, » and she would reply « can’t they pick you up at 9.50am ? » when it was a holiday or weekend day with absolutely no other plans. Always minimal time changes too. Even for fixed activities i.e. school sports’ team practice that I would walk to, she would want to suggest another time just for me / my siblings. As if we must never be dictated to and must always have people waiting for us.

Also used to be really annoying about sleeping late at the weekends for no évident reason. DD13 has started to need more sleep récently and I really can’t say that it bothers me at all.

Another stupid expectation. We were expected to be up by 9 AM on weekends. Now that we don't live with them anymore, we can sleep in till whatever time we want on weekends. 10 AM, 11 AM, 12 PM.

Ours used to be like that and would phone early at weekend even after we were moved out - are you up yet - as DH says why ring if you thought we wouldn't be.

However they've all been retired for years - and they all still do it. IL often come to door half 8 when visiting and I've just had to ask Mum why she so upset she not getting up till later as there is no reason for her to be up early. They all seem very guilty if they aren't up early and more so if not completely dressed - it seems less a choice than some heavily drilled in expectation from their childhood.

That's interesting. Some rules seem quite reasonable to me like eating the food on the kitchen table, especially if the parents are the ones who have to clean the potential mess or if it has financial consequences too heavy for the family's budget. You need to have rules in a family and in a society.
The main problem in these families seem to be the lack of love rather than the rules. Some examples are from abusive parents.

I must have been lucky because my parents didn't have any rules that didn't make sense. When to brush teeth. What time to come home. Homework before watching TV. Don't drop litter. That sort of stuff. We never got told off about table manners, as long as no food was flung😆 We didn't even have to ask for permission to leave the table nor were we told where to place our elbows. It was fairly casual in our house, but we had total and utter respect for our parents. They were good people.

@Frith2013 covers it, although we were also not allowed

• to know anything our parents didn't already know (we were getting too big for our boots)
• to show kindness to each other (got mocked by DF)

Actually thinking about it, my boyfriend could stay over from when I was 17 as I was a straight A student. My younger sister wasn't, and hers wasn't allowed to at the same age. I can see both sides on this, although I do recall saying to my parents at the time that it wasn't going to help re the grades if she was pissed off.

Eat loudly
Caused me an ED.

This thread makes me sad. I am sorry for those of you with abusive parents.

Not many strange rules in our house, though my Mum was anti-ITV for a while.

Ooops I am that mum who insists on teeth and hair being brushed even if you're not leaving the house. It's basic hygiene and care in my eyes. Hair gets knotted.

I craved a pair of red patent leather Mary Jane's as a young child. I wasn't allowed them as red shoes are 'tarty'