What are some trivial and stupid things your parents would give you shit for ? What are some stupid rules they had ?

[nadia11]

Most of us have decent relationships with our parents but most parents in general give us shit about the most trivial things.

When me and my sisters as well as my two brothers lived with my parents until our early twenties, our parents(especially our mom) would give us shit for not brushing our hair even when we wouldn't go out and be in the house all day.

Home should be a safe haven. You shouldn't be worried about your appearance at all but our parents expected us to look somewhat presentable all the time.

Another stupid expectation. We were expected to be up by 9 AM on weekends. Now that we don't live with them anymore, we can sleep in till whatever time we want on weekends. 10 AM, 11 AM, 12 PM.

And also when we were teenagers, our parents gave us shit for refusing to let our younger cousins play in our gaming consoles. They would also give us shit for not letting them play in our cellphones.

We couldn't lay down on the couches.

One time our mom gave us shit for not cooking for our older brothers.

We were not allowed to polish out toenails and we were not allowed to wear open high heels or sandals because they claimed that women's feet are one of the things that causes random guys to lust after women. That's why we couldn't be barefoot or wear flip flops whenever our fathers guy friends would show up. We had to cover our feet. Apparently guys get sexually aroused by feet.

We couldn't have boyfriends. We weren't even allowed to have guy platonic friends.

We were not allowed to go to the beaches.

Similar situation here except I started at 14 (not sure why so late), I wasn't banned from having tampons but my mum did suggest I 'think carefully' because tampons would 'affect my virginity'. I get where she was coming from and she meant well, but her views on premarital sex were out of the ark so that broken hymen = lost virginity in her book. (I realise that's a thing in some cultures btw, but not my family's, so it bemused me.)

The hypocrisy amongst even well intentioned parents like most of ours is mind boggling at times, isn't it ?

Swearing wasn't allowed from us kids (rightly) but if our DF was in a mood, we were called names like bitch, and there was lots of effing and blinding.

We weren't allowed to call anybody stupid and bullying was forbidden (again, rightly so) but if we kids or my mum made a mistake we would get called stupid, idiot, told how worthless we are. And fat. Fatness or weight/food difficulties was a reason to name call, ridicule and shame.

Not allowed to be a kid rather than a prim and proper girly girl.

Not allowed to read too much.

Not allowed out after dark at a certain age , which meant like 4 pm in winter.

No tampons ( I won on that one).

Not allowed a proper swimsuit until I made a massive fuss as I was way too old/developed to run around in just a pair of knickers.

Not allowed various types of music / tv shows , but Benny Hill was family entertainment since I was like 5.

Various random, stupid and completely arbitrary shite like that.

It's bizarre to see how many weird taboos there used to be around periods, tampons and culture deemed as lowbrow. I wonder what our own children will write about us on threads like this in the future? What are our current taboos and rules ?

Eating in the street was absolutely forbidden.

No idea why.

They were mad and mean 😢
Love your humour and glad to hear you're making the most of your freedom! 💗🙌

One thing I found particularly confusing with my parents was, when I was a teen, sleeping in was selfish and lazy and if I did, I would get no end of grief for it, or woken up forcibly, my Dad would barge into my room, waking me up, when I was fast asleep-this is even once I had began working two jobs, meaning some days I would wake up at 04:30 for work and come back home to go back to sleep before going into college in the afternoon. Sleeping any longer than they thought was necessary was BAD!

And then once I moved out, if I ever stayed over it was all 'hush hush, Pink's asleep, don't vacuum yet'. One day I slept in quite late and remarked that I hadn't known what time it was, had they just got up too? No, they were sneaking around as to not wake me. Nothing had changed other than I had moved out and was a tiny bit older due to the passing of time! So from being 12-15/16 it was fair game to not let me sleep but once I was 16 and had moved out, careful don't wake her!
Why?!

The inlaws (well MIL) would never let DH and his sibling lie in either. I think 7.30am was the latest. This continued once they'd left home, if they went back to stay and included me if I ever stayed as well. If I was in bed and it was veering towards 8am there would be vigorous hoovering outside the room.

Nothing, although I may not have understood the need for their rules at the time, looking back my parents rules were sensible and appropriate and there for a reason to better prepare me for life.

I make DD get up, washed and dressed by 10 am and a shower everyday. She can lay back on her bed if she likes and do what she pleases afterwards but she'll do it dressed for the day.

You cannot compare parents of yesteryear to today though, their influence was largely their own upbringing and the church and their community, possibly and more rarely TV and the odd parenting book.My grandparents were born in the 30s parenting through the war and their parents in the Victorian times. It takes a long time for generational and societal rules to change. Now, for better or worse we have global influences and access to the trends and experience of millions, to sense check our decisions.

Very low key compared to some on here.

No eating in the street (agree)

No smoking in the street (in the 70s my mother told me I could smoke at home if I had to but not like a tart in the street)

No boyfriends in my bedroom or overnight- not even DH when we were 30+ and engaged (mother had been married three times).

No worries about lying in but I was expected to get dressed before going downstairs.

Stand up straight and be as graceful as possible, smile and make conversation.

Unlike many, my mother taught me how to use make-up well, was completely open minded about periods/contraception, was naturally trendier than me.

Not being a boy - my mum is STILL telling me she only wanted boys.

I wasn’t allowed to watch

Tiswas
Marmalade Atkins
Grange Hill
The Young Ones

as these were “common” and a “bad influence”

I didn’t have it too bad. One of my parents was grumpy and needlessly mean but in terms of rules there weren’t any ones that come to mind apart from not dressing too causally when at home. I’ve since found the comfort of loungewear but if my parents come round to mine they think I’ve never left the house all day. They can’t understand why someone would change into comfy clothes in their home.

They are similar to my parents. They were not mean but they would give me shit if I don't brush my hair even when I don't leave the house.

Even now when they come to my house unannounced, they would give me shit for my messy hair.

My dad would scream at me for walking "too heavily" and also if I straightened my hair because he "hated the smell"!