DM doesn't want to get a cleaner because "they're for posh people"

[CleanerConundrums]

My mum is in her early 60s. She doesn't want to acknowledge that she should be slowing down at this point in her life. I think she should be taking things easier as she enters the autumn of her life. She does all the cleaning in her house herself. I don't feel comfortable with the thought of her climbing on ladders, kneeling down, mopping the floor and hoovering every day. To that end I have suggested the idea of her hiring a cleaner. I would even be willing to pay for them myself. Whenever I mention it, she balks at the idea. She has said that only posh people get cleaners. I see plenty of posts on MN from people with cleaners, some of whom are younger than my mum. I'm sure that most of them wouldn't consider themselves to be posh. She doesn't have a gardener either, which is another matter. What are people's thoughts on this?

Oh dear! I reach the big 60 this week. I have fibromyalgia and some problems with energy levels but even I don't want to be thought of as declining into the autumn of my life.

Your mother is younger than me and I still do my own cleaning. If she wants to mop her floors, who are you to argue?

She does not want to sit watching someonelse clean her house while she’s still able to do it. That seems fair enough to me.

2 issues here… cleaners certainly aren’t just for ‘posh people’, and if she wants a cleaner she shouldn’t let that stop her.
Secondly, my mum is 65, still cleans her own house, does her own gardening and works full time as a health care professional. She’s not past it just yet!

My cleaner is in her 80s

My gardener must be at least 100.

The chauffeur is 90 if he's a day

Window cleaner ( lots of ladders!) served in the Crimean War.

My cook used to work for Vera Lynn

Age is just a number.

Autumn of her life! No such thing!

FFS, early 60s is still 5 years off retirement! Unless she has specific health problems, there's no reason why she shouldn't do her own cleaning.
It's better for anybody not to go up a ladder if there's no one else in the house, but other than that, why do you think she can't manage?
It's lovely that you are so caring of her, but honestly, early 60s is not old!

Wtf she in her 60s and doesn't need a cleaner if she can do it herself.

My aunt was an office cleaner in her late 70s, couldn't bear to leave work!

Don't encourage your mother to slow down. Why does this make sense to you? It doesn't. She should be staying active. Cleaning if a form of activity.

I did laugh when I read this. I’m 62, not posh, no health problems and never used a cleaner before. I don’t feel “old” on most days. Usually do all the cleaning and work full time

I have recently organised for someone to come and do a one off clean for me. The bits that I can’t reach as well as I used to kind of thing as well as a general clean.
Maybe your mum might like something like that now or at some point in the future

She's in her 60s, she's not elderly!

My mum is nearly 70 and cleans her own home, sets the fire, decorates when needed, manages her garden and a veg allotment… she doesn’t need a cleaner. (We have one, I’m all for it…but we are time poor and she is not). My dad on the other hand has health issues and has a cleaner every other day. It really depends on the person, if shes
capable then it’s good for her to be active. ‘You aren’t comfortable’ sounds like
she has a health issue you worry about, but if not you need to leave her alone.

Jeez - I'm 62, still have a teenager and if anyone described me as being in the 'Autumn of my life' and need to slow down they'd get a right talking to!
Mind you I'd love a cleaner though!

I remember my uncle making a dig about me having cleaner, my mum pointed out I was providing employment for others which is a good thing. My parents are mid 70s and various health issues and can’t be persuaded to get any help at home. I think it is a good idea as people get older, perseve energy and time for more enjoyable things in life, prevent potential accidents and injury. But early 60s is still quite young. And any which way many people take pride in doing everything themselves. Maybe just soften her up to it so if she does needs it she longer sees it as something posh people do. Almost everyone I know has cleaners, we’re busy families but even when I was single I had a cleaner. I grew up very poor and I think money and life is to be grasped and enjoyed. I’d rather spend my time doing fun things than cleaning and can afford it so why not? I’ve had various cleaners over the years and the dynamic is very normal unless you make it werid!

Crumbs @CleanerConundrums I hope you haven’t mentioned being ‘in the autumn of her life’ to your Mum, she’s no age at all!

Gosh OP whats made you think early 60's is really old 😳
My parents and in-laws are all well into their 70's and none have cleaners or gardeners! My in-laws maintain a huge garden themselves - they are retired, they have the time and it keeps them moving and brings them a lot of pleasure.
My mum in her 70's is a gym regular and does loads of classes too!
They'd be mortified if i suggested they arent capable of cleaning their own homes 😂

The ‘autumn of her life’ wording makes me think this is a goady troll TBH!

Are you for real?

She doesn't want to acknowledge that she should be slowing down at this point in her life.

She doesn't need to, that's why. And she's probably rather insulted that you have written her off already.

Are you for real?

No...

Ah catch yourself on, OP. Autumn of her life, indeed.

I have two Nans who are both in their 80's. One is fully fledged, still cleaning her house to an inch of its life and doing the gardening but the other has some mobility restraints and now doesn't do as much because of this. I think it's person-specific but ideally it's your Mum's decision to choose whether she feels she can continue. Many people like the independence and ability to continue normal activities whereas others may relish in the idea of a cleaner. I don't think it's a decision you can make for her but definitely keep up conversation with her about introducing ideas like cleaners for jobs she may not be as easily able to do anymore. Also, 60 isn't old and unless she's incapable for certain health reasons; she's not exactly a risk of continuing her life like she did 5 years ago, 10 years ago. She'll most likely let you know when it's getting tough for her.

Crikey. You talk about your mother like she was positively ancient! She's only 60 and if she feels she can manage her housework, it's none of your business.

Good lord

Why is “staying active” equated with doing mundane jobs like housework though?

There are lots of fun activities I would do if I had more free time.

It's not the only way to stay active, however it does help to do so. I choose to do my own cleaning as I can do it when I want and it does help me to keep mobile.

My mil is in her seventies and still takes cleaningjobs! Great way to stay active.

My dear old gran is 83 and still does all her own cleaning! 60s isn't old at all.